Che, Virat and the Essence of Life !

An old quotable quote goes like, "Those worried about what would happen to next generation should stop worrying. The next generation will grow up and start worrying about next generation". Quite right !

In 1987, when Sunil Gavaskar retired, everyone was asking, "After Sunny, who ?" This was the worry on the minds of every Indian Cricket fan. We had Mohammed Azaruddin followed by Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, Saurav Ganguly, VVS Laxman, Virendar Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir. An entire golden generation of batting stalwarts.

Today, Dada Ganguly is long gone. The Wall retired before the season began and VVS has hung his wrists at the beginning of the ongoing series. A lot of people would love to see Sachin Tendulkar bat till he is 100. But he has to go sooner than later. For all the doubters, there have always been people like me, who believed everyone including Tendulkar will some day be replaced.

The recent humongous exploits of Virat Kohli in ODI Cricket and the wonderful century of Cheteshwar Pujara at Hyderabad has once again proved this as a fact of life.

Are they talking about next generation ?

India's batting is in safe hands. It always will be. Retiring now won't be selfish Mr. Tendulkar but fairly appropriate. If you retire before a tough tour of Australia or South Africa, then THAT would be considered selfish.

10 - 12 years from today, Cricket lovers in India will be worried, "Who after Che, Virat and Co ?"

Sahir Ludhiyanvi's Classic Poetry immortalized by Khayyam's music and Mukesh's voice quite sums up the essence of life. Time and tide truly wait for none and all of us will become history someday. Yes, even Usain Bolt, Rajnikanth and Sachin Tendulkar !

मुझसे पहेले कितने शायर आये और आकर चले गए
कुछ आहें भर कर लौटगए कुछ नाघ्मे गाकर चले गए
वह भी एक पल का किस्सा थे, मै भी एक पल का किस्सा हूँ
कल तुमसे जुदा हो जाऊंगा वह आज तुम्हारा हिस्सा हूँ !

कल और आयेंगे नाघ्मों की खिलती कलियाँ चुननेवाले
मुझसे बहेतर कहेनेवाले तुमसे बहेतर सुननेवाले
कल कोई मुझको याद करे, क्यूँ कोई मुझको याद करे
मसरूफ ज़माना मेरे लिए क्यूँ वक़्त अपना बर्बाद करे ?



SPun Doctor Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Why Cricket is Religion in the Land of Zero ?

 Why Cricket is Religion in the Land of Zero ? Or Why Cricket is Mathematics ?

Disclaimer: This is an original research article and hence might appear extremely long. Any perceived humor in any part of this article is unintended and is purely accidental like the 23.5 degree bend of Saeed Ajmal's elbow. If any part / parts of this piece appear disjointed like Suresh Raina's technique, that too is coincidental. The author holds all copyrights over the article. Any reproduction of any part of this post done any time in the past by anyone should be considered as pardonable acts of flattery.

While I was bothered by India missing out on an Asia Cup Final berth, most of India was busy celebrating Tendulkar’s 100^th 100. So I was wondering, “Is there something wrong with me ? Why am I hurt so much when even the players don’t appear to be hurt by losing the Asia Cup crown they had held thus far ?”

A Soccer fan on Facebook who hates Cricket pestered me a lot the other day. He refused to recognize Cricket World Cup and believed Soccer fans are jovial and Cricket fans turn violent if someone derides Cricket. He used a lot of convoluted logic and then demanded that I must give up on Cricket because I happen to be a Doctor and because one of his teachers believed Cricket meant Crick [whatever that meant].

After banishing him to pavilion, oops oblivion; I sat down and thought; “Why is Cricket so popular in India ? And why do I love it so much ?”. Since I am a hardcore Indian, who has never ventured out of the borders, if I find an answer to why Indians love Cricket so much, we’ll know the answer to why I love it so much !

Here is what I have come to understand why the game is so humongous in India ! The reason is Cricket is a religion in India and we knew it long ago. We have the proof for that and will give a link at the end of this post.

