Random Cricket Headlines !

This is Radio Doctoring the Balls 99.99. Cricket Headlines brought to you by Dr. Balls.

Shahid Afridi didn't announce retirement from any form of Cricket today.

Sachin Tendulkar's legs were not trembling when he registered his first vote in the Rajya Sabha because Shoaib Aqtar was not present in the house at that time. Shahid Afridi has confirmed this report.

Kevin Peitersen has appointed Shahid Afridi as his 'Retirement Coach' and Mohammed Yousuf will act as a Consultant on retirement plans.

On grounds of anonymity, a BCCI insider has confided to Dr. Balls that Gautam Gambhir lost his Vice-Captaincy not on disciplinary grounds. Since GG is actually 2G, the BCCI patronized by Sharad Pawar didn't want to be seen promoting anything even remotely related to 2G.

What do the juniors in Team India call Sehwag behind him ? Virus [Viru S] !

Former Australia Captain Ricky Ponting's Biography has been titled, "Rickypedia". The contents have been kept top secret. But Dr. Balls promises to bring out a preview even before it is written and plans to call it, "Rickyleaks".

Amnesty International is not amused because Kapil Dev has joined Rapidex advanced English speaking course to understand the meaning of Amnesty !

After injuries to two international Wicket-keepers Mark Boucher and Kumar Sangakkara, Pakistan fans sincerely hope they'll be third time lucky with Kamran Akmal aka Kakmal.

India and Sri Lanka have decided not to play another 5 match ODI series in near future. Sri Lanka because they fear Virat Kohli will become the first ever player to score 100 centuries against same team and India because BCCI saw too many empty stands during the last series.

Manoj Tiwari says, 'You improve mentally when you are a part of Team India'. What he means is when you compete with reservation candidates like Rohit Sharma, your performance is bound to improve.

Pakistan offers to play their home series against India in India.

Mahindra set to sponsor Sri Lanka Premier League. Sri Lankan fans fear it is Rajapaksa and Indian fans believe it is their own Captain Cool Dhoni. 

Tiwary is a serious contender for a regular place in ODI team: says Coach Fletcher. Rohit Sharma runs crying to Dhoni and is pacified by the Captain saying, "Don't worry, we can always REST Viru Sehwag".

After Andrew Strauss dropped himself down the order during second test, Alistair Cook was heard telling his mates, "We'd be better off if he drops himself from the team". Broad has declared all this as baseless.

And finally the tail-line:
Away from Cricket, though Mary Kom apologized to the nation for not bringing the Gold, she has reasons to cheer. Manappuram Gold Loan people have expressed willingness to sanction Gold Loan against her bronze medal so that she can buy LPG cylinders in her state.

SPun Doctor Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.blogspot.in/

Good Bye to a Bloody Mean Champion Cricketer !

A young friend of mine tweeted after tonight's match...
Australia meet West Indies... at the Airport !

That was funny and a lot of people are rejoicing the fall of a Champion.
Let Australia sulk. Stronger or weaker, they will come back.
But there was one man who went out tonight perhaps for the last time in a World Cup.

I never liked Ponting. His earliest claim to fame was on a juniors tour of India when he flayed all the junior Indian bowlers. Many of them never played senior Cricket. Then he made more news for pub brawls than for his on field exploits. Ever since he made his debut, I had a special dislike for him.

I disliked Ponting because...

He had the best team playing with him or under him through most of his career.
He blasted India in the 2003 World Cup Final and that scar can't heal. Not even after this win.
He had Shane Warne and Glen McGrath giving him wickets whenever he wanted.
He was the most prolific scorer in the new millennium and not Sachin.
He almost threatened to overtake Sachin at one time and break most of his records.
He had three World Cups in his kitty and two of them as as Captain.
But most importantly, he had never lost a World Cup match as a Captain.

I hated Ponting because...

