Cricket is a Craze as well as a Passion in India. In fact it is a Religion in itself for us! Nothing enthuses and unites people like this game! This is my attempt to organize my thoughts about the game I have come to love ever since I remember. The view point of a Doctor who loves to Live, Love and Laugh!
Cricket is a strange game where amusing things keep happening. So it is neigh say impossible to remain away from Cricket for long; even when India play Sri Lanka in a 21 match bilateral ODI series soon after the IPL. So much fun on the run and how could SPun Doctor miss all the pun ?
So here is my 11 for the week that was or almost.
1] Run Gauty Run: First of all Gautam's running between wickets has become a Gambhir problem for India. Every time he sets out for a run, he seems to run out of ideas. He needs to contact Abhishek Bachchan immediately to get an idea. GG is just 2G he needs to upgrade to "What an !dea 3G"
2] Limited Sehwagging: Virendar Sehwag probably needs to be reminded of a Test match being played over 5 days and not 20 overs. He last played competitive Cricket for Delhi Daredevils and since then hasn't seen the 21st over yet. He also has become the most stumped player of all times.
3] No Es-Cape Town: South Africa and Australia collectively lost 20 wickets for 143 runs at one stage during the first test in mildly testing conditions at Cape Town. Australian collapse looked more like West Indian. And short little Raina and other Indian batsmen are supposed to be weak against pace and short pitched bowling.
4] Taylor for the minnows: Zimbabwe on the other hand have shown tremendous guts in their come back to test Cricket. The last day of the Bulawayo test was a great day for Test Cricket in spite of the fact that the underdog lost. It was a Taylor made chase till Brendon lasted. All stitches fell off after his fall.
Taylor made Captain's knock !
5] Capital Punishment: India have been quite benevolent all these years allowing the likes of Ajmal Kasab and Afzal Guru to live luxuriously at our expenditure and going on postponing the gallows. But for once, Team India escaped from Capital punishment at the national Capital thanks to meek capitulation by West Indies and some special bowling by Ravichandran Ashwin. Conceding 95 runs on first innings against stronger teams would have meant a fifth straight test defeat for Dhoni and Co.
6] Royal British Certificate of Merit: We the Indians somehow need the British to certify our products and prodigies even six decades after they left the shores. It was the Surrey Manager Chris Adams' certificate that gave Ojha a new lifeline and he has done well to hang on. But has the hangman's noose fallen elsewhere on a certain Turbanator's career ?
7] Complete Retirement Plans: Shahid Afridi has made a awesome welcome back to international Cricket at the tender yet ripe age of 25. When he decides to retire this time, he promises to retire completely ! And until he retires completely, we should not consider his retirement as full and final. We hope he will join Mohammed Yusuf in the retirement home once he does so finally. Or will he ?
8] Down with the Count Down: Sachinists all over India, abroad and on the Mars should remember one thing. He has managed to score the hundredth run ninety nine times in the past two decades. He can as well do it the hundredth time sooner than later. But to do so, he needs to score those ninety nine runs first. At least keep peace till he enters nineties. So can we please relax and let him relax too ? And for TENdulkar's sake, can we begin the count down from Ten rather than Hundred ?
9] Spots Fixed Butt there still is an appeal: While the Pakistani troika of Butt, Asif and Amer have been fixed to their spots in the UK prison by stringent laws, Pakistan have steamrolled a much stronger on paper Sri Lanka in their home series being played abroad. Pakistan Cricket never runs out of surprises, while the shamed trio is busy making a different kind of appeal !
10] Cricket Bravery award of the year: Siddle and Lyon for saving
Aussies from the ignominy of equaling the lowest ever score in a Test
innings and also for more than doubling the score from where they came
together. So shocked were the South Africans by the Australian batting
display that even Morkel failed bowl a single no ball or a wide ball.
11] A Cricket Trivia question: How many times has a number 11 batsman top scored for his team in a Test innings ? Australia achieved the distinction at Cape Town. While the former greats lose sleep, the haloed Baggy Green ain't green no more !
With a lot more Cricket coming up, SPun Doctor hopes to 'come back' with more pun on the run. That honestly doesn't mean retirement and come back.
Cricket is inseparable from Indian culture. It runs in our arteries and Cricket bridges the gap between the nerves. Even when our national team is doing badly, we bide our time for that one moment that can turn things around. This optimism keeps us alive and helps us to forget and forgive Kalmadis, Rajas, Yeddis and a thousand scams. Here are some of the trivia from the "Badla" series !
Though Dhoni has brushed aside the talk of this being the "Badla" or "Pay Back" or "Revenge" series, there was steel in the Indian camp's determination. They were thrashed in the Test Series and their luck crashed during the ODIs. But home pitches, a fitter team and a lame duck English side helped in achieving this complete reversal of fortunes.
Back from 'Hell' and back in the hunt is how we can describe Dhoni and his boys today, while we dedicate a song to the the visiting English team.
The youth brigade has turned the hunter into the hunted and India remains 'Haunted' for the World No. 1 Test Team !
Just One Day Match: On the flip side though, England hold an unenviable record of winning just one 'One Day match' against India in India in the recent past. That takes a little bit of sheen from an otherwise fabulous show by the young side.
The turning point: The British did hold the advantage during the first 35 overs of the series. It was the determination shown by the much maligned Captain Dhoni finally sank the ship of Captain Cook and his motley bunch of over-aggressive crew.
Media Complex: Somehow, our print and visual media alike are stuck in a strange kind of inferiority complex. Team India bat well, bowl well and filed well in home conditions; we are flat track bullies and tigers at home. Other teams come cropper in India; our pitches are to be blamed. Our players can't play on good pitches. Funnily, India have lost just one test series since the controversial 2008 tour down under.
The barking Poms: On filed behavior of the English team has been pathetic at best. Andy Flower has been unapologetic about it. That team which wanted India to call Bell back, has not shown an iota of sporting gesture in return; neither in England nor in India. From Indian point of view, it should be fine. It gives more pleasure to bash an arrogant opponent than a down to earth one. But the average Indian is just a little curious to know how the British crowd, which booed Team India for the Bell run out would react to their own unsporting players.
The plight of Kohli: Virat Kohli has impressed one and all with the maturity he has shown in ODI Cricket. But soon after his century on his home-ground, a tweetable tweet went thus: "Well played Kohli, that was sexy. But remember Dude, you aren't even the second best batsman in your own town". That is a Classic way of saluting the Champion Opening pair of Gautam Gambhir and Viru the Sehwag !
India B Plus: Tendulkar, Sehwag, Yuveraj, Zaheer Khan, Harbhajan, Nehra, Munaf, Rohit, Sreesanth, Ishant, Pathan, Badrinath and Murali Vijay missing from the 14 member team means England are playing at best India B Plus team, not even India A.
Suspended Animation: This thumping win against a team that had mauled team India just a month ago has forced the Indian fans to keep in suspended animation, the lingering thought of the Century number 100 of a certain Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.
Taken for granted: The fatigue to too much of Cricket showed in the thing attendance during the final two matches. Or was it because the crowd took the 'White wash' with Indian Blue for granted ?
Mother of all collapses: England just wanted to get out of here, quite like Dhoni and his boys wanted to leave the Old Blighty only a few weeks ago. 129 without loss to 176 all out doesn't need much elaboration. This was the mother, grandmother and even great grand aunt of all collapses !
Ra1 Factor: Going through a promotional overdrive for his latest Sci-Fi movie Ra-1, Shah Rukha Khan somehow forgot to show up during the post match presentation. Neither at Mumbai, his adopted home not at Kolkotta home to his KKR team. Surprising !
Return of the Jade-ja
His Highness Ravindra Singh Jadeja has been best remembered for his T-20 World Cup flop shows so far. Given a lifeline by Dhoni's fondness and his equal dislike for Yusuf Pathan, Jadeja has grabbed his chances and done brilliantly during the series. His fielding has always been good. He is a decent fifth bowler in ODI Cricket. But this time, he batted well in given chances and has earned his place in the team to Australia.