We Indians found out ‘Zero’ and we hold on to the Zero with all the love, affection and even jingoism. We celebrate ‘Numbers’ and Mathematics. Just take a look at our festivals, “Nav Ratra or Dusshera”. They denote numbers. Just imagine the Australians referring to the Don as “99.94 Sir Don Bradman” ! That never happens. But we revere our Swamis with “108 Sri So and So Swami” and “1008 Sri So and So Swami” and so on.

I am often confused about our rituals ‘Sahasra Kumbhabhishekam’, ‘Laksharchana’, “Shata-Koti Rama-naama Japa Utsav” and many such magnificent numbers. I don’t know if we are celebrating the Gods or the numbers. No wonder we are brought up with imposition like “Write this 500 times”.

When someone completes 84 years and 4 months, we celebrate "Sahasra Poorna Chandra Darshan" that indicates the person has witnessed 1000 full moons. That is apart from the small numbers like "Shasti poorti" or 60th birthday or "Sapthathi" or 70th birthday. We also celebrate western influenced Silver, Golden, Diamond and Platinum jubilees. We are a land of an over a billion number of people who love celebrating numbers and landmarks; more the merrier !

We have a Trinity of Gods and many Cricket fanatic Indians equate the 3 Stumps to the 3 Gods; Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. We have 33 Crore Gods and we adore a man with over 33,000 international runs as God. How we love our bloated numbers can be understood by taking a look at our ‘Puranas’. 

The creator Brahma had four heads. Vishnu had four hands and Shiva had a ‘Third eye’. Cricket maniacs would love to compare Shiva with ‘Third Umpire’ or the four hands of Vishnu with a ‘Boundary Hit’. A ‘Sixer’ will be equated to ‘Shanmukha’ the God with six faces who went around the world on a peacock, again the national bird of India.

Imagine what Ravan would have done as a Bowler !

Even our villains were no lesser. Ravan was supposed to have had 10 heads, though one always wonders how he managed symmetry and equilibrium with that rather odd looking even number of heads. If Ravan were to play Cricket, would he be considered as one player or ten different players ? Very tough question before the ICC. Thankfully I am not on the ICC and neither is Ravan playing Cricket today.

Cricket Sri Lanka would have done their best to prove that was a congenital deformity that he was born with 10 heads and 20 hands. Murali with just 2 hands was more than a handful for the batsmen. Imagine the confusion the batsman would have faced as to which hand was Ravan going to bowl. Just mind-boggling !

Well, I have digressed from numbers to Ravan. Let me come back to Cricket and the love for numbers. No other sport celebrates numbers like Cricket. We have half-century, century, double century, triple century, quadruple century and a fifty between each landmark. We have five-for as a matter of celebration for a bowler and then 10 wickets in a match. We have seen different kinds of celebrations by different batsmen on reaching the coveted mark. Why a century ? We even had a player do an impromptu dance on the pitch after hitting a six !

Every time Sachin Tendulkar steps on the ground, he is creating a new record. He will retire with the record of holding the most number of records in any sport. I think he already has crossed a century of them; the number of records he is holding.

Every moment in a Cricket match brings out numbers. Kids who play or watch Cricket regularly will be very sound in Mathematics. They will calculate the required run-rate after every over and will be full and thorough with their fractions. How a required rate of 6.15 RPO becomes 6.67 after a maiden over; only a Cricket kid can tell. No other kids can do the Maths in the mind like the Cricket kids. The economy rate, the RPO, the batting average, the bowling average and the strike rate; Cricket has numbers within numbers within numbers and then more numbers, records and then Sachin Tendulkar.

Most of the games and sporting events are over and done within minutes, hours or at worst a day. Mike Tyson had once finished a boxing bout even before people could settle down in their seats. Whereas a Cricket Test match lasts almost a third of an entire Olympic game or a Grand-slam Tennis tourney, 2 days longer than the Davis Cup Final and almost as long as a North Indian wedding discounting the first night. Cricket is nothing but pure and unadulterated Mathematics simplified and made enjoyable for all age groups !

