Before the Cup; My Gifts to Team India !

The Cricket World Cup is around. The excitement is building up. I can never support any other team but Team India till they are knocked out. Right now I am optimistic in spite of all the negative talk and Piyush Chawla.

If they win, Team India will face a deluge of awards. If they lose, some of them might have to apply for Police protection to their person and properties. Cricket Crazy Indians, we all are !

But even if they don't win, I adore Team India including Piyush Chawla. Hope they win and win a lot of awards, prizes and contracts.

I am a middle class blogger and can't afford to reward them big. But I would like to give one gift each to every member of Team India. Howsoever trivial they might appear, I love to give them even before they play their first match at Mirpur against their 2007 nemesis.

So here are my gifts to Team India... 

1] Sachin Tendulkar: Kapil Dev said Sachin will not retire without a World Cup. If this one eludes him, it is unlikely that he can win in 2015. So I very humbly would like to gift him a miniature World Cup trophy. If India win, great. If they don't, let him keep it as a consolation prize. 

2] Virendar Sehwag: A sustained release icepack fitted into the helmet. He will need it to keep his cool. Viru is vital for India's fortunes. If Sehwagging continues throughout the tourney, the Cup cometh home. 

3] Gautam Gambhir: A tongue depressor; used in the Doctor's clinic to keep the tongue down. Gauty's bat starts to falter when his tongue takes over. He has already put an enormous burden on the team by saying this is our best chance. I remember 1987. 

4] Yuveraj Singh: No, not Revital. He is already on that. A DVD of his altercation with Andrew Flintoff and the aftermath is what he needs. The difference between the Cup and the Slip for India will be, the form of Yuvi; literally and figuratively ! 

5] Virat Kohli: Tee-shirt with "Attitude, wear it on your gloves". He might be benched initially, but should not be disappointed. The Dude with attitude needs to keep his head during the Cup. 

6] Mahendra Singh Dhoni: A miniature Helicopter. He needs to be reminded of the 'shot'. Not only in Pepsi ads, he needs to play them on the field. 

7] Yusuf Pathan: A complete Gillette Mach-3 shaving system with accessories. He needs to be told it isn't the beard that is responsible for his runs. Clean shaven guys and even his former Rajastan Royals buddy Shane Watson are scoring runs; without a beard. If the beard were to bring luck, all the Mullahs would have won the Cup for Afghanistan. 

8] Suresh Raina: The CSK jersey. He somehow becomes a transformed man in that outfit. Send him in Indian colors with CSK jersey underneath. He will have added protection against the 'short ball'. 

9] Harbhajan Singh: A wrist band with 'No. 1' inscribed. Forget 'Doosra'. Bhajji needs to get is 'Pehla' going on Indian pitches. How else can we stem the runs in the middle overs. He will have to bowl on those 'national highways'.

10] Zaheer Khan: A "Taweez' to keep him free of injuries during the whole tourney. Though I don't believe in them, I've heard Cricketers are a superstitious lot. It might just keep him happy. If any bowler can win it for India, Khan can.

11] Ashish Nehra: An old fashioned foot-role. He needs to keep them straight and not on the leg-stump.

12] Munaf Patel: A Roller-skates set. He needs to run on the field, not walk in the park. 

13] Ravichandran Ashwin: A Bench. He will have to warm it all through the Cup, unless Bhajji gets injured or badly mauled in initial stages. 

14] Praveen Kumar: A mechanical Swing. He needs to do just that with the new ball and with the old ball. Lest him go the Ajit Agarkar way. 

15] Piyush Chawla: He already has got one in the form of a berth in the squad. Anymore pampering will be injustice to Amit Mishra and Pragyan Ojha.

And finally... 

Gary Kirsten: Not me, only Team India can give him a parting gift. The Prize will be the only befitting gift to his Priceless contribution to Team India. Hope they do it for the First and the Last man in my list; they deserve it !






S-Pun Doctor

Neighbor's Envy, Owner's Pride ?

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Neighbor's Envy ? Yes

Owner's Pride ? Unfortunately Not !

India's World Cup Team has been announced. Some surprises never manage to surprise us. We know there will be surprises. We just have get ready to be surprised. Remember Sunil Valsan ? He has a distinction which even Sachin Tendulkar doesn't have. He was part of a World Cup winning team.