He had transgressed the spirit of Cricket more often than anyone could care to remember.
But he somehow escaped with much lighter punishment than others, especially Asians.
He lead from the front all the unholy activity during the infamous Sydney Test in 2008.
Forget walking, he regularly contested Umpiring decisions and mostly escaped Scott free.
And most importantly for never walking but expecting opponents to 'walk' !

There can be a million reasons to dislike Ponting and hate Ponting.
But he was a Genius without a doubt. A flawed Genius if there is one.

For one who had not lost a single World Cup match and had overseen annihilation of all the 3 South Asian Teams in 3 successive World Cup Finals, Ponting went out against 3 South Asian Teams. He couldn't beat any one of them this time.

Sri Lanka were in a very good position before the rains intervened.
Pakistan gave Ponting the first taste of World Cup defeat in a dozen years.
And India knocked him and his team out of the World Cup tonight.

He was under pressure from all corners. For the LCD episode. For the Steve Smith episode. For not walking. For talking. And for being Ricky Ponting ! But what a way to go. He was out of form for longer than even Rahul Dravid. Boy, did he choose a match to strike form ? He couldn't have done anything more or better. He and his team just ran into a slightly better team on the day.

Ricky Ponting has tormented Indians for so long and so badly, it is a relief to see him walk away into sunset or to hell.

But before that, let us say gracefully...

He was such a bloody mean Champion Cricketer !

And he went out with his head held high !

Good bye Ponting !



SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Why India may not break the WC Jinx ?

I have received quite a lot of flak for predicting doom for India in this World Cup and a Pakistan win. People in India cannot accept either. Well guys, get ready with your stones and effigies. No, not me; who cares for me ? I am talking about Indian Cricketers...

THIS is my post for Die hard Cricket Fans ! I am providing the link here to avoid duplication issues with Google !


SPun Doctor

Toes and Woes: The Revenge of the Slinga !

Even as Ireland pipped England in a historical match at Chinnaswamy Stadium Bengaluru, I prefer to dwell on what happened yesterday.

Whoever thought it was a boring match ? I haven't laughed as much even while watching Chatur's Balatkaar speech from '3 Idiots'. Well, I was laughing at the plight of Kenyan batsmen and also at what could be in store for the rest of the teams through the Cup.

Here are some interesting 'Slinga' facts from the Kenya - Sri Lanka match...

1] Revenge of the Slinga: Just like Sehwag, Malinga was waiting for this 'Revenge Match'. No, he wasn't around in 2003. But WTF, they beat us then and we have to extract revenge !

2] Save Toes Campaign: Cricket Pundits will have to quickly invent some devises to protect the toes of batsmen from those Malinga Yorkers.

3] Third Highest Contributor: Malinga had another distinction in the match. C and D Obuya brothers scored 103 runs between them. Kenya's third highest contributor was Malinga himself. He gave away 9 runs with no-balls and wides.

4] Don't Catch them, just crush them: Malinga again walks away with another distinction. All his victims were either bowled or LBW.

5] Accidental runs: Most of the 38 runs scored of his bowling were thanks to no balls, wide balls and edges apart from those inadvertent drives resulting from accidental contact of the speeding ball with the unsuspecting bats. 

6] UDRS Euthanasia: Tanmay Mishra labored around facing 13 balls without being able to get the ball out of the 5 yard circle, if there is one. And he had the cheek to ask for UDRS when another Malinga Yorker crushed his toes. The Third Umpire ruled him out, in what can be termed as the first ever incident of 'Active Euthanasia' on a Cricket field ! It is with this wicket that the 'Hat-trick' began. 

7] Denial of rights: Chamara Silva was severely reprimanded by Sri Lanka Cricket for running out Kamande. That fellow denied a certain seventh wicket to Malinga. How mean can some people get ! 

8] The Last Man Standing on his own toes: Odhiambo will go down as one of the World Cup Heroes in Kenya. He was the only one to find the boundary ropes with the ball after the fall of Obuya brothers. All others managed to cross the ropes this side and that side during the procession. Odhiambo then returned flattering bowling figures of 5-0-26-0, most economical for his team. Most importantly, 'He did not get Yorked by Malinga'. No mean achievement ! 