Diving deeper into the matter of Maths, Cricket is played inside an Oval with a quadrilateral pitch in the middle with cylindrical stumps on both ends of the pitch. The ball is a perfect sphere, though it can change shapes when certain highly talented bowlers are in action. The bat and ball have specified weight and size guidelines. We have square cut and square drive which actually are played square of the wicket but somehow end up at point or third-man.

The good batsman is expected to play within the 'V' or the triangle. A bowler's wrist, elbow and the shoulder should have prescribed angles unless he is born with a deformity or has acquired one due to an accident. The concepts of 'line and length' can never be explained better in any other sport. Ajit Agarkar and Irfan Pathan will stand testimony to this. Ask Sehwag about the horizontal bat and Dravid about the straight bat. This simply is a limitless list.

Look at the fielding places. Silly point isn't silly at all; they place the best fielder there. We have slips from where thing very rarely slip. Then there is square leg and squarish gully. Fine Third man from one side becomes long on from the other. Mid-wicket is actually far from the mid point of the wicket. Covers and extra-covers often uncover the best of Cricket.

An Indian's love for Cricket is nothing but an extension of the love for numbers and Mathematics. And people think we are crazy, lazy, unproductive and waste time. Far from it, we actually celebrate Mathematics which is the foundation of all that is Science. Those who don't know Cricket will never understand this. In fact, I strongly believe those who hate Cricket are actually bad in Mathematics. I vehemently recommend, we should teach Cricket to all our kids to drive the fear of Mathematics from their minds !

All original research articles tend to be quite long like this one had turned out to be. There already is a Prequel to this. Readers who haven't exhausted their patience or slept off or not lost consciousness are advised to revise their knowledge with the help of the exhaustive original research article.

We will come back with more details, once people are able to read, understand and digest this piece of wisdom !

SPun Doctor

100 Things that will happen Thanks to 100th 100 !

Finally 'THAT' thing is out of our system. 'THAT' was eating into us like a worm, like a Cancer and like a pain in the arse. That thing every second Indian was bothered by and which in turn used to bother every first Indian.

It was so bad, even our Finance Minister dished out a dead duck for a budget. It was in fact so bad, even Anna Hazare forgot to fast. It was so miserably bad that Kapil Sibal had become redundant and people had forgotten Digvijay Singh.

People hardly realized India lost 8 successive overseas tests by margins that got larger and larger. The whole team was busy thinking "Have I made it Large Enough ?". They couldn't even beat a quarter strength West Indies convincingly and mostly scraped through a home test series.

The retirement of Rahul Dravid was brushed off with, "Well of course, he was there too. Fine, let's say bye to him". During his press conference, more people were interested to know Rahul's opinion on when 'THAT' would happen ?"

We haven't measured if he lost 50 kilos, but the team certainly lost at least 25 runs thanks to the crawl. And 'THAT' celestial event has finally happened and it has not sunk in yet. But it did sink the team against Bangladesh and in turn out of the Asia Cup Final.

Virat Kohli can go on playing blinders to give India a chance to qualify for the Finals. But for most of us, only ONE thing mattered. It was 'THAT' milestone. India return home empty-handed with the aluminum spoon [Sri Lanka took the wooden spoon]. But what the heck ? We have the record, right ?

No Asia Cup, So what ? We have a Milestone !

But on the positive side; finally, well and truly the damned 100th 100 is done and over with. One man's milestone had become a millstone around the neck for 'Ten' more people inside the team and a billion outside. Here is a list of 100 things that are bound to happen now and we can say, "Thank You Sachin !"

1] Team India can play 'Normal' Cricket now and not be bothered by when 'THAT' would happen.

2] Suresh Raina will finally raise above the short ball and manage to keep it down..

3] Sachinists will finally realize there are 11 members in a Cricket team [hopefully].

4] Virat Kohli will carry the burden of the No. 3 and not only the 'Finger No. 3'

5] Some day in near future, when Sachin Tendulkar scores a 100, Team India will actually win a match.

6] Irfan Pathan will bowl 6 good balls in an over.

7] Virendar Sehwag will finally be dropped for non-performance and 'not merely be rested'.