On every tour, we should carry a reservation candidate. Right now, Saha is the one in South Africa. Piyush Chawla it will be, for the WC-11. The OBC perhaps. How did he manage to get in there is a question only Srikkanth and Co will be able to answer.

Why does Sreesanth find himself out of favor and perpetually unfit and of late profligate Nehra retain his place is a big surprise too. No one grudges Munaf Patel's selection, but this team has at least 5 men in the 'wounded soldiers' list. Sachin, Sehwag, Gambhir, Praveen and Zaheer are the names. Do we have worthy replacements ? What will happen if 3 or 4 or all of them fail to recover ?

With Dhoni having more faith in any Tom, Dick and Harry compared to Pathan, it won't be a surprise if they go for 5 bowlers scheme of things. That should give some hope for Chawla. Else, he will not be playing a single match during the Cup.

As I was wondering over the selection issues, I was tickled by THIS ! Howsoever stupid might be their Head Butt; Pakistan Cricket is a marvel to be marveled about. They have demolished New Zealand in New Zealand, within a month of the Kiwis' tour of India where the fancied Indians were made to sweat and grind on home soil.

This is practically Half-B Team of Pakistan. Yunis Khan, Misbah ul Haq and Umar Gul are the only players from the possible best Pakistan -11 playing here. In spite of that, they have crushed the Kiwis in the first test and done so quite handsomely. Coming to second test, Pakistan are on the verge of a series win; their first since 2006.

We are talking about Australia missing their greats and how they are suffering. We also see how South Africa miss Kallis and India miss their 'Stars' every time they lose. Murali-less Sri Lanka become tooth-less Tigers. Pakistan are playing without almost entire team thanks to several problems and Ejaz Butt. But they still can win.

I salute the 'Spirit of Pakistan Cricket' ! And also the ever enthusing talent pool ! If only they had a proper system, they would have been the team to beat. Why doesn't someone bump off the Butt and some more of those Mismanagers of PCB ? They have so much talent at their disposal even for this job ! After all Butt is a Blasphemy on Cricket !

Still, in spite of all their problems; for me, Pakistan will be the dark-horses for WC-2011 !




S-Pun Doctor

Square and Fair : InSaf Well and Truly Done !

Square and Fair : InSaf Well and Truly Done !

A Progress Report of India - South Africa Series

South Africa -1 India - 1 in 3 Test Series. Twice in less than a year ! Home and Away for both teams. 

InSaf well and truly done ! 

Finally if we look at the whole series...

South Africa scored 1669 runs losing 44 wickets with an average of 37.93

India scored 1558 runs losing 53 wickets with an average of 29.40

South Africa scored quicker, bigger and won their win by an Innings at Centurion.
Team India scored slower, smaller and managed to Square at Durban by 87 runs.

So why do I say InSaf was done ?
Let us take a look at Player Report cards.

Team India Report Card

Zaheer: He is India's Champion bowler and did 'InSaf' to his billing and the faith his team had in him. Never forget the Durban second innings partnership with VVS.
Rating: 8.5 / 10

Sachin: India's best player in the series contributed very little when they won. Still played a major role and continues to rule.
Rating: 8.5 / 10 

Laxman: Whenever India win, this Man has to be around. Centurion was a disaster. But I will remember his knock on final day at Capetown because only 'He' played Cricket. All others batted to kill 'Test Cricket'.
Rating: 7.5 / 10 

Gambhir: Proved me wrong. Has stronger character than his more famous partner in crime. Overcame his 'Short-coming' with real guts. Forget averages, he was one of the main reasons the series ended 1-1.
Rating: 7.5 / 10 

Bhajji: Return of the prodigal. For all the panning, he has bounced back as a bowler in this series. Batted well when mattered.
Rating: 7 / 10

Dhoni: Another feather in the crown for Captain Cool who has not yet lost a Test Series. Batted perhaps his best in a long time; especially the first 50 runs at Centurion is why Dhoni is Dhoni.
Rating: 6.5 / 10 

