Generous Dhoni, Talented Rohit and the Lesser Mortals !

One Day International Matches: 21, 10, 33, 15, 0, 4, 68, 5, 0, 0, 4, 4
T-20 International Matches: 0, 4*, 1*, 55*, 1

These are Rohit Sharma's returns from International matches in 2012. He averages overall 17 runs per dismissal. In T-20, it is 30.5 thanks to a 55 not out but in ODI Cricket, it is a pathetic 14 runs.

Manoj Tiwari has scored a hundred and a 65 in the 8 matches he has got to play. He has a 4 wicket haul in the only match he failed with the bat in 2012. In that match, he made 21 which was 8 more than the total number of runs Rohit Sharma scored in the entire series.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is obviously a generous man. His selectors have been more generous than that. He gives chance after chance to Rohit in the name of promise and talent. One or two failures and Yusuf Pathan gets thrown out. Forget Yusuf, Manoj Tiwari today, is the MOST WRONGED man in Indian Cricket.

For Dhoni, Rohit Sharma with 225 runs in 17 innings in 2012 is more important to the team than Virendar Sehwag who scored 219 runs in just one ODI innings in December 2011. In spite of all the attitude issues and ego clashes, preferring Rohit over Viru is criminal to put it mildly.

But even if Sehwag gets omitted on form, doesn't that rule apply to Rohit too ? Why different yardsticks for Rohit, Viru and Tiwari ?

We have seen how Piyush Chawla and Ravindra Jadeja have managed to sneak into the team in spite of continued non-performance. One success and he tends to keep them forever and just a couple of below par show and the lesser mortals get the 'axe effect'

But what is insidious and more evil is the way Dhoni is gradually demolishing Irfan Pathan. He somehow has a serious dislike for the name Pathan. After completely demolishing Yusuf Pathan, he has now taken up the job to finish off the half brother.

If he has so much faith in Rohit Sharma, why not send Rohit to open ? He is a top order batsman and has opened before. Why make Irfan a sacrificial lamb again ? Indian Cricket fans haven't forgotten how Greg Chappelle demolished Irfan by making him do too many things.

Irfan is NOT Shane Watson. He is a bowling All-rounder. He has won some crucial matches batting at 7 or 8. By forcing him to open, Dhoni is killing him again. Irfan doesn't know what is expected of him.

Mr. Dhoni, for the sake of the millions of fans who adulate your team, please stop this game of politics and ego. Your ego trip with Viru is YOUR problem. Stop destroying a precious talent who has found some kind of confidence after a long hiatus !

And can we hope for a reply for a set of questions ?

How many matches will Rohit get to play on much publicized talent after scoring just one 50 ?
How many matches will Tiwari get to warm the benches after every successful performance ?

Knowing you, Mr. Dhoni, we don't expect an answer. You have become the Dictator and you will end up demolishing this team. Unfortunate !


SPun Doctor

Why do I love IPL ?

IPL-4 is here, opening on a Friday; on a day most of the movies are released in India and elsewhere.

IPL has a lot in common with movies in India. Cricket and Cinema go together like Viv Richards and Nina Gupta. Howsoever far apart they might be, they do make strangely great bed-fellows. And IPL, is the Masaba of this relation ! A cross breed, yet beautiful and highly successful at a very young age.

Masaba...aah !

A lot of people, Purists, Poms and pushy Aussies have denounced IPL as 'Not Cricket'.

Michel Holding, one of my childhood favorites declared, "T-20 is not Cricket and Keiron Pollard is not a Cricketer".

Those who have not got a bite in, blame IPL for 'Crass Commercialization' of the 'Once Beautiful' game.

Pakistani Cricketers declare they don't care about IPL and then secretly curse Ijaz Butt.

BCCI declares IPL as clean because they have rid IPL of the corrupting influence of evil Lalit Modi.

But let people heap abuses and denigrate IPL. Let them damn it. Let them condemn it. Let them do anything except 'ban' it. That is something nobody will do. Thankfully, because IPL is a 'Goose that lays Platinum Eggs'. Gold is passe !

It is simple. I love IPL. I always like to give 5 reasons for anything and everything. But when it comes to IPL, I have so many reasons to love IPL, I might run out of space on the web. So I will stick to 11; one each for every team and one for Lalit Modi.

I Love IPL because...

1] I can sleep tight on the previous night of IPL Final. I couldn't on 1 April 2011 night.

2] Whoever wins the IPL Final, I can celebrate. An Indian team will be winning. If it is Delhi, happy for Viru. If KKR wins, great because Pathan is there. If Mumbai Indians win, Thank You Sachin.

3] My wife and daughter cope up with shorter matches. They thought I was on another planet during the entire World Cup campaign.

4] My temper remains fine even in the worst of situations during IPL. Ashish Nehra can't ruffle me and I adore Munaf Patel. Piyush Chawla is such a wonderful prodigy after all. And Rahul Dravid can't draw a match.

5] I don't have to worry about Sachin's 100th International Century and then his 50th ODI Century and then his 102 Century and then his 19000 runs in ODIs and 15000 runs in Test Cricket and so on...