8] Gautam Gambhir will begin to run sensibly; between the wickets I mean.

9] Dhoni will finally win a toss when it matters or even when it doesn't.

10] Team India will manage to draw an overseas test.

Since we all are already exhausted by a 100th 100, I don't want the readers [howsoever small the number might be] to suffer another torture. So here I 'retire', hoping to be at least 10 kilos lesser after this ordeal !

Congratulations Bangladesh for making the Finals of Asia Cup by beating 2 stronger teams convincingly. You deserve to be in the Final because you don't have anyone even closer to 10 centuries, leave alone 100. Good for you !

And Thank You Sachin !





SPun Doctor

BCCI Agenda for Resurrection of Cricket !

Team India Down Under, Down Under: How to lift them up ?

Team  India's worst tour of Australia is on and things are getting worse by the day. Let us look at the pre-tour hype and the situation that prevailed and then how things have unfolded since the fall of Tendulkar at the fag end of day-2 at Melbourne. From 214/2, India have just withered away and wilted.

Australia were in dire straits. They were beaten by New Zealand and were bowled out for 48 by South Africa very recently. Ponting and Hussey have been out of form for longer than anyone could care to remember. They were going to miss the Iconic All-rounder Shane Watson and Pat Cummins from the beginning. Harris and Marsh missed half of the test and then James Pattinson got injured. Thus good number of cream of the present Aussie team have missed the major part of Cricket that has been played so far.

India on the other hand were in full strength with the exception of Praveen Kumar. So this was touted as India's best chance to win a test series down under. But what has happened how ? First test was lost on day 5, second on day 4 and third within minutes of lunch break on day 3. At this rate, the Adelaide test might get over on day-2. Srikkanth is totally devastated and Dhoni has declared himself to be the main culprit. The BCCI believes the performance has not been up to the mark.

Hence a very high level meeting of the BCCI, Selectors and former players was held. Since it was to be a high level and top secret meeting, it was held at Siachen Glacier. Whatever happened in the meeting has been recorded in the minutes. But all that can't be divulged. BCCI has come out with an agenda for the resurrection of Team India and the fortunes of Indian Cricket. And the document has been forwarded to ICC.

The 10 point agenda the BCCI has approved for the rejuvenation of Cricket.

01] Ghaas Poos is serious health hazard: The main problem seems to be Indians are allergic to grass and that hampers their performance seriously. Hence no grass should be allowed to exist on any pitch where India have to play. Even Ivan Lendle had declared, "Grass is for cows". Indian players are not cows, they are Tigers. Tigers at home to be precise. So henceforth ICC should make sure that a herd of cows is deployed at all venues where Team India are to play test matches. The grazing cows will ensure the pitch will be devoid of grass. And all the hoof marks will makes sure our spinners can get purchase from day one. 

02] Speed Breakers: We all know speed thrills but it also kills. All the speed bowling in England and India has almost killed Indian Cricket. ICC 'must' realize almost two thirds of revenue filling the ICC coffers comes from Indian Cricket, if not three fourths. If Indian supporters stop watching Cricket, ICC can shut shop. So all fast bowlers operating against India 'must' be fitted with speed-breakers with immediate effect. None should bowl faster that 125kmph or whatever is the average speed at which Vinay Kumar bowled in the previous match; whichever is slower. 

03] Three day Tests: When India travel abroad, all tests should be restricted to just 3 days and not 5 days. We first have to give them a realistic chance to draw a test before we can think of winning again. And during these 3 days, lunch break should be extended to 90 minutes and tea break to 30 minutes. The breaks happen to be the best part of tests played by India these days, because no wickets fall during these period. This also ensures a lot more scope for advertizements and that means more money for ICC. 

04] No Slip ups please: "Indian batsmen are like faithful husbands, they perform only at home", tweeted Poonam Pandey. But an insider from Team India camp on conditions of anonymity has declared, "Indian players are disappointed that Poonam has not kept her word of stripping if India won the World Cup. Hence they are disappointed". The faithful husbands that they are, they hate all the gossiping by the Aussie wicket-keeper and slip fielders. Hence no slip fielders should be allowed to stand within the 30 yard circle when Indian 'Top Order Batsmen' bat. 