Pace the Music: Umesh Yadav and Varun Aron generating pace was music to the Indian ears. But we ought to be careful because Ishant, Munaf and many more began their careers as raw energy pacers only to be either sidelined by injuries or turn into line and length trundlers. The motto should be "Don't Hype them till they are Ripe" !
Positive for the Poms: Samit Patel and Steve Finn were the only positives for the English side. World's best spinner was taken to cleaners and he couldn't hold on to the ball. They too missed Anderson, Broad, Strauss and the lack of experience showed !
Ab Dhoni ko kaun taal sakta hai ?
They just couldn't get him out throughout the series. He played the waiting game, the blasting game, nudges and edges, helicopter shot and his trademark bludgeoning drives. Leading from the front was redefined !
Finally it was a fair and square blue wash for the Poms with Brand India Bleeding Blue ! Happy Diwali to all Indians !
The Poms will come back next year for the Test Series. They are way too far better a Test Team than their ODI credentials. A wash in white flannels is what a 'Real White Wash' constitutes. Can Dhoni and Co achieve that ?
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @
http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
Team India's graph and my blogging curve seem to be related; though unintentionally. The World Cup victory had left me contented for some time and I wrote on IPL only because it was relaxing to write when you didn't have to worry about 'One Team' you love.
I was disappointed by the defensive Cricket played in West Indies and the whole of England tour was a nightmare to be best forgotten as soon as possible. But somewhere during the series, I had tweeted, "Every dog has a day and today belongs to Pomeranian".
Their Test series win was comprehensive though too many things went wrong for India. But their ODI win was plain lucky. The arrogance of the Neo-No.1 team was oozing and pouring from every orifice as the humbled Team India's body language went down to Antarctica.
I stuck to my tweetand was pretty sure Team India will see better days soon. Exactly during the slump of Team India, I too was not able to follow Cricket the way I usually do, thanks to some personal issues apart from a hectic professional life. Hence the posts here dwindled and perhaps saved me from writing much negative about my favorite team.
After having thumped England thoroughly, Team India have vindicated my faith in them and that of millions of fans. All good things will have to come to an end and all bad things too will have to come to an end. Dhoni and his boys are back and they are bleeding blue !
Considering the fact that Team India have Sachin, Viru, Yuvi, Zaheer and Nehra missing from our best possible 11, this win augurs well for the future. Add the first choice replacements like Rohit, Ishant, Sreesanth, Munaf, Vijay, Dinesh Karthik and Badri to the list. And due to form and selection issues, Yusuf Pathan and Bhajji too are not playing. That means this is at best India B-Plus Team, not even India-A !
Mission Accomplished : Captain Accomplished !
For all the criticism they faced during the English tour, Team India showed exemplary behavior during the whole tour. We are witnessing how the English players are behaving when the fortune has taken a 'U' turn. Dhoni very slyly yet very rightly pointed out during post-match presentation during the second ODI.
There is a huge gulf of class between these two teams. One knows how to behave even when the chips are down. The other is downright arrogant and almost vainglorious. Having criticized Dhoni's calling Bell decision, I feel the laws of natural forces have caught up with the Poms quite very soon.
Some of the statements by English experts and press during the England tour went like this...
Geoffrey Boycott: "India look a pale shadow of an ordinary team"
Nasser Hussain: "There were a few donkeys out there in the field today..."
Some extremely inconsiderate Indian critics and tweeters have called some of the players in this English team, donkeys. That is unfortunate and totally abusive. Some went to the extent of tweeting, "Some of the English players looked like pale shadows of donkeys out there"
We should respect our guests. "Athithi Devo Bhava" - Treat the guest like God. So please stop this nonsense now !
Post Script: The animal kingdom isn't very proud to be associated with the English Team that has turned out in this series so far ! And the hardworking and efficient donkeys have protested saying, "We consider this blasphemous. We are always well behaved even if people consider us sloppy. We wouldn't be rude and obnoxious when we know we are in deep shit. So we want all this abuse to stop immediately"
Every Donkey has a Day !
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @
http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
All these years I used to suspect Pizza Hut, Paneer Maakhni, Mushroom Pepper and Salt, Gulab Jamoon, Roasted cashew nuts, Coconut oil, soft drinks, Lays and Baskin Robbins were responsible for my 'weight problem' !
I have a Wait Problem; just can't wait for food !
Thanks Samit Patel for owning up. We all need someone or something to blame for anything and everything.
Now I can blame you in future !
Thanks again !
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @
http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
England on the verge of thrashing India 4-0 in the Test series. There are reactions galore. One of my friends said, "What happened all of a sudden that the batsmen, bowlers and fielders; all have failed except for one".
Geoffrey Boycott declared, "India look like a pale shadow of an ordinary team". There are a lot of reactions, over-reactions and knee-jerk reaction with doomsayers abundant.
In spite of a lot of criticism, Dhoni declared, "No need to press the panic button". Sreesanth said, "This is not the toughest series we have played". Not much has been heard from the likes of Laxman, Sachin, Sehwag and of course Gambhir.
Facebook, Twitter and all social networking sites are overflowing with snide remarks, tweets and offensive comments about the greed of our players. It hurts to see a team lose like this. I don't remember Team India playing such spineless Cricket since the 2003 New Zealand series.
For one who predicted a 2-1 or 1-2 or 2-2 result for the series, I too am taken aback. So I decided to sit back and doing a postmortem of the series. Keeping the knee-jerk out, here is what I feel about the series.
What went right for England
England were playing full strength with very few carrying injuries. Playing at home, they had abundant supply of replacements. They had walloped Australia in Australia and were very very eager for the No. 1 spot. They played ruthless, efficient and Champion brand of Cricket, no doubts. They deserve to be No. 1 now and no contesting that either. But if we look closer, so many things went in favor of England. Almost all things.
Home conditions, swinging pitches with bounce and carry.
All top order batters in form and even one who was out of form came out on top as the series progressed.
Their bowlers were definitely in supreme control and never allowed Indian batsmen to relax.
Every Umpiring and UDRS decisions went in favor of England. They got the Bell run-out reversed and sent Dravid packing when there was no clear evidence.
Overall they were fantastic on field and absolutely ruthless in every aspect including gamesmanship.
What went wrong for India
Sehwag and Gambhir in full form and fitness have terrorized best of the bowling attacks over the past 4 years. Both of them were coming back from long lay off and lack of match fitness showed.
Laxman and Tendulkar have done fabulously well for 4 years since 2007, the last time India toured England. Every time there was a crisis, one of these two had stepped in to lift the team. It was just the law of averages perhaps. Both failed in tandem.
During the series, India never completed test without someone breaking down.
Losing 2 out of 11 players on a tour can be tough. Then how about entire half of the team ? Gambhir, Zaheer, Harbhajan, Sehwag, Yuveraj, Sachin and then Praveen Kumar were hampered by injuries at one time or the other. Three of them were completely sidelined.
Umpires were reasonably kind to India but UDRS was not.
I have no complaint about the Cricket India played. The best of the teams can lose. But the way they capitulated to the pressure mounted by England to call back Bell was deplorable. For me, that was the defining moment in the series. If India had stood the ground, it would not have escalated into World war-3. But it definitely would have sent a message across. It was all downhill from there. The tough have thumped the soft-bellied meek.
This piece should not be dismissed as rantings of a disgruntled Indian fan. Just remember how England bumbled through World Cup 2011 and then kept complaining about everything including the size of the shrimps served for dinner.
Before we castigate this team for this series, let us not forget they had 'Won' the World Cup less than four months ago and had not lost a Test series since 2008. This just was one really sad series where nothing went right for India and everything worked perfectly for England. That will not happen all the times. India will bounce back and we have enough talent to sustain us in the Top-3 if not the top spot.
