The Aussie Annihilation: A Lazy Analysis !

Returning to "Doctoring the Balls" after the longest hiatus of almost half an year. It wasn't as if I was too occupied or had lost interest. It was just that I was lazy to compile a blog-post and was satisfied with short comments on the Social Media. Here I am just compiling some of them together; my take on the Annihilation of Aussies !

Chennai:

India's Opening pair reminds me so much of "Sholay". We have a Viru and a Vi-Jay and then there is a Coin Toss Dhoni NEVER wins !

Exasperated with the Aussie tail bothering our bowlers, Bhajji has declared, "India should ban wickets 8 / 9 / 10 or take them at the beginning of the innings !"

The Chennai pitch where India scored 572 and their last 3 wickets added 200 in less than 50 overs is a bonafide dodgy subcontinental minefield of a track not suitable for Test Cricket !

Question: What did Nathan tell Sachin Tendulkar that upset his rhythm before his fall ?
Answer: Saaraa shehar humen Lyon ke naam se jaanta hai !

Virat is now definitely ready to carry the burden of nation. Well deserved century ! 

 

Jadeja getting so much turn and 3 wickets on day-1 of a test means just one thing. This test might end before lunch on day-4, if not earlier !

 

Hyderabad:

 

The theme at Hyderabad was: Kai Po CHE ! 

 

Clarke survived a very close LBW of Jadeja. So Jaddu boy decided to take the law into his own hands and bowled him now ! 

 

Clarke gambled by declaring with 1 wicket still left. But Dhoni is a Master of the Gamble: He sent 2 Night Watchmen to Open !

 

Shane Watson's wife gives birth to their first child. Likely to be named Powerpoint Presentation-1 ! 

 

Michael Clarke will get out in all possible ways to Jadeja before the end of this series !

 

Ravindra jadeja should be immediately appointed Honorary Manager of all Government offices. He knows how handle Clarkes !

 

Cheteshwar Pujara and Murali Vijay have beaten Australia by an innings at Hyderabad !

 

Of the 4 suspended Australian players, only one is a Man [Usman]. Rest all are Sons [Watson, Pattinson, Johnson] !

 

If coach were to ask Bhajji to make a presentation, he'd've given him a glittering 'gift wrapped' "Presentation !" 

 

Haddin going to India: He is expected to Wade through troubled waters !

 

Mohali:

 

India's Population Control Board must hire M S Dhoni's services. He can eliminate many with his ways at the crease during tight chases !

 

Mickey Arthur has ordered Phil Hughes to buy a Pup or Dog that can eat his homework before the second innings !

 

Rajeev Shukla was quoted as, "Shikar Dhawan is the best thing to have happened to Indian Cricket since Rahul Gandhi !"

 

Inspired from the famous Bachchan dialoguie from "Sharaabi": "Mooche Ho to ho Shikhar Dhawan jaisi, Nahin to naa ho !"

The Hundred Man and the Twirling Mustache

End of the road for the Viru-Gauty ? Too early to write them off but Dhawan, Vijay success means a happy Dhoni sans the Delhi-Bully gang !

 

Delhi:
 

Dhoni has won everything in this series except toss !

 

Jadeja will get two wickets lesser in Delhi test thanks to Clarke !

 

Jadeja can't give up on Australian Captains. Clarke nahin toh Watson sahi !

 

Jadeja completes an over in the time that Ishant takes to push back his hair into place !

 

Will Ojha spend 1 year on 99 ala Tendulkar ?

 

We soon might have ads like "This ball of the over sponsored by...blah blah" on NEO Prime TV !

 

I wonder why they didn't send Ajinkya Rahane to open. He has enough experience opening; the drinks bottles !

 

Indian middle order is like our bureaucracy. They sit in AC and order around. We people know they won't but we still expect them to deliver the goods !

  

Australia missed Clarke the bowler than the batsman. Jadeja too missed him, but the batsman !

 

Australia Captain Clarke has ''Declared'' they can take pride over the fact that India couldn't bowl them out 8 times in the series !

No more performance related worries for Mrs. Che Pujara !

Che Pujara's wife is totally satisfied and extremely happy with his performance !

 

SPun Doctor Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Generous Dhoni, Talented Rohit and the Lesser Mortals !