Sreesanth: Lackluster at Centurion, he was real hot after that. Deserves all accolades for the Smith and Kallis dismissals at Durban. Make no mistakes, curb his aggression and you lose a wicket taking bowler.
Rating: 6 / 10 

Pujara: Again forget runs and averages. Che is much better than his returns. Persist with him. And when was the last time we saw a run-out like that of Tsostobe at Durban ?
Rating: 4.5 / 10

Ishant: Was steady after Centurion debacle. But could have been better.
Rating: 4 / 10

Vijay: Got to play in the most difficult match. Deserves better for his grit. Better than Raina on any day in Test Cricket.
Rating: 3.5 / 10

Sehwag: Disappointing. Threw his wicket away almost all the time. Centurion would have been different if he had not played 2 out of 2 bad shots. His cameo at Durban second innings was worth much more than those runs. But playing like Dravid at Capetown was unpardonable.
Rating: 2 / 10 

Dravid: Collingwood gone. Did he talk to RD before that ? For me, Dravid is a stumbling block for Team India. Sorry Great Man, but your time is long over.
Rating: 2 / 10

Raina: Save the future India Captain. Tigers can wait. He needs a break and a shoulder and some gumption. If Gambhir can, so can Raina.
Rating: 1 / 10

South Africa Report Card

1] Kallis: He was all over the place except when Sreesanth bounced him with a beast. The Player of the series deserving.
Rating: 9 / 10 

2] Steyn: Easily the best bowler in the world today. Couldn't have bowled more or better without risking breakdown. Practically it was series between Steyn and India.
Rating: 9 / 10

3] Boucher: Turned the Capetown test around with his aggression in second innings. He is a top performer in tough situations.
Rating: 6 / 10

4] Amla: The hometown jinx continues to haunt. Made merry at Centurion, but was just okay after that. Still the man in form. But failed at crucial times.
Rating: 5 / 10

5] de Villiers: Future Saf Captain dominated when his team was on top. Bad decisions included, he could not raise the bar when India started bowling better.
Rating: 4.5 / 10

6] Tsotsobe: Troubled Tendulkar. Was unlucky often. Took a stunning catch and was mostly ordinary.
Rating: 3.5 / 10

7] Smith: With or without Zaheer, India mostly have got better of Saf Captain. Except for the first test, he was ordinary, and just better than Sehwag. Lost out to Sreesanth and then went wimp.
Rating: 3 / 10

8] Morkel: Bowling in really helpful and familiar conditions, he was not very impressive except for the fag end. Anyone would've picked up wickets at Centurion day-1. Ishant was better.
Rating: 3 / 10

9] Prince: Was patchy, but better than Petersen. More a Pauper than a Prince. Would find it tough to make it into a decent batting line up except Saf.
Rating: 3 / 10

10] Petersen: Was worse than his partner after the Centurion. The Saf openers were the reason for India's come back. Thanks both you guys !
Rating: 2.5 / 10

11] Harris: Was ordinary but for some good balls. India perhaps have exorcised the left arm spin ghost.
Rating: 2.5 / 10

Look at the individual ratings.
India had more players performing above 5 / 10 than South Africa.
For Saffers, it was all about Kallis and Steyn with all others making special appearances Post-Centurion.
For India, Zaheer, Sachin, Laxman, Sreesanth, Bhajji, Dhoni and Gambhir did the Star Turn at different stages.

Average rating point for India: 5.27
Average rating point for Saf: 4.63

The final result was Square and Fair !

S-Pun Doctor

A Special dedication to Aussies !

The Ashes going on down under is coming to a climax on Friday 7 January 2011. England have retained the urn. But will they do it in style by 'Thrashes" ? One man holds the key.

Whole of this series, the Aussies have been hearing and seeing just one thing, rather one man ! And he seldom talks  !

The baby faced Alistair has Cooked the Aussie goose true and proper. He was expected to score just 280 runs in the whole series. He did more than that in the first test itself. And now he seems to be in a mood to repeat the feat in the last test too.

So here is a 'Special dedication' to Ricky Ponting and his Team in true Indian and true Subhash Ghai style !

Listen to the Chorus Girls ! They seem to taunt the Aussies...

Cook Cook Cook Cook Cook Cook !




S-Pun Doctor