So, cheer up guys and gals and relax. Tomorrow is another day and Poms will fall sooner than later !
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @
http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
More than a month since "Doctoring the Balls" last saw a post. July was completely barren. Partly because of personal issues and partly because of not much inspirational stuff happening. The West Indies - India series was totally forgettable. I don't even remember who all played that series.
The ongoing England - India series seems to be attracting more attention for what is not Cricket than Cricket. Conceding the fact that England appear distinctly superior team at present, I still believe India have been pretty unlucky on several aspects.
Most of the good decisions on field have gone in favor of England and almost all bad decisions too have. But that isn't anything new for India. When was the last time did India have the better of Umpiring ? Adding to the issue is every expert's verdict that India are themselves to be blamed for not accepting UDRS.
But this post is about 'What is NOT Cricket' and NOT about 'What is Cricket'. Let us just take a look at what has happened so far.
Kick and remorse !
Event-1: Swann kicks the stumps and expresses remorse and gets away without even a fine. This was his second such offense in 5 month. Praveen Kumar expresses displeasure about Umpiring decision and gets fined. Even he showed remorse, buts still was fined...
Moral of the story: An Indian's remorse is not remorse enough to escape fine.
Event-2: Baby Broad goes to examine if Laxman had applied Vaseline to the edge of the bat to cheat the 'hot spot' and is convinced there was no Vaseline. Michel Vaughan tweets about Vaseline and then counters the outrage with sarcasm. We never knew Vaughan had any sense of humor. If he had he never showed it in his playing days. What would have been the reaction if Sreesanth were to go and examine the bat of Bell or Strauss in a similar situation ?
Moral of the story: Having a Match Referee for father helps. Sreesanth's father is not even an Umpire.
Event-3: Bell was technically and stupidly run-out. But still English stink tank wanted India to take back the appeal. India complied because they didn't feel good about that. They had suffered a lot in the Caribbean. But isn't it surprising that it is only one way traffic when it comes to "Spirit of Cricket" ?
Sachin Tendulkar was once run out thanks to timely obstruction by Shoaib Akhtar. He was NOT recalled.
Dhoni was twice ruled out wrongly by the third Umpire and the whole world saw that. No Captain or Commentator remembered the spirit of Cricket.
Chris Broad has been so narrow minded in his approach towards Team India that he is worse than Bucknor and Harper.
Srikkanth was run out wandering out side his crease in his first test. The opposition Captain never thought much about the debutant then.
Sehwag was denied a century in one of the most un-sportsman like act by the Sri Lankan Off spinner. Of course he was punished, may be because he too is not the son of an ICC official.
Any act of aggression by Indians on field gets immediate and immaculate punishment. From Manoj Prabhakar to Ganguly, Gambhir, Bhajji, Sreesanth and many more examples. But others somehow get let off easily with 'expression of remorse'.
Can someone remind me of an incident of an Indian batsman being called back by opponents when he was declared out wrongly ?
Spirit of Cricket will have a meaning when it is a give and take. So far it has always been interpreted as "India give and others take" all favors !
With the way the English press, players and Commentators have behaved so
far, this is bloody war out there and we are conceding vital advantage
there ! I don't blame Dhoni and his team for playing poor Cricket. It happens to the best of the men and best of the teams. But I am pissed off like hell because they called back Bell. How long will India have to keep playing the nice guys or be forced to play the virtuous ?
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @
http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
Disclaimer: I don't belong to RSS / VHP / Bajrang Dal. I am not right-wing Hindu extremist. I am not Francois Gautier. I am not Gurumoorthy. I am not Manoj Kumar. Neither am I Akshay Kumar. I am not a devotee of any Baba including Sai Baba, Rahul Baba, Baba Ramdev and Baba Black sheep. I am not related to any Thakre; living on nonliving. My surname isn't Togadia. I have no religion except Cricket. I don't believe in God, but I believe in Rahul Dravid and I have seen Sachin Tendulkar. The nearest I have felt to divinity was when I saw VVS Laxman on drive Shane Warne through mid-wicket at Eden in 2001. And I believe Virendar Sehwag can save us from Satan by just Upar Cutting him. This post is a work of fiction but that should not be a reason to disbelieve it.
This sensational discovery has rocked the world today and will be remembered as a Red-Letter day. This will change forever, all hitherto held beliefs about Cricket in general and the mankind in particular. During a routine excavation in some undisclosed place in Uttar Pradesh, the ASI has found a huge treasure. That alone wouldn't be so special or sensational. But they have found out a new dimension in the form of a book named Crick-Veda [Krikveda for the Swadeshi brigade], believed to be the long lost and forgotten fifth Veda.
Carbon dating and all kind of authentication tests are being held on this voluminous epic. It is believed to be at least 8000 - 9000 years old. Experts are busy deciphering the text. You are reading this here first because of our close contacts with ASI. Dr. Balls is an insider in ASI and has contacts from bottom to top. Here are some of the salient aspects about the book, brought only to those who follow Doctoring the Balls !!!
What we are going to disclose here is established beyond doubt in this priceless piece of Cricket Testament, ODIment and T-20ment, all compiled together. Cricket was a game, a religion and a way of life in India. It was called Kri karet, which means 'Doing the work'.
It was work as well as worship for the people of India that was Bharat. This emphatically proves Cricket was not a British game as has been claimed so far. Almost every Indian will vouch for this. The British picked up this beautiful game from India just like they picked up spices. We now know why Cricket is so spicy.
Cricket, was played in North Indian heartlands and South Indian paddy fields. The boys and men running in the fields tilled the land [Kri Khet in Hindustani and Kriya Kshetra in Sanskrit] and thus prepared it for watering and subsequent cultivation of crops. This must the earliest known example of business with pleasure. They worked while they played and they played while they worked. What a revolutionary ancestors did we inherit from ! And many people believe Cricket is a lazy game, rubbish !
The extremely talented men of those days used to hit the ball very hard and long and then people used to go in search of the ball. That is how the coinage "Leather hunt" evolved.
Hanumaan was the first ever Cricket-fever stricken boy known from history. He thought the red and shining Sun was a Cricket ball and went to catch it and this evolved into a legend. People misinterpreted it and said he went to pluck a fruit. Absolutely baseless and ball-less. Just look at this illustration, the Sun looks exactly like a Cricket ball shining in the Sun ! And Hanumaan is clearly trying to pick a one handed catch out of thin air. He isn't plucking any fruit out there.
Catch it !
Why did Krishna slay Kaliya the snake ? Because Kaliya refused to return the ball. Krishna and his friends were playing Cricket [Kri Karet in those days] by the Yamuna river bank. A DLF maximum from Krishna went into the river and Kaliya refused to return the ball. Thus their game of Cricket was halted by the mean snake. Hence Krishna had no other option but to slay the stubborn and spoilsport Kaliya to retrieve the ball to continue the game before the Umpires declared bad light. Even today we don't like to be disturbed while we enjoy our Cricket. Be it the snake or the wife.
In one of the most touching chapters, Sage Krikshwamitra explains the relation and differences between Test Cricket, One Day Cricket and T-20 Cricket. He says, T-20 Cricket is like your little daughter. You love her because she is your daughter. She may do childish things and appear juvenile. But you love her because she is your own product. But you have very little chances of recovering lost ground if your daughter gets spoiled, just like T-20 Cricket match. T-20, like your little girl is damn popular with people of all ages because you can carry it around with ease and you won't feel bad if she pees on your laps.
One Day Cricket is like the wife. You can play during day or at night. She is mature, beautiful, enticing and enchanting. You can control a lot of things with her. But you can't keep her switched on forever. Like every wife, she can be demanding. You need to do a lot of running around and be prepared to lose her if your fail with the bat or the ball. Most importantly she is more entertaining at night after you are done with all the work. She comes with a lot of color and cheer.