One Day International Matches: 21, 10, 33, 15, 0, 4, 68, 5, 0, 0, 4, 4
T-20 International Matches: 0, 4*, 1*, 55*, 1

These are Rohit Sharma's returns from International matches in 2012. He averages overall 17 runs per dismissal. In T-20, it is 30.5 thanks to a 55 not out but in ODI Cricket, it is a pathetic 14 runs.

Manoj Tiwari has scored a hundred and a 65 in the 8 matches he has got to play. He has a 4 wicket haul in the only match he failed with the bat in 2012. In that match, he made 21 which was 8 more than the total number of runs Rohit Sharma scored in the entire series.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is obviously a generous man. His selectors have been more generous than that. He gives chance after chance to Rohit in the name of promise and talent. One or two failures and Yusuf Pathan gets thrown out. Forget Yusuf, Manoj Tiwari today, is the MOST WRONGED man in Indian Cricket.

For Dhoni, Rohit Sharma with 225 runs in 17 innings in 2012 is more important to the team than Virendar Sehwag who scored 219 runs in just one ODI innings in December 2011. In spite of all the attitude issues and ego clashes, preferring Rohit over Viru is criminal to put it mildly.

But even if Sehwag gets omitted on form, doesn't that rule apply to Rohit too ? Why different yardsticks for Rohit, Viru and Tiwari ?

We have seen how Piyush Chawla and Ravindra Jadeja have managed to sneak into the team in spite of continued non-performance. One success and he tends to keep them forever and just a couple of below par show and the lesser mortals get the 'axe effect'

But what is insidious and more evil is the way Dhoni is gradually demolishing Irfan Pathan. He somehow has a serious dislike for the name Pathan. After completely demolishing Yusuf Pathan, he has now taken up the job to finish off the half brother.

If he has so much faith in Rohit Sharma, why not send Rohit to open ? He is a top order batsman and has opened before. Why make Irfan a sacrificial lamb again ? Indian Cricket fans haven't forgotten how Greg Chappelle demolished Irfan by making him do too many things.

Irfan is NOT Shane Watson. He is a bowling All-rounder. He has won some crucial matches batting at 7 or 8. By forcing him to open, Dhoni is killing him again. Irfan doesn't know what is expected of him.

Mr. Dhoni, for the sake of the millions of fans who adulate your team, please stop this game of politics and ego. Your ego trip with Viru is YOUR problem. Stop destroying a precious talent who has found some kind of confidence after a long hiatus !

And can we hope for a reply for a set of questions ?

How many matches will Rohit get to play on much publicized talent after scoring just one 50 ?
How many matches will Tiwari get to warm the benches after every successful performance ?

Knowing you, Mr. Dhoni, we don't expect an answer. You have become the Dictator and you will end up demolishing this team. Unfortunate !


SPun Doctor

Badla: Revenge Only Half Done !

Cricket is inseparable from Indian culture. It runs in our arteries and Cricket bridges the gap between the nerves. Even when our national team is doing badly, we bide our time for that one moment that can turn things around. This optimism keeps us alive and helps us to forget and forgive Kalmadis, Rajas, Yeddis and a thousand scams. Here are some of the trivia from the "Badla" series !

Though Dhoni has brushed aside the talk of this being the "Badla" or "Pay Back" or "Revenge" series, there was steel in the Indian camp's determination. They were thrashed in the Test Series and their luck crashed during the ODIs. But home pitches, a fitter team and a lame duck English side helped in achieving this complete reversal of fortunes.

Back from 'Hell' and back in the hunt is how we can describe Dhoni and his boys today, while we dedicate a song to the the visiting English team.

The youth brigade has turned the hunter into the hunted and India remains 'Haunted' for the World No. 1 Test Team !

Just One Day Match: On the flip side though, England hold an unenviable record of winning just one 'One Day match' against India in India in the recent past. That takes a little bit of sheen from an otherwise fabulous show by the young side. 

The turning point: The British did hold the advantage during the first 35 overs of the series. It was the determination shown by the much maligned Captain Dhoni finally sank the ship of Captain Cook and his motley bunch of  over-aggressive crew. 

Media Complex: Somehow, our print and visual media alike are stuck in a strange kind of inferiority complex. Team India bat well, bowl well and filed well in home conditions; we are flat track bullies and tigers at home. Other teams come cropper in India; our pitches are to be blamed. Our players can't play on good pitches. Funnily, India have lost just one test series since the controversial 2008 tour down under. 

