Thursday, June 17, 2010

Why am I not watching Soccer or Cricket?

The Soccer Fever is spreading thick and fast. In fact faster than the Viral Fever all over the world. Even people with Soccer fever bluff at office and feign Viral Fever to watch the 'Cup'.

Meanwhile in the Southern part of our Subcontinent, another 'Cup' is being played. This though has much lesser takers and appears to be a damp squib. The impending monsoon might complete the dampness towards the closing stages!

But I am watching neither 'This Cup', nor 'That Cup'. I have better things to do ! Why am I not watching Soccer and Cricket?  There are as usual 5 reasons! I always love to give 5 reasons. Any lesser is a such a shame and any more can be conveniently branded as 'Sundries' !

1] To be honest, I don't understand Football. I am always surprised why whole press and generally the entire public is going gaga over someone called 'Messy' and another one called something like 'Wain Loony'. Then there are more than one Ronaldos and even Ronaldinhos! They all look the same to me. I can recognize only two footballers. Pele and Maradona, only because they are fighting like Mohammad Yusuf and Yunis Khan!

2] I can't be a 'Surrogate Fan' to some South American Team with players I can never distinguish between, howsoever distinguished they might be with their skills. In Cricket, only Zimbabwe boast of unpronounceable names. In Soccer, you'll need to sit and memorize the names of almost all the players of most of the teams. By the time you've managed to remember all names, the next World Cup will begin and you go right back to start memorizing again. Not my Cup again!

3] I am a Cricket and Tennis guy. But watching any shorter version of Cricket played in the subcontinent is quite like watching Ekta Kapoor's serials. This is especially so with India - Sri Lanka Cricket. They all have same stories, same costumes, same settings, same villains and same vamps. To top it all, just like Ekta's characters change faces with plastic surgery after every 34 episodes, there is the ball change in Cricket after 34 overs!

 4] The Neo Cricket Telecast this time is such a lousy affair. They don't have Mandira Bedi. Preity Zinta, Shilpa Shetty and Deepika are missing. Roshni Chopra is in some remote village doing Mehendi to some 'Desi Girl'. Not even a single presentable face. All we have is a grim looking Moron speculating and hissing about Bangladesh batting collapse as if the BSE Sensex has crashed. And Venkatesh Prasad looks equally sad while he bares his 'fangs' without a ball in his hand. This is not Cricket! Not at all. In fact, there should be no Cricket played at all without Mandira Bedi.

5] Will he or will he not? Like it or not, I am waiting for Roger Federer to prove doomsayers wrong and lift the Wimbledon crown again. And it will be a fitting finale if he gets the better of Rafa in the final! This is where my heart is right now, and I am waiting!

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