Test Cricket is without doubt, the Mother. You respect her, revere her, love her and listen to her. You can even fall asleep in her lap and still not miss much. She can go on and on and on for days sounding like a bore. But in the end, you are wiser, stronger and winner if you do the listening and playing properly. Like Mother, Test Cricket gives you more than one chances. Nor one bad over, neither a single bad shot can lose it all for you. And you better show discipline with your Mom, else you will be routed by the forces that guard the earth.
Further evidence from present day analogies: From aesthetics of the variants of the game, Crick Veda moves to the weapons used. The ball was the weapon of the aggressor. The bat belonged to the more responsible defenders. It symbolizes how one can use a weapon for both defensive and offensive purposes. So typically Indian. We just have to look at how Rahul Dravid and Virendar Sehwag use the same weapon to different effects.
India has a tradition of stretching beyond the limits and breaking records. Ram broke the Shiv Dhanush. Sachin has been breaking records ever since he was born. Arjun hit the fish's eye to win over a girl. Yuveraj hits the bill-boards. Karna was the first to show how one can use own body parts as defense tools. Mohindar Amarnath followed suit when he took on all the bouncers on his body without flinching. Krishna said it was fair to be unfair to deal with an unfair enemy. Saurav Ganguly was just equally mean to Australians. There are innumerable revisits.
Let us look at different aspects of the game. Batting was a Royal occupation. They never liked to run. Indian batsmen still don't like to run. Ask Sehwag, Pathan and Yuvi. Bowlers were the Soldiers. They attacked and won over enemies by felling the opponents. Do soldiers get any better than Bhajji, Kumble, Zaheer and Kapil Dev ? Fielding was for kids and the labor workers. Even today, the young and the fringe players field. The rest just rest.
Kri Karet expert from history and the earliest known Sexologist Batsayana has elaborated on the attraction between the Kri Karet Players and the girls and women from the entertainment fields. The singers, actors and dancers of the yore had a very special and enduring liking for the talented and good looking players.
There were so many affairs, courtships and marriages between Kri Karetars and artisans. Urvashi fell for Arjun's looks as well as skills. Seeta, the Princess was bowled over by the record breaking abilities of Ram. Bheem's ability to wield the mace [the first ever Mongoose] won over Hidimba. Nothing has changed in India 8000 years since.
There are millions of illustrations, coaching manuals and extensive records mentioned in Krikveda. We just have provided a sample here. But we promise to come back with entire translation sooner than later. Till then keep pondering over the points mentioned here.
Can all this old world wisdom in Cricket be anything but Indian ?
QED: Cricket is Indian by Origin !
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
Why do I believe Pakistan Cricket has the 'X-Factor' ? Because they have the largest number of 'Ex-Captains' in their team.
Everyone seems to be in a hurry there; to retire, come back, retire again and come back again and then retire finally. Or do they ?
We have retirements, premature retirements, immature retirements and non-retirements. There are much awaited and anticipated retirements like that of Rahul Dravid.
Then of course the extremely catastrophic event of the retirement of Sachin Tendulkar. The fear is looming large. Well of course, that should not be much of a problem if you are a Pakistan supporter.
So finally the day the whole world was fearing about has arrived. No, not Sachin's retirement day. Not even the end of the world, but much larger and infinitely terrible tragedy. An end of an era or say any buffalo dung you like. Shahid Afridi has retired !
But that is old news, some might say. So we will twist it a little bit. Shahid Afridi has re-retired. Now, that sounds better. We can add more 're's as we progress. But wait, has he re-come back ?
It would be unfair to talk only about Afridi. Cricket has evolved from being 'Gentleman's Game' to 'Mental Jam's Game'. Everybody plays 'Mental Games'. Sometimes games and very often just mental. Steve Waugh believed 'Everything was fair in Cricket and War'. Ponting believed nothing was unfair in Cricket and Ashes.
But coming back to Afridi, what is he playing ? Game ? Mental Game ? Mental ? War or plain dumb ? Last heard he is contemplating return to Cricket. I swear on Ijaz's Butt, Pakistan Cricket is a marvel like nothing before and nothing since.
A lot of discussion has already taken place on Afridi's retirement. Enough and more has been said about this re-retirement. But how can I retire without my say ? So I decided to take a random look at retirements of our Cricketers from the past; distant and not so distant.
Don Bradman retired because '99.94 ain't so bad'. It in fact appears a lot sexier than 100 today.
Gary Sobers retired after he found out that he could no longer drive after drinking.
Geoffrey Boycott retired after proving to himself that he was technically a better batsman than Sunny Gavaskar.
Bishan Singh Bedi retired because the butterfly wasn't able to float and the bee wasn't stinging either as Zaheer Abbas and Miyandad made him look ordinary.
Sunny Gavaskar said, "Quit when people ask why rather than when". He retired scoring a tragic 96 in his last test innings and a hundred and a duck in his last first class match. A man of his words.
Mohindar Amarnath retired after he was convinced that nobody will break his record of come-backs. The 'Bunch of Jokers' made his decision easier.
Dilip Vengsarkar retired after the stupid adjudicators gave Man of the Match award to Kapil Dev for taking 434 wickets. There of course was other reason. There was no test to be played at Lords in nearest future at that time.
Kapil Dev retired after Javagal Srinath threatened to retire and Richard Hadlee almost died of boredom waiting for his record to be broken.
Azaruddin retired because of 'Maine match banaaya'. Today, he is playing a different innings in Indian Politics. He is an Icon for the likes of Mohammad Asif, Mohammad Aamer, Ajay Jadeja and Sulman Butt. Politics on either side of Indo-Pak border will not suffer for want of Sportsman Spirit.
Kim Hughes retired in tears. A real tearful adieu !
Alan Border retired because he had scored more runs than Gavaskar.
Manoj Prabhakar was retired by Sanath Jayasuriya.
Ravi Shastri was tired down by his knee and retired by Indian crowds baying for blood.
Sanjay Majrekar was retired by his shoulders. After shouldering arms to all balls outside the off stump in a One day match in the 49th over, he developed a fixed shoulder deformity. He has since proved to be a much better commentator and blogger.
Miyandad retired like only he could; like a street fighter. He fought with opponents, Umpires, Dennis Lillee, Ian Botham, his mother in law and Zaheer Abbas before there was nobody left to fight.
Imran Khan retired because he became bigger than Pakistan Cricket and in one of the proudest moments in Pakistan Cricket, he forgot his team.
Clive Lloyd retired because he had nothing more to achieve as Captain and only a little more in him as batsman.
Vivian Richards retired because he saw the beginning of the end of Caribbean domination.
Richie Richardson retired because he seriously began to believe he was in the wrong team.
Brian Lara retired because nothing else was right and he was left handed and stranded all the time.
Steve Waugh retired because he couldn't have continued for long without facing the risk of axe. He made 'Retirements in Installments' a fashion.
Inzamam ul Haq retired because there was no one left in entire Pakistan who was not run out by Inzy Bhai.
Courtney Walsh retired because people started taking advantage of his magnanimity and started running even before he marked his run up. Once a pair of Australian batsmen actually completed 2 runs before Walsh reached the bowling crease.
Shane Warne retired because 6 weeks of IPL was more lucrative than 1 year of 'Baggy Green'. And he didn't have to slog for ten and a half months. He retired from IPL because he wanted to badmouth a RCA Official in public.
Glen McGrath retired because Warne was retiring and he could no longer dare to predict 5-0 white wash without sounding silly.
Saurav Ganguly retired from International Cricket after scoring a double century because he was 'once bitten, twice shy'. He retired from domestic Cricket and came back to help his team qualify and then re-retired. He again faced the axe in IPL. But the Tiger roared again in IPL-2011 and we are waiting for total retirement.
Younis Khan retired because he couldn't handle the foul smelling posterior that heads Pakistan Cricket. He looks both tired and retired as of now.