The barking Poms: On filed behavior of the English team has been pathetic at best. Andy Flower has been unapologetic about it. That team which wanted India to call Bell back, has not shown an iota of sporting gesture in return; neither in England nor in India. From Indian point of view, it should be fine. It gives more pleasure to bash an arrogant opponent than a down to earth one. But the average Indian is just a little curious to know how the British crowd, which booed Team India for the Bell run out would react to their own unsporting players. 

The plight of Kohli: Virat Kohli has impressed one and all with the maturity he has shown in ODI Cricket. But soon after his century on his home-ground, a tweetable tweet went thus: "Well played Kohli, that was sexy. But remember Dude, you aren't even the second best batsman in your own town". That is a Classic way of saluting the Champion Opening pair of Gautam Gambhir and Viru the Sehwag ! 

India B Plus: Tendulkar, Sehwag, Yuveraj, Zaheer Khan, Harbhajan, Nehra, Munaf, Rohit, Sreesanth, Ishant, Pathan, Badrinath and Murali Vijay missing from the 14 member team means England are playing at best India B Plus team, not even India A. 

Suspended Animation: This thumping win against a team that had mauled team India just a month ago has forced the Indian fans to keep in suspended animation, the lingering thought of the Century number 100 of a certain Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. 

Taken for granted: The fatigue to too much of Cricket showed in the thing attendance during the final two matches. Or was it because the crowd took the 'White wash' with Indian Blue for granted ? 

Mother of all collapses: England just wanted to get out of here, quite like Dhoni and his boys wanted to leave the Old Blighty only a few weeks ago. 129 without loss to 176 all out doesn't need much elaboration. This was the mother, grandmother and even great grand aunt of all collapses ! 

Ra1 Factor: Going through a promotional overdrive for his latest Sci-Fi movie Ra-1, Shah Rukha Khan somehow forgot to show up during the post match presentation. Neither at Mumbai, his adopted home not at Kolkotta home to his KKR team. Surprising ! 

Return of the Jade-ja

His Highness Ravindra Singh Jadeja has been best remembered for his T-20 World Cup flop shows so far. Given a lifeline by Dhoni's fondness and his equal dislike for Yusuf Pathan, Jadeja has grabbed his chances and done brilliantly during the series. His fielding has always been good. He is a decent fifth bowler in ODI Cricket. But this time, he batted well in given chances and has earned his place in the team to Australia. 

Pace the Music: Umesh Yadav and Varun Aron generating pace was music to the Indian ears. But we ought to be careful because Ishant, Munaf and many more began their careers as raw energy pacers only to be either sidelined by injuries or turn into line and length trundlers. The motto should be "Don't Hype them till they are Ripe" ! 

Positive for the Poms: Samit Patel and Steve Finn were the only positives for the English side. World's best spinner was taken to cleaners and he couldn't hold on to the ball. They too missed Anderson, Broad, Strauss and the lack of experience showed !

Ab Dhoni ko kaun taal sakta hai ?

They just couldn't get him out throughout the series. He played the waiting game, the blasting game, nudges and edges, helicopter shot and his trademark bludgeoning drives. Leading from the front was redefined !

Finally it was a fair and square blue wash for the Poms with Brand India Bleeding Blue ! Happy Diwali to all Indians !

The Poms will come back next year for the Test Series. They are way too far better a Test Team than their ODI credentials. A wash in white flannels is what a 'Real White Wash' constitutes. Can Dhoni and Co achieve that ?




SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Time to Test the Bench in the Caribbean !

IPL has thrown up some surprises. Some players whom I have disliked all along have done well. Some whom I have hyped up haven't. And some whom I have waited for have done well too. And thankfully, the new teams aren't door mats. Let us take a look at Indian players @ IPL 2011 chapter.

Of the lesser known faces, Abu Nechim looked good when he got a chance. Ambati Rayudu has been fantastic. Paul Valthaty is Revelation and Revolution put together. He is the 'Item Number' of IPL-4. Harmeet Singh Bansal got slower but also got Sehwag. Vinay Kumar has never looked better.

Bharat Chipli is another surprise package. Venugopal Rao is a blooming, but perhaps a tad too late for a total recall. Dinesh Karthik is not the same Boss DK he was a year ago. Abhishek Nayar too has slipped down the ladder.