6] 92 runs needed of 60 balls doesn't send my heart rate soaring to 184 in 60 seconds. It remains down, almost like Munaf Patel's speed. Nothing can change it.

7] Nobody will dare to drop Yusuf Pathan to accommodate Nohit Sharma / Ravindra Jadeja in the team.

8] Ravindra Jadeja can't lose a match for India, howsoever hard he might try.

9] Suresh Raina will not be bothered by short pitched bowling.

10] Shane Warne can continue to play; perhaps till we celebrate the Silver Jubilee of IPL.

11] And most importantly, Billy Bowden can't beat India !

And one for the Glamor !

How can we ignore the Glamor quotient ? How can we ignore Preity Zinta, Shilpa Shetty and her sister, SRK, Deepkia and her latest boyfriend and Kingfisher ? And of course the parties and Page-3 crowd and Fake IPL Player ? IPL is GLICKET [Glamor + Cricket]

Hail IPL; the greatest show on Earth !



SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

The Cup that Counts and Life after Retirement !

The promos of the Cricket World Cup claim this is "The Cup That Counts". I would love to know how much ? Or better still, till how much can this Cup count ? Or can it count at all ? I would like to begin a Counter that will count all counting and counter-counting.

But before that, and after watching  whatever Cricket I could during the past 3 weeks, I have come to worry about our Cricketers. No, not only Indians. But generally a lot of them. What will happen to them when they retire ?

Like failed Actors in Bollywood making mediocre Directors, many will go on to become Commentators and bore us to death before, during and after the play. But what about the rest ?

So I have devised some alternative careers for Cricketers. If anyone else has already thought of this noble thought before, I admit it is just a coincidence. But I invite them to join me in this initiative to found an Employment Agency for Retired Cricketers.

Since I am quite serious about this venture, I am not going to disclose all the details. Here are but a few sample of things to come... 

Tatenda Taibu: He played just 6 balls today. But the zeal he showed in trying to reverse sweep everything Murali hurled at him was motivating. He kept his slate clean. The first time he played straight, he was out. He should be made in charge of the sweeping and cleaning committee at our airports. Those places will be better with him and Cricket, without. 

Kamran Akmal: Pakistan should immediately appoint him the head of their calamity management team. He can remain calm even during a storm. Why ? He wouldn't even know there indeed was a storm. He will be especially good at 'Dropping' food packets for people stranded in flood hit areas. Who better to 'Drop' ? 

Rizwan Cheema: What do you expect him to make ? Lance Cairns, Ijaz Ahmed and Eddo Brandes; we have seen them all. And now we have seen Cheema. Never been there as graceful and as artistic a butcher of the Cricket ball before !

Piyush Chawla: Though he is terribly young to retire, I am quite inclined to retire him all the same. He can make a life out of playing the 'side kick' to the Hero in Bollywood movies.  He is chubby and cute, so little girls will love him. He plays the side kick role to perfection to Dhoni the Master. And he can knock a few small time punches thanks to the 'confidence' instilled by his Boss. 

Yusuf Pathan: Since he doesn't analyze the game much, he is unlikely to be a Coach or a Commentator. For quite some time now, he has threatened to send the ball to the orbit. Hence he should join ISRO after he retires. He might actually be able to launch satellites by just whacking them. We can make huge savings on fuel.

Yardy, Strauss, Ponting, Sehwag, Gayle, Price, Dilshan, O'Brien and name whom you want, we have an alternative career after retirement. IPL oops, IPR application pending.

All rights reserved by: "Doctoring the Balls" !!!


SPun Doctor

Tie is a Tie is a Tie !

Tie is a Tie is a match that's Tied,
Don't know how many have died !
Zaheer ran one and a three quarter,
Never seen anyone half smarter !

Dedicated to the Great Indian Bowling Team that made this result possible !

Give them a total in excess of 350 and they will manage to scrap through.

Give them a total in excess of 330 and they will manage a Tie.

Give them a total of par 300 and the Captain can blame the batsmen.

England's batsmen from 7 to 10 made 48 runs of 30 balls between them belting 3 sixes.
India's 7 to 10 made 14 runs from 14 balls and still managed to run one short.

The way Indian lower order batted and ran was plain disappointing. When the Umpire signaled Zaheer Khan as short as he ran himself out like a blind mouse, I had told my Cricket crazy Mom that 'This Run" might well become the difference in the end. Am I the New Cricket Prophet ?

But Dhoni's decision to bowl Piyush Chawla in the 49th over, was Stupid. A bowler would be able to fire down flat would have done a better job. Sehwag, Pathan or even Yuveraj should have been the choice.

Munaf Patel's last over proves once again why he is a liability when it comes to death bowling. For once, I missed Nehra.

In spite of all this, if this match ended up as a Tie, England's fielding has to be blamed. They were far below their normal standards. Are they experimenting with KP as opener at the wrong time ?

The final Analysis:

In the end, Tie is a fair result only because neither of them deserved to Win !




SPun Doctor