Anil Kumble retired because the graceless Cricket fans in India wanted him to and anoint Dhoni the Captain. Why ? They want Dhoni to retire ! Kumble again retired from IPL because even the President of Karnataka State Cricket Association is not allowed to play Cricket in suits.
Muralidharan retired because 800 is a huge number and the ICC rules still don't allow runners for fielders.
But no retirement or re-retirement is quite like that of Mohammad Yousuf / Yousuf Yohana. His was the first retirement that came with a clause and a comma. He retired for the time being ! Later he was re-retired by Selectors. Before that, he retired from his religion. With that he also took retirement from shaving. In between he retired from ICC Cricket and signed up for ICL Cricket. But even before it began, he retired from ICL and wanted to Captain Pakistan. Then he retired as Pakistan Captain and now we don't know. Even he doesn't know if he is retired or is on a come back trail or on a go back trail. Move over Afridi, Yusuf is the most retired man on earth. And his is the 'Baap of all Cricket Retirements' !
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
So the IPL is finally over... Sigh ! Thanks everybody and thank you Sachin !
Saurabh Tiwari is poster boy of IPL Bosses for finishing off with a DLF Maximum !
So now it is time for some entertainment.
And what way better than with some movies ?
Cricket and Cinema drive this nation crazy.
So here are 5 movies inspired by the IPL... Coming Soon...
Pirate of the Caribbean
The Pirate 'Finally' Falls
Jilted by the West Indian Cricket board, an irate Christopher Henry wrecks Gayle storms in East Indian Cricket show piece. He slaughters the hapless bowlers before 'Finally' falling for the Super King's guile ! He walks away with individual laurels even as the Super Kings celebrate.
The Mommy Returns
The Turbanator and The Mommy !
The Turbanator lifted the Mommy last time around. Still the Mommy went home without a win. The claim was they lost 160 millions in 2010. They wanted a sequel with a hope to rake in the moolah. This time too, The Mommy Returns; Empty-handed !
Father and Son
Father and Son
The Father and Son live in a world of their own; a gigantic world. They sell beer and fly Kingfisher with beautiful girls. The son has a 'Dum Belle' in tow. They even rope in the Pirate as their hit-man. But when it comes to the final hurdle, the King of good times falls in to bad times, the Prince becomes Pauper and the Belle sings "Dumb maaro Dumb".
Beastly
The Beastly Slinga !
The terrorized batsmen ran for safety to save their toes as the 'Slinga' went berserk through IPL. But may be he went weak in the knee during the final week. The Mommy returned home sad for the God !
The Hangover II
The Hangover Spills Over to Galleries !
What do you do when you already have a hit which has broken many records ? You make a sequel. But the trick is to make it bigger, better and more banging. This is exactly what Hangover II attempts, and manages competently. The Yellows had the Reds for a swallow. This will linger on for the Cricket Crazy Chennai fans ! This is the 'Biggest Hit' in Tamilnadu that doesn't have Rajnikanth in it !
The End !
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
Disclaimer: This post is a figment of imagination of the writer. This is purely a fun article and doesn't intend to be derogatory about any of the honorable people mentioned. No way does this betray any maliciousness on part of the writer who himself is on the verge of being certified overweight.
No offense is meant about the well endowed men and women. I am 'Broad'-minded. When I say that, it should not be confused with the Narrow minded ICC Match Referee with an England Captain for a son.
From being Agarkar-like, time has managed to render me in the 'just under the overweight league' with a BMI closing in on 25. I was never known for athleticism and that perhaps is why I preferred to play and follow Cricket. Not that I was any good at that. But Cricket still remains the only field game that still offers 'Fat' chances to the physically over-endowed to hold their own against the likes of Jonty Rhodes and Keiron Pollard.
There was 'Ample' evidence that Samit Patel was dropped from England probables list due to the eschewed fitness standards set by the ECB. The now past India Coach had expressed concerns over 'Overweight' Indian Cricketers. That was unfortunate. Just imagine if weight or size did matter in the past, Sri Lanka would not have won their lone World Cup and England would not have won Ashes in 1987.
Here is an ode to those big 'BIG' men who regaled us with their skills. Here we launch the "Indian Plumpier League" [IPL]. Let us take a look at those weighty teams and their leaders of 'substance'. For those keen to play in the League, pound in all the pounds you can; more the merrier. The auction will strictly be held on the basis of Pounds. And all payments, hefty or otherwise will be made in Pounds too. A Pound for a Pound !
1] Chubby Supper Kings: With their love for heavy meals at night, the Chubby Kings lead from the front. So they have the Chubbiest Captain !
Leverlock, Stock and Barrel !
2] Belly Bare Devils: The Team from the Capital languishing at the bottom this season. Who can pick the spirits of this team ? Who else but the one with a belly that can scare the Devil ?
Belly that can Scare Devil !
3] Gol-Guppa Weight Ryders: Having either puny or fit skippers has been SRK's idea of a Captain. That is why the team has never been 'Stout' on field. But when you have a 'Big Jesse' for Captain, nobody meddles with them.
Just see Weight Ryder !
4] Binge's 11 Fun-jab: For binge eating, binge drinking, fun and jabs, you need not look around. He is a 'Legend' in all. The Prince did 'Eat' them all up during the World Cup !
Eat all You-We can !
5] Chicken Gorgers: They can munch and gorge on anything and everything including bowling attacks and 'Aloo Bondas' of Hyderabad. A worthy skipper has to be a man of stature.
The BIGGEST Talent from Pakistan
6] Royal Chill-hangersAmpleore: They will just chill out on Royal Challenge and avenge all the defeats so far. The Mr. Cool of Lankan Cricket will 'walk' away with the Captaincy. Well, he always walked his runs.
'Run'atunga who always walked runs !
7] Boonie Warriors India: One of the all time great overweight Cricketers excelled in fielding with all his girth. He will be a Boon to any lowly placed team.
A Boon for the underdogs !
8] Cocky Tuskers Carousel: For the Cocky Mallu who walks without a care like a tusker, they finally have a merry-go-Round of tuskers. The Cockiest of them all will lead the team. Gatting, Batting, Fatting and Swatting [of Pakistani Umpires] all allowed.
Gatting Batting Fatting !
9] Bum-boy Indians: For those who love everything in big chunks. The most Powarful man in Indian Cricket will lead from the front. His style and substance will make him a 'Roll-model' !
Powar Power !
10] Rotundistan Royals: A Patel from England alone qualifies to lead the bunch of Rotundistan Royals. To Sum it all, will get justice at last. This completes the ensemble of ten teams.
Sum of it all Patel !
This Obese version of IPL will begin as soon as we manage to find enough players plumper than the plump to complete 10 teams. Anyone interested to join the weight-wagon, don't wait, just shoot your applications. Weight is the only criteria !
Some patented attractions:
Cheer girls will be replaced with more ample and attractive 'Beer Babes'. Buxom is the word !
Buxom Beer Babes !
Concessions on ticket prices to those weighing above 100kg. They will be accommodated in the exclusive 'Century Club'.
Beer, beef and all kind of food served at subsidized rates before, during and even after the match.
Log on to our website for more details:
www.indianplumpierleague.com
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
Post Script: I can sit through an entire day and then through the night watching VVS bat with the tail in tow than suffer some of that 'Cricket' played by the likes of Sunny Sohal and Manish Pandey; the Masters of Inelegance !
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
A lot of DLF maximums, Karbonn Kamaal Catches and Citi Bank moments of Success after the "Time to test the bench" post, have forced me to make changes in my Team for the ODI Series in the Caribbean.
So here is my ODI Team for the West Indies Tour ! This is open for further updating till 13 May, the D-Day for the selection.
Who is out and why ?
Ravindra Jadeja will have to wait. Though he isn't bad, someone better has come up.
Robin Uthappa remains the flash in the pan man. He has disappointed.