9] No Big ones: No Sixes were hit in the entire match because Malinga did not get to bat. So he settled for a 'Sixer' of wickets. 

10] Cup of woes: If he stays fit throughout the Cup, it could be the Cup of woes for a lot of batsmen !

11] The Last Man Talking: At the post match presentation, MOM Malinga talked in Sinhalese and that was a treat to watch or rather listen. His speech was faster than his sling shots. And honestly, it was tougher to comprehend than all of those toe-crushers !



SPun Doctor

World Cup Early Favorites : Mind Speaks !

I am not at all happy writing this post. But when I feel like this, I have to.

Will India triumph on 2 April 2011 ?

My Heart wants to say "Yes", but the mind screams "NO" and silences the heart !

Why ? Let me give my reasons why other teams stand better chances.

This World Cup is like a Marathon Race. It is quite long, as long as some of my posts. The last team standing on the podium will be the one with the maximum endurance. And India don't look like they possess it.

Let me explain why I rate the chances of India lower than other teams.

1] South Africa: For me, they are the favorites this time. They have played good amount of Cricket and almost all are fit. Their Batting might is perhaps second only to India. But they have the best bowling army with enough ammunition to exploit any conditions. Bowling and quality of fielding will make the difference on Subcontinental pitches. So they start as favorites.
Key Players: Kallis, who else ? Steyn and Amla.

2] England: Forget Ryan ten Doeschate. Forget 6-1. That was a team drained after the monumental Ashes win. England will be a different team at the WC-11. They too have a fabulous batting line up, perhaps third strongest. But it is the bowling and the Swann factor that will make the difference. They seem to find ready replacements for any injured bowler. So, they are my second finalists.
Key Players: This could be ODI Swann song for Peitersen and Paul Collingwood !

3] Sri Lanka: Their middle order is nowhere near that of India or South Africa. But the 'Big Two' seem to deliver most of the times when it comes to ICC World Cup. But what makes them hot is the sheer quality and variety of their bowling attack. No team can boast of having every type of bowler except the Lions. How the middle order fairs will decide their fate in the knock out stages.
Key Players: Malinga and Murali.

4] Australia: Forget ThrAshes. Forget practice matches. Aussies are a different team in ODI Cricket. Absence of Mussey will hurt them. Else I would have put them at No. 2. They have two vital players, Watson and Lee and they will leave a big impact on WC-11. And never discount Ponting. Bowling is much better than India and that gives them the edge.
Key Players: Shane Watson and Brett Lee.

5] Pakistan: Cornered from all sides thanks to match and spot-fixing and players not mixing; Pakistan nevertheless is a team on the accent. They play their best when they are pressed hard. Bowling looks impressive even though a tad erratic. But if they can bowl out teams after conceding 25 wides, who cares ? Yunis Khan will be the fulcrum of this low on experience but high on Adrenaline Team.
Key Players: Any one from the 11 !

6] India: Batting card looks like a dream. But bowling causes nightmares. Sreesanth can win and lose matches single-handed. More often he manages the second. Ashish Nehra does not inspire enough confidence either. Munaf had a decent outing against Bangladesh. But can he bowl as well defending 270 ?

Bhajji doesn't really know his role in the team. Is he supposed to control runs or take wickets ? Zaheer can be fit and unfit even before you can pronounce the name Isha Sharvani. And then the Yuveraj Singh issue, is he a batsman who can bowl a bit or a bowler who can bat a bit ?

It is 'All is well' for Men in Blue when at least 2 of the top 4 score big. But that doesn't happen everyday. And there lies the problem. When the Top order falters, India lose the plot. So, for the miracle to happen, Sachin, Viru, Gauty and Virat should fire in every single match. Will that happen ?

If India have to win in spite of all these short-comings, Zaheer and Bhajji will have to deliver consistently and big time apart from the Top order !






S-Pun Doctor