05] Field restrictions: It has been noticed by BCCI that too many fielders are seen in the field blocking his shots when Rahul Dravid is batting. Though that is distracting him, the gentleman has never complained. But it is distracting him and he is falling over his own feet to be bowled again and again and then again. So he should be allowed to make 3 changes in the field when he bats. He is the first and only Indian to support the lie-detector test suggested by ICC. Hence he should get this privilege to place 3 fielders of his choice anywhere he wants to. That could even be the dressing room. 

06] Save Tigers Campaign: Tigers and Indian batsmen have many things in common. The main thing in common is both are endangered species. Whole world is campaigning to save tigers. We advocate with equal fervor for a campaign to save our 'Tigers at home'. Henceforth, Team India should be allowed to play all away tests in India. To differentiate home and away tests, ESPN-Star Sports will telecast 'away series' and any channel chosen by BCCI will telecast home matches. This is more than enough for people to differentiate a home and away series. 

07] The Demons to be exorcised: Some channels believe there are demons in the mind of Sachin Tendulkar that are preventing him from scoring the hundredth ton. Those demons seem to be affecting the entire team too. Whatever has to be done to exorcise the demons must be done and an away series against Bangladesh followed by one against Zimbabwe should be arranged; both to be played in India. Once he gets his century of century, all the pressure will be off and Indians can get back to the business of playing Cricket. 

08] Benefits of IPL not being utilized: IPL is a magnificent event with a lots of glamor, lights, action, champagne, cheer girls, beer girls and Vijay Mallya. But what is the use ? Many of these selfish English and Australian Cricketers avoid IPL and concentrate only on their national teams. This is making Test Cricket a lopsided contest. Poor selfless Indians are toiling to play IPL, CL-T20, ODIs, Tests and if they get spare time, they also play Cricket with kids and Moms in the rain. They do all this even at the cost of West Indies tour. These selfish guys like Clarke and Cook should be immediately made to sign up for IPL. If they don't relent, they should be barred from playing international Cricket. We believe in providing everyone with a level playing field with lots of cracks in the pitches and no grass as mentioned earlier. 

09] Word Cricket means India: Today, World Cricket and even the 'Word' Cricket means India. We don't have to elaborate on this. If India go on getting humiliated like this on every tour and end up at the bottom of the table, people of India will give up on Cricket as Rahul Dravid rightly suspects. That means Cricket will be dead. Hence we must ensure Team India get enough chances to win and our Tigers get to feast on runs. Hence not only Zimbabwe and Kenya but UAE, Nepal, Bhutan, Afghanistan, Scotland, Greenland and every land possible should be given Test status immediately so that there are enough teams to be beaten by India. We suspect Ireland might turn out to be dangerous, hence it is better to avoid them. 

10] Final nail: DRS, Hawk eye, Eagle eye, Umpires, Third Umpires and Match Referees; all these entities have conspired to undermine Indian Cricket over the years. Hence in the larger interest of saving Cricket, the entire responsibility of running Cricket administration should be immediately handed over to an able body with 'rich' experience. Since we see nobody 'richer' than the BCCI, we deem it fit that the ICC must be immediately handed over to IPL Governing body to 'enrich' Cricket !

We believe all these measures will help in reaping short term as well as long term benefits for the financial security of Cricket. Hence ICC should follow these guidelines with immediate effect.


Signed/-


BCCI
IPL Governing body
Indias Selectors
Former Players
Team India [Signed from Go karting club in Perth]


Copy to all Cricket fans.




SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Pom Pom Pom: Every Donkey has a Day !

Team  India's graph and my blogging curve seem to be related; though unintentionally. The World Cup victory had left me contented for some time and I wrote on IPL only because it was relaxing to write when you didn't have to worry about 'One Team' you love.

I was disappointed by the defensive Cricket played in West Indies and the whole of England tour was a nightmare to be best forgotten as soon as possible. But somewhere during the series, I had tweeted, "Every dog has a day and today belongs to Pomeranian".