R. P. Singh has flattered to deceive. Will need a little more effort to make the cut.
1] Gautam Gambhir [Captain - He remains firmly there in spite of patchy form]
2] Paul Valthaty [In spite of indifferent form, he is in for the X-Factor] 3] Ambati Rayudu [He has proved his credentials. Needs support]
4] Virat Kohli [We know there isn't a better No. 3 right now]
5] Yuveraj Singh [Yuvi in India Colors is different player and we love him]
6] Suresh Raina [We don't have a better floater. A certainty] 7] Rohit Sharma [Done better since the last post and can't deny his talent]
8] Yusuf Pathan [IPL batting form getting better. He deserves a place in the 11]
9] Parthiv Patel [The Wicket Keeper. Continues to show utility]
10] Ishant Sharma [He has been good and improved. No doubt he is Future !]
11] Munaf Patel [I don't like his fielding. But the truth is he is bowling well] 12] Rahul Sharma [Most economical Bowler in this IPL deserves a look]
13] R. Ashwin [Though not great, he has been good. A better 50 overs bowler]
14] Vinay Kumar [Continues to work hard. Deserves to be support bowler]
15] Praveen Kumar [Needed for the street-smart experience]
There is a flimsy possibility of any more changes coming up in my team. But as the saying goes, Cricket is a game of glorious uncertainties.
On Saturday, May 7, a youngster gave a professional verdict, "Sir, Isn't Prasanth Parameswaran a great prospect ? Isn't he MUCH BETTER than Sreesanth ? I think we should drop Sreesanth and bring in this boy. He is too good."
I told him, "I think it is too early. He was lucky with a no-ball that got Sehwag. You can't judge one bowler after 8 overs and say he is better than a bowler who has 70 Test wickets from 21 tests. Let us wait for Prasanth to perform consistently".
Prasanth Parameswaran broke Stuart Broad's record for maximum runs in an over on Sunday, May 8.
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
Pitch playing a ripper and Sreesanth bowling almost underground.
4 down for 2 in the second over and later 35 for 3 in the seventh.
7 team-mates scored 61 runs of 75 balls with 3 fours and 2 sixes.
Take out 33 from 20 by Pathan and Britt during slog and it becomes 28 from 55 balls.
The ball managed to cross the ropes only twice from the other end when he batted.
All other batsmen together managed 9 fours and 5 sixes of 188 balls scoring 173 runs.
He got out at his team score of 132 but not before making 80 runs of 47 balls.
5 scintillating sixes and 8 fabulous fours at a strike rate of 170 [10 RPO].
People might say a lot of things. They might talk about Valthaty and Gayle.
Kohli holds the orange cap. Sachin the most consistent. Many have fired.
Rohit has played well too and David Hussey hit the longest six so far.
He was honest and accepted his team was suffering because he had failed to fire.
And in spite of a bad shoulder and a worse pitch, he needed to fire !
Delhi languishing at the bottom of the table needed the Captain for resurrection.
Harsha Bhogle tweeted Yuveraj and Sehwag are better India players than IPL players.
He was right. Well, mostly. Somehow Sehwag prefers the bigger stage to ignite.
The partisan crowd at Kochi didn't realize how fortunate they were today.
They have witnessed one of the rarest of the rare Gems today on a tough pitch.
In conditions like this where their own team has lost 20 wickets for a total of 187 runs...
Resurrection Man !
And the de facto Fact - QED:
Virendar Sehwag's 80 today is easily 'The Best' IPL knock I have seen so far !
I rest my case !
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
IPL has thrown up some surprises. Some players whom I have disliked all along have done well. Some whom I have hyped up haven't. And some whom I have waited for have done well too. And thankfully, the new teams aren't door mats. Let us take a look at Indian players @ IPL 2011 chapter.
Of the lesser known faces, Abu Nechim looked good when he got a chance. Ambati Rayudu has been fantastic. Paul Valthaty is Revelation and Revolution put together. He is the 'Item Number' of IPL-4. Harmeet Singh Bansal got slower but also got Sehwag. Vinay Kumar has never looked better.
Bharat Chipli is another surprise package. Venugopal Rao is a blooming, but perhaps a tad too late for a total recall. Dinesh Karthik is not the same Boss DK he was a year ago. Abhishek Nayar too has slipped down the ladder.
Murali Vijay and Badrinath have played well, but nothing exceptional. Shikar Dhawan has been a total disaster. Naman Ojha is missing Warne. Che Pujara hasn't got the chances to bat higher. Saurabh Tiwari has been too tame. Anirudha Srikkanth has shown more maturity than his father.
Dravid and Laxman have batted well, but ! Mohammed Kaif hasn't got a look in. Akash Chopra is a very good blogger today. Wridhiman Saha is in a team whose Captain's name is M. S. Dhoni. Ajit Agarkar will retire after this season.
Dinda has bowled no-balls and bad balls and wants to believe he is India's answer to Malinga. That he is NOT. Irfan Pathan has done precious little. Jakati is not the same bowler he was in IPL-2010. Gony is more of agony and Sreesanth is Freesanth.
Murali Karthik is toiling gamely, but selectors are not looking back. Sidharth Trivedi has blown hot and blown cold. Abhimanyu Mithun has been blown away. Umesh yadav wants to play tests. But where is he ? Why aren't Rajastan trying Deepak Chahar ? And where is Kamran Khan ?
Sarabjit Ladda looks good and then looks bad. What is Asad Pathan ? A Bowler who can bat or a Batsman who can bowl ? Too many Pathans, too little Pathaning !
Rohit Sharma is maintaining the Legend of Rohit Sharma. I watched live, Raveendra Jadeja slam two huge sixes against CSK. Robin Uthappa has played his customary big shots. Balaji looks fabulous with slower ones but perhaps Vinay Kumar is a better package.
Yusuf Pathan has bowled better and flattered to deceive with the bat. Thankfully Piyush Chawla will not be in contention; Jadeja demolished him. Pragyan Ojha looks pale and Amit Mishra just about hale.
Manoj Tiwari has missed out on scaling the next level twice this time. Good, yet not as good as say, Rayudu, Valthaty or Uthappa. Everyone is busy talking about Poonam Pandey. Does anyone remember the first Indian to score an IPL century ?
Manish Pandey
Sehwag should have had shoulder surgery NOW. He is MESSING up the IPL and will be MISSING the West Indies and England tours. Too bad. Sachin is Sachin, Thank You Sachin.
Yuvi the Captain isn't as great as Yuvi the match winner. Bhajji is looking as ordinary as he has been for past 3 years. Zaheer needs rest. Gambhir can make an ordinary team with Kallis, Lee, Morgan, Shakib, Yusuf and Gambhir.
It is believed Dhoni, Sachin, Sehwag, Bhajji and Zaheer would like to be rested. Nehra is yet to recover from injury. Will he be ready for the West Indies ?
Though Dhoni has maintained that IPL should not be the criteria for India selection, we can't altogether ignore the greatest Glicket show on earth.
So here is my ODI Team for the West Indies Tour ! This is open for updating as the IPL progresses.
1] Gautam Gambhir [Captain - He should OPEN or should not play]
2] Paul Valthaty [Why not ? It is time to see if he is good at the next level]
3] Virat Kohli [Obvious choice. There isn't a better No. 3 right now]
4] Yuveraj Singh [Rested enough and rusted enough. He needs to be playing]
5] Suresh Raina [He too has to be there too]
6] Robin Uthappa [He deserves a chance. Second Wicket Keeper]
7] Yusuf Pathan [Poor IPL batting form. But he deserves at least 1 full series]
8] Parthiv Patel [The Wicket Keeper. Has batted usefully]
9] Ishant Sharma [He has been good so far. He is Future !]
10] Munaf Patel [In spite of my dislike, he is in because he is IN]
11] Ravindra Jadeja [Well, he has come back in a BIG way]
12] R. Ashwin [He is our strongest Spinner in shorter formats]
13] R. P. Singh [Scratchy. But a little support and he can be R. P. Swing !]