Murali Vijay and Badrinath have played well, but nothing exceptional. Shikar Dhawan has been a total disaster. Naman Ojha is missing Warne. Che Pujara hasn't got the chances to bat higher. Saurabh Tiwari has been too tame. Anirudha Srikkanth has shown more maturity than his father.

Dravid and Laxman have batted well, but ! Mohammed Kaif hasn't got a look in. Akash Chopra is a very good blogger today. Wridhiman Saha is in a team whose Captain's name is M. S. Dhoni. Ajit Agarkar will retire after this season.

Dinda has bowled no-balls and bad balls and wants to believe he is India's answer to Malinga. That he is NOT. Irfan Pathan has done precious little. Jakati is not the same bowler he was in IPL-2010. Gony is more of agony and Sreesanth is Freesanth.

Murali Karthik is toiling gamely, but selectors are not looking back. Sidharth Trivedi has blown hot and blown cold. Abhimanyu Mithun has been blown away. Umesh yadav wants to play tests. But where is he ? Why aren't Rajastan trying Deepak Chahar ? And where is Kamran Khan ?

Sarabjit Ladda looks good and then looks bad. What is Asad Pathan ? A Bowler who can bat or a Batsman who can bowl ? Too many Pathans, too little Pathaning !

Rohit Sharma is maintaining the Legend of Rohit Sharma. I watched live, Raveendra Jadeja slam two huge sixes against CSK. Robin Uthappa has played his customary big shots. Balaji looks fabulous with slower ones but perhaps Vinay Kumar is a better package.

Yusuf Pathan has bowled better and flattered to deceive with the bat. Thankfully Piyush Chawla will not be in contention; Jadeja demolished him. Pragyan Ojha looks pale and Amit Mishra just about hale.

Manoj Tiwari has missed out on scaling the next level twice this time. Good, yet not as good as say, Rayudu, Valthaty or Uthappa. Everyone is busy talking about Poonam Pandey. Does anyone remember the first Indian to score an IPL century ?

Manish Pandey

Sehwag should have had shoulder surgery NOW. He is MESSING up the IPL and will be MISSING the West Indies and England tours. Too bad. Sachin is Sachin, Thank You Sachin.

Yuvi the Captain isn't as great as Yuvi the match winner. Bhajji is looking as ordinary as he has been for past 3 years. Zaheer needs rest. Gambhir can make an ordinary team with Kallis, Lee, Morgan, Shakib, Yusuf and Gambhir.

It is believed Dhoni, Sachin, Sehwag, Bhajji and Zaheer would like to be rested. Nehra is yet to recover from injury. Will he be ready for the West Indies ?

Though Dhoni has maintained that IPL should not be the criteria for India selection, we can't altogether ignore the greatest Glicket show on earth.

So here is my ODI Team for the West Indies Tour ! This is open for updating as the IPL progresses.

1] Gautam Gambhir [Captain - He should OPEN or should not play]
2] Paul Valthaty [Why not ? It is time to see if he is good at the next level]
3] Virat Kohli [Obvious choice. There isn't a better No. 3 right now]
4] Yuveraj Singh [Rested enough and rusted enough. He needs to be playing]
5] Suresh Raina [He too has to be there too]
6] Robin Uthappa [He deserves a chance. Second Wicket Keeper]
7] Yusuf Pathan [Poor IPL batting form. But he deserves at least 1 full series]
8] Parthiv Patel [The Wicket Keeper. Has batted usefully]
9] Ishant Sharma [He has been good so far. He is Future !]
10] Munaf Patel [In spite of my dislike, he is in because he is IN]
11] Ravindra Jadeja [Well, he has come back in a BIG way]
12] R. Ashwin [He is our strongest Spinner in shorter formats]
13] R. P. Singh [Scratchy. But a little support and he can be R. P. Swing !]
14] Vinay Kumar [Absolute guts and hard work. Deserves to be there]
15] Ashish Nehra / Praveen Kumar [One of them needed for the experience]

Unless someone from this list plays really badly or someone else plays really exceptionally, this could be the team. Rayudu, Rohit, Balaji  and Vijay can consider themselves unlucky to miss the flight. But then we have a pretty good Bench Strength. We can afford to waste a few talents. Even Greg Chappell believes so !




SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/