Their Test series win was comprehensive though too many things went wrong for India. But their ODI win was plain lucky. The arrogance of the Neo-No.1 team was oozing and pouring from every orifice as the humbled Team India's body language went down to Antarctica.

I stuck to my tweet and was pretty sure Team India will see better days soon. Exactly during the slump of Team India, I too was not able to follow Cricket the way I usually do, thanks to some personal issues apart from a hectic professional life. Hence the posts here dwindled and perhaps saved me from writing much negative about my favorite team.

After having thumped England thoroughly, Team India have vindicated my faith in them and that of millions of fans. All good things will have to come to an end and all bad things too will have to come to an end. Dhoni and his boys are back and they are bleeding blue !

Considering the fact that Team India have Sachin, Viru, Yuvi, Zaheer and Nehra missing from our best possible 11, this win augurs well for the future. Add the first choice replacements like Rohit, Ishant, Sreesanth, Munaf, Vijay, Dinesh Karthik and Badri to the list. And due to form and selection issues, Yusuf Pathan and Bhajji too are not playing. That means this is at best India B-Plus Team, not even India-A !

Mission Accomplished : Captain Accomplished !

For all the criticism they faced during the English tour, Team India showed exemplary behavior during the whole tour. We are witnessing how the English players are behaving when the fortune has taken a 'U' turn. Dhoni very slyly yet very rightly pointed out during post-match presentation during the second ODI.

There is a huge gulf of class between these two teams. One knows how to behave even when the chips are down. The other is downright arrogant and almost vainglorious. Having criticized Dhoni's calling Bell decision, I feel the laws of natural forces have caught up with the Poms quite very soon.

Some of the statements by English experts and press during the England tour went like this...

Geoffrey Boycott: "India look a pale shadow of an ordinary team"
Nasser Hussain: "There were a few donkeys out there in the field today..."

Some extremely inconsiderate Indian critics and tweeters have called some of the players in this English team, donkeys. That is unfortunate and totally abusive. Some went to the extent of tweeting, "Some of the English players looked like pale shadows of donkeys out there"

We should respect our guests. "Athithi Devo Bhava" - Treat the guest like God.
So please stop this nonsense now !

Post Script: The animal kingdom isn't very proud to be associated with the English Team that has turned out in this series so far ! And the hardworking and efficient donkeys have protested saying, "We consider this blasphemous. We are always well behaved even if people consider us sloppy. We wouldn't be rude and obnoxious when we know we are in deep shit. So we want all this abuse to stop immediately"

Every Donkey has a Day !

SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Mahi Way: Rear-view Vision of a Victorious Journey !

Feels like it was a dream and then feels like it has come true. No need to pinch oneself. That six was as Dhoni as Dhoni ever was. 

Mahi Way !

Ever since Praveen 'Pehelwan' Kumar got injured and India went in with Piyush, Sreesanth, Munaf and Nehra, I have been vocal in my criticism of selection and the way Team India played. I never gave them a chance of winning actually till the last 2 overs.

Spare a thought for me and many like me. Why did I do what I did ? Very simple. I have said it before. My love, admiration and adulation for Team India is boundless. It is just that it hurts badly when they lose. Even though they have won more often than not in recent years, it still hurts when they lose. Especially so if that happens in the Finals. And India had lost 7 out of the 9 Finals they have played against Sri Lanka before this one.

So if you keep criticizing and finding faults, you have better chances of absorbing the shock of a defeat. And a Win will be that much sweeter. So for all those negatives I spewed about Dhoni and his Blue Blooded Brethren, I am not going to eat crow because I am a vegetarian.

I loved them after they lost 2003 World Cup Finals. I defended them after those two T-20 World Cup disasters. I almost assassinated Greg Chappell after the 2007 World Cup first round exit. And today, I am ecstatic and over the Moon like all fellow Indians.

Turning back, let us take a look at some interesting subplots through the journey that was. 