14] Vinay Kumar [Absolute guts and hard work. Deserves to be there]
15] Ashish Nehra / Praveen Kumar [One of them needed for the experience]
Unless someone from this list plays really badly or someone else plays really exceptionally, this could be the team. Rayudu, Rohit, Balaji and Vijay can consider themselves unlucky to miss the flight. But then we have a pretty good Bench Strength. We can afford to waste a few talents. Even Greg Chappell believes so !
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
Attention Please: I am not responsible for the length of this post; the 28 years wait is. That is exactly 70% of the time I have spent on this planet. So those who wish to embark upon this journey are advised to exercise enormous patience. I sincerely believe it is a journey worth and would love it if some of you think so too. Kindly express your reaction. Like it or not, let me know it. Thanks for taking the plunge !
Most of us Indians, especially those who have seen and lived 25 June 1983 have been living to see, savor and attain salvation with an encore ! I can't talk about those who have only heard of this day. Because 2 April 2011 must be a 'This is it' for them like 25 June 1983 was for us.
And then it happened !
DLF-IPL has come too soon for the 'Real Thing' to sink in. But it has finally sunk in. Having been negative throughout Team India's campaign, I am the happiest earthling today. So happy, I have even decided to spend my hard-earned money to watch Sreesanth play for Kochi Tuskers. Why, I have decided to tolerate Sidhu and forgive Dean Jones. Winners have Responsibility !
Looking back at the victory celebrations and the players reactions, I caught hold of a small piece of statement by Viru Sehwag. He said, "We have been planning about how to play the final ever since we played a final in Sri Lanka about a year ago".
Perhaps the journey started a lot earlier in 2008. Perhaps it was the Sydney Test that gave us the momentum and then this moment. But like Viru said, the actual preparation began in Sri Lanka.
Let me deconstruct the journey in a lazy manner. Chronology is not one of my strengths. So if it looks haphazard, it should be forgiven. Because this is one journey and one destination we will savor all our breathing moments.
The Road to Victory; How was it Constructed !
Summer of 2010: Yuveraj Singh loses Punjab Captaincy to Sangakkara and goes into sulking. His runs recede but the waist-line doesn't.
July 2010: Suresh Raina makes a fabulous Test Debut and nudges Yuveraj Singh out of the Test Team.
November 2010: Yuveraj's place in ODI Team too is jeopardized. Yuveraj Singh written off !
All through 2010: Virat Kohli almost seals the No. 3 / 4 position with very mature performances and centuries during one chase after another.
Throughout 2010: Gautam Gambhir struggles with niggles and then wriggles out at the fag end with a Captain's show against Kiwis.
Most Important: Selectors finally decide to 'rest' His Highness Ravindra Jadeja and bring in Yusuf Pathan. We will know why the story would not have been so big without the big man !
Second half of 2010: Sachin Tendulkar, Virendar Sehwag, Zaheer Khan, Harbhajan Singh and Ashish Nehra take turns to get injured and be rested.
November 2010: Dhoni has taken enough battering in his hands and decides to rest and lets Gambhir make a come-back.
December 2010: Yusuf Pathan wins a match that was almost lost before the rains intervened. His hitting was so sensational, the seventh batsman theory was refurbished and buttressed.
January 2011: Suresh Raina progressively develops feet of clay and an acute shortness against short balls. He loses his Test spot to Che and ODI spot to Virat / Yusuf.
January 2011: Yuveraj struggles but does better than Raina and Gambhir's Test form saves him for the big show.
January 2011: Munaf Patel snatches 4 wickets and a Man of the Match award from nowhere and elbows Sreesanth from contention.
January 2011: Rohit Sharma and Murali Vijay disqualify themselves from World Cup berths even as Yusuf comes into the BIG picture.
17 January 2011: Indian Team declared. Sreesanth out and Piyush Chawla in. I was vociferous in criticizing this. Sachin, Sehwag, Gambhir, Zaheer, Bhajji, Praveen Kumar, Yuveraj and Nehra selected but still in different wards in different hospitals.
23 January 2011: Yusuf Pathan blasts a match winning 60 and then an incredible Century against South Africa even though India fail to win the ODI series. He then goes on to declare, "I can win matches from any position".
February 2011: Noise worth 2389 Billion GB created over the World Wide Web debating the Raina vs Yusuf vs Gambhir vs Virat. My contribution: 3.4 GB.
February 2011: Everyone is fit for the Cup except 'Pehelwan'. Praveen Kumar calls Dhoni the 'Obama of Cricket' [How Prophetic !] and then picks up what turned out to be the costliest injury in the history of Cricket. Hence Sreesanth makes a back door entry. Dhoni declares Sreesanth has to irritate opponents and not his own team-mates.
13 February 2011: Piyush Chawla replaces Jadeja as the 'Latest Blue Eyed Boy' of Indian Cricket. Dhoni roots for 'The Leg Spinner' who brings in the variety. He has quite a lot of variety. The full toss, the long hop, the short one, the sitting duck and the dead duck balls. Chawla ambushes Australia in a low scoring match on a lower bouncing pitch at Bengaluru during warm up game.
16 February 2011: India warm up further and thrash New Zealand at Chennai as Dhoni cuts loose.
17 February 2011: Sehwag declares 'War' and wants to draw first blood against Bangladesh. He also wants to bat all 50 overs.
19 February 2011: Tiger Tamed: Sehwagging continues till the 48th over as India manage to extract revenge. Sreesanth slaughtered for pace and Munaf cons with his lack of that.
27 February 2011: Poms Tied: After loitering around for over a week, India cross the Poms. Each team plays worse than the other and they are tied ! Chawla goes for plenty and Dhoni defends him. Sachin fires and Munaf misfires. Zaheer Khan unveils the knuckle ball.
6 March 2011: Irish Delight: India play like MINNOWS against minnows and beat Ireland without hurting them. Chawla again goes for runs in his last spell. Yuveraj Singh gaining in confidence.
9 March 2011: Go Dutch with Dignity: Netherlands too treated with extreme respect as India first create mayhem and then a mini panic and then allow Yuveraj Singh to regain form, fitness and faith. Pathan promoted by Dhoni and demoted by himself.
12 March 2011: Spring of the Springboks: India blast Saffers for the 40 overs then Smith uses Steyn remover to wipe the rest of the batting. Sachin fires again and this time, Nehra misfires. Saffers canter home by 3 wickets.
20 March 2011: Yuvi Revival in Caribbean Carnival: Ravi Rampaul gets Sachin early but the rejuvenation of Yuveraj Singh is complete. Zaheer knuckles another left-hander and the West Indies tail outdoes Indian tail in the business of collapsing. India through to knock outs and the mighty Bangladesh knocked out.
Throughout March 2011: From Dean Jones to sundries to Spun Doctor have written Team India off. Everyone has their reasons and Munaf Patel, Ashish Nehra and Piyush Chawla were in everyone's lest.
Knock Outs and the 3 M Connection !
One of my superstitious friends had told me 'B' for Bengaluru wasn't all that lucky for India. 'N' for Nagpur too was not. But 'M' was going to be the lucky letter. Starting the journey at Mirpur, he predicted Matera, Mohali and Mumbai would win India the Cup. I scoffed at this. This was one more addition to many of those coincidence based predictions of fellow Blogger Shridhar Jaju.
24 March 2011: Matera Matters: Yuvi again showed he means business with the ball. In front of an appreciative Narendra Modi, Sachin began the chase well. Gambhir cemented and then ran out of ideas. Yuvi and Raina proved their mettle in a tense chase and Raina exorcised the 'Short Ball Ghost' with a massive one of Lee. Lee injured himself and Yuvi celebrated the most pent up celebration witnessed in our lifetime. And Ponting still being Ponting, walked into World Cup Sunset with a Century !
30 March 2011: Diwali in Mohali: Viru began with fireworks on Gul and won the first round of nerves. Sachin has never been dropped as many times in a 5 Test Series. He showed how the 'Ghost of Saqlain Mushtaq' still haunts him with his vulnerability against 'Doosra'. India started as if they'd score 400. Then looked as if they'd not even reach 250 and then Raina plays another cameo to take them to 260.
Hafeez thought they could overhaul it. Umar Akmal wanted to finish it before 40 overs. But Bhajji accounted for him and Afridi's last wicket in this Cup was that of Afridi himself. Munaf Patel bowled his best ball of the Cup to Razack and Ashish Nehra salvaged himself with his last spell of 2-0-3-2. India cantered home in spite of late assault by Misbah which turned out to be too late !
1 April 2011: 6 World Cup winning Captains together; What an Idea Sirji: Lloyd believed Dhoni the Captain was too good. Kapil Dev said the team that played well would win, so did Ranatunga; Politically correct chaps. Border believed India will be easy meat for Lankan Lions. Waugh too felt Lanka would win. Imran Khan thought with the win against Australia and Pakistan, India would be the team to beat. All fools day, who would be a fool and who would be cool the next evening ? Suspense !
2 April 2011: MumbaiMeri Jaan: Sreesanth playing ahead of Ashwin left every Indian dumb. Sanga won a cunning toss and was smarter only till the first ball bowled by Zaheer Khan. The first spell by Zaheer was one of the finest and was ably supported by Munaf. Indian fielding was at its best as even Sreesanth hurled himself in the deep to save 2 runs. Sri Lanka scored big in the slog and left India with the highest total to be chased in a World Cup Final.
Slinga was point blank with Viru and Sachin was snared in no time and a lot of TV sets in India were switched off and there was a late rush for movie tickets. Gambhir and Virat played some of the most sensible Cricket seen in this cup. Virat fell for a Dilshan blinder. Stage set for Yuveraj, the man of the season for India to come and save India. As India waited with bated breath in walked the hitherto out of form Captain.
What happened from here is part of modern day Folklore and Legend. We don't have to repeat it here. It will be visited, revisited, collected, recollected, lived and relived millions of times in our life time !
This ends the Story: The Road to Victory; How was it Constructed ! Everyone knows this. It ain't big deal telling what happened only 2 weeks ago. That wasn't my endeavor. The story had to be told because our job is to deconstruct the story. And that is what we are going to unfurl from here.
Everything was planned; Road to Victory Deconstructed !
When Viru said the planning began one year ago in Sri Lanka, they had expected the Lankans to be there in the finals. And thus the planning began there.
Even as every Arm-chair Critic, self-proclaimed expert and International Stars went on denouncing Team India and their chances, Dhoni and his men went about their business as if they had heard nothing. There was something almost obstinate about them. It only unfolds now: Everything was planned, EVERYTHING !
They played so much Cricket with the Lions, almost everyone got sick of it, including the Lankans. This exactly is what they wanted.
India gave wickets to Suraj Randiv and shared the ODI series Finals with the Lions. India wanted him in Mumbai / Mohali / Matera ahead of Mendes.
Yuvi dropped and humiliated. India knew well, after what he did to England after Flintoff in 2007 T-20 World Cup; no opposition would dare to arouse the sleep-walking Giant. To get him fired and pumped up, we had to do the due !
Raina short-listed and then short-charged. It was all a ploy again. A ploy to confuse opposition bowlers. They fell hook, line and length to bowl short at him when it mattered. In the interim, he had 'pulled' new trick out of the hat.
Sehwag threatened to bat all 50 overs and almost did against Bangladesh. Every opponent concentrated on Viru and actually allowed Virat, Gautam and Yuvi to relax.
Sachin could not be planned unless you have a genuine 'Doosra'. He played along merrily.
India gave so much respect to the minnows, everyone believed this team can be beaten easily. Fool them all !
India shared honors with England just to keep the Poms happy. And also to introduce the 'knuckle ball'. Zaheer created the fear in the minds of left hand batters.
Indian middle order collapsed and collapsed and the tail never wagged. Get Viru and Sachin and they will collapse is what the opponents thought. Again misleading. Virat batted as if he never existed. Gambhir batted without anyone noticing till he ran himself out. Yuvi made chasing under pressure his forte.
Pathan wasn't winning matches from any positions. He bowled more during slog overs than bat. He was then dropped to bring in Raina during knock outs. It worked like dream for India.
Bhajji looked so tame all through first round and Munaf Patel never once threatened to take an important wicket. Against Pakistan, as they concentrated on Zaheer, Bhajji knocked Uakmal with a beauty and Munaf unleashed a beast to snare Razack.
Sreesanth and Chawla made Indian bowling look so ordinary that even Boycott's mother wanted to play for England. At the rate their players were getting injured, she had some realistic chances.
Somehow history shows us that India have to lose once to an Opponent to win a Final against them. If you win a group match, you get knocked out in knock outs. Else you have to tie to win. So they tied against Poms and lost to Saffers, their realistic Semi Final or Final opponents from their own group. Very smart. But we only know it now.
Ashish Nehra created enormous over-confidence in the minds of Pakistan batsmen with his last over against South Africa. This too was planned. 2 birds with one over. Saffers sorted out and Pakistan lulled into complacency. We now know how he did them in at Mohali.
Ashwin is the only player who has 100% win record in this team. He was kept for West Indies and Australia. India didn't waste him against Pakistan and Sri Lanka. Both teams had their own "Doosras". So India preferred to play the 'Pehla' and he did it with his 'Teesra' !
India then fooled Sri Lanka with their orchestrated ineptness against Saeed Ajmal and Hafeez. They played well against Afridi denying him any wicket in the Semi-final. This turned out to be a master stroke as the Lankans kept Mendes out and played with 2 Off spinners.
One move after another had left opponents dumb. But still they fell for more. All though the cup, India fielded ordinary. Dhoni kept telling there is very little we can do about our fielding. Australia, Pakistan and Sri Lanka believed this and we know how they suffered when it mattered.
All the while Dhoni kept himself out of form. He preferred to face flak for everything he did and didn't than face bowlers at the crease. All the opponents were gleefully anticipating to bowl at him, a Captain under duress and a batsman out of form.
With India 2 down for 31 in the Final, he fooled Lankans again. Expecting Yuvi to come in and crowd him with spin, Lankans lost the plot when Dhoni walked in and kept walking singles without any fuss. Before they realized it, he had shifted gears in spite of the mandatory harakiri committed by Gambhir. But even this was planned. India wanted 2 of the most important players of this generation to be around to win it.
Sachin and Viru did the early guiding. Virat chipped in frequently. Raina rained when it got too hot. Yuvi marshaled through troubled waters and Dhoni finished with flourish !
Another important thing had happened during all this. They had even coached players to come out with quotable quotes. So Virat said, "He has carried the burden of the nation for 21 years. The least we could do was to carry him".
We have said, everything was planned. Yusuf Pathan was selected, designated, trained and ordained to carry 'the burden of the man who carried the burden of the nation' through the Victory Lap ! Who else but the strongest man in India ? Fittingly, the young tyros Raina and Virat were assigned to assist the mighty Pathan !
The Atlas !
And the Assistants !
I thank profusely, all those who have completed this journey. I also thank those who left halfway like many of those Indian fans who left early through Indian chase in the Final. Because this is 'Our Victory'. The Victory of a nation starved of ODI World Cup Glory for too long. So let me be magnanimous too.
If you liked the post, well and good. Even if you didn't like this, I am sure you are rejoicing the Indian win like me. And if anyone other than Indians is reading this by chance, "Come, join us. We deserved to win this. Sachin deserved to win. Dhoni deserved to win. Yuveraj deserved to win and all of India deserved to win. So come join us !"
SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/