The Journey that was

For India, the journey began with 'Taming the Bengal Tiger' at Mirpur. On the way they scratched past the minnows, tied the Poms and stumbled but once against Springboks. Then they regrouped to knock the Kangaroos out. There came the Mother of all matches and the arch enemy was vanquished at Mohali. The road show came to a grand finale in Mumbai where they signed off "Slaying the Lions" ! 

Current Affairs

Dean Jones said, "Dhoni is dreaming if he thinks India can win". Border thought Sri Lanka will be too strong for India and Steve Waugh rated Sri Lanka as favorites. Mark Taylor declared after India's win against Pakistan that Pakistan had better chances of beating Sri Lanka but India would be easy meat for the Lankan Lions. Only Ricky Ponting declared after his team's quarterfinal debacle that India will not only beat Pakistan in Semifinals but will also go onto win the World Cup. It was 4 former Australian Stars vs 1 Current Captain.

Moral of the Story: Current Opinion matters because you've seen the balls on ground, not on LCD TV ! 

Toss ka Boss : Caught Cheating ?

Sanga: Tails I Win, Heads I win Too !

Sanga perhaps cheated,

Pushpakumara bleated.

All the others Tweeted,

And Dhoni just Batted !

Okay, You take the Toss,

That'll be the only Loss,

For me, nothing is gross. 

In the end, I am the Boss !

And the Spirit of Cricket literally went for a 'Toss' once again in an India - Sri Lanka match after la affaire Randiv !

Sehwagging: 175 - 0 in Six weeks

Viru 'Revenge' Sehwag started the proceedings with such a flourish against Bangladesh that all our middle order batsmen became complacent. His 175 curtain raiser spoiled them and there were too many collapses. So Viru decided enough is enough and went downhill. He creamed Gul in the semi-final before Riaz fixed him and Indian batting crippled after that. So Viru opened with a 'duck' in the Finals and Gautam and Mahi came to party !

Awful Taufel

This man must be rated the best Umpire of all times. In an era when the job is coming under increasing scrutiny, this man stands 'tall and handsome'. He had 11 Challenges against his on field calls. 10 were correct and the eleventh was inconclusive. The benefit of doubt always goes to batsmen. Not very fair ! Aleem Dar too was fabulous.

Day of Poonam Pandey

India did win. We all know that and Rajnikant has confirmed that what we saw on Saturday actually was a full length highlight of the match he watched on Friday the First of April. So where is Poonam Pandey ? We are waiting for the date and the day !

Best Team need not Win 

South Africa by far were the best team this time around. They had the fabulous top-4 and Duminy at 5 and a cool Du Plessis. Their fielding has always been class act. Nothing special about it. Most importantly they had the finest variety of bowling attack. Two world class quickies. One classic leg spinner. One nice left arm spinner and then Botha. How on earth can one team be so unlucky in knock out stages ?

The Series of the Man 

Thousands of short messages and emails did the rounds questioning his fitness, flair and form. Runs were hard to come. In spite of making fun of his fitness, I had predicted before the Cup that India's fortunes will rest on the fitness and form of 'One Man'. 4 Man of the matches. Runs in crunch moments. 2 successful chases under lights and tremendous stress. Wickets whenever his Captain asked him to bowl. What more can a man do ? This world cup was about 2 Individuals. Shahid Khan Afridi went out due to his batting follies. Yuveraj Singh made this World Cup his own with a magnificent All Round show ! Take a Bow Yuvi, you deserve all the accolades !

About Pakistan and Shahid Afridi

Pakistan played very good Cricket. They came across a well knit bunch who played for their Talisman like Captain Shahid Khan Afridi. I would have loved to see them in final. Alas ! They had just 2 bad days. Given some kind of support, they will go a long way. And please throw Senator Rehaman Malik into dungeons along with Ijaz Butt.

About Minnows 

All about Ryan ten Doeschate, Ireland, 2 successful 300+ chases, Kevin O'Brien, fastest World Cup Century, George Dockrell, Paul Stirling and too many useless matches. Give Ireland more exposure and perhaps a Test Status by 2015 should be theirs.

About some Great Men

Some really great men have played their last world cup matches. Ricky Ponting left a heart broken man with his winning streak broken. Murali left without much of an impact when it mattered. Sachin had his moments and charmed lives. He fell at the doorstep of history. But his team didn't let him down for once. He will walk away a contented man.

At another level, Sehwag, Brett Lee, Kallis, Peitersen, Strauss, Collingwood, Dilshan, Mahela, Sanga, Zaheer Khan, Shoaib Akhtar, Younis Khan and Hussey too might have played their last world cup matches. Malinga has declared he might not play another world cup.

Cricket will find new Stars and Brand Ambassadors for the Future. Virat Kohli, Umar Akmal, Tharanga, ABDV and many more will come. But we will miss the 'Greats' mentioned above. Especially 2015 World Cup might open as the first World Cup in 23 years not to feature a certain Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar !

And a Solemn Wish 

Let us all make a solemn wish that Pakistan will find a genuine Wicket Keeper before the 2015 World Cup !

SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

A Cup for Mr. Tendulkar : But how do we do it ?

I had written why India will struggle to win the ongoing World Cup. I know it was a little too dark and gloomy. I too want India to Win a World Cup for Mr. Sachin Tendulkar. But how do we manage do it ?

THIS is how we are going to do it ! Please read it on my blog @ Die Hard Cricket Fans !


S-Pun Doctor

Super Sub to be Back ?

BCCI have requested the ICC to bring back the Super-Sub into ODI Cricket with immediate effect. It is believed the ICC too is keen on this. Here are the reasons for this sudden decision...

Look at the embarrassing situation the 'Poor Indian Selectors' are facing while they sit to select the Indian 11 for any of the World Cup Matches !

1] Sachin Tendulkar - My God ! He IS there !
2] Virendar Sehwag - Naam toh t-suna-mi hoga !
3] Gautam Gambhir - He is Seriously there - No Choice !
4] Virat Kohli - How can India afford to drop their Top Scorer of 2010 ?
5] Yuveraj Singh - Even a half fit Yuvi is better than many fully fit players !
6] Suresh Raina - Fielding and his floating nature make him inevitable !
7] Mahendra Dhoni - Captain and Wicket-Keeper can't drop him !
8] Harbhajan Singh - How can they drop a Bowling All-rounder ?
9] Zaheer Khan - He is India's Premier Bowler and Can bat a bit too !
10] Praveen Kumar - The Street Smart Pahelwan will be an asset once match-fit !
11] Sreesanth - We all know he is a wicket taking bowler !
12] Ashish Nehra - Has done enough to merit a place here !

Vijay, Parthiv Patel, Munaf Patel, Rohit Sharma, Saurabh Tiwari, Che Pujara, Robin Uthappa, Ishant Sharma, Jadeja, Ojha and many more are in contention too. Unfortunately they can't play Two Indian Teams !

So where does this leave our You-super Pathan ?
Imagine the Crowd support he can bring in after what he has done tonight !
Can they afford to miss out on one of the Biggest Potential Match Winner and Crowd Puller ?

NO...

So what is the solution ?

The Top half can win us 'Won' matches; I mean the well played matches !
Yusuf can win us the 'Lost' matches; those are the not so well played matches !
Bring in Yusuf Pathan for whoever is having an 'Off-Day' !
Even better, we can bring in any one for anyone not doing well on that day.
Make You-super Sub Pathan our Match Winner !





S-Pun Doctor

Random musings after two Murdered Tests !

After two immensely forgettable Tests with New Zealand, what have we got to remember, learn and carry home ? 

Indian Cricket is so very complex: Quite like Harbhajan Singh's Technique. You can never say Bhajji lacks technique. But neither can you you say he has it. Just like Team India. You can't say they are No. 1 Test Team. You can't say they aren't No. 1 either ! 

They always play on level ground: They play every opponent at their level; that is the opponent's level. Never expect Team India to crush weaklings. Never expect them to capitulate easily against the best. There will be a fight. Nothing less, nothing more. 

Why is the Indian middle order confused ? Answer is simple. First Jatman Viru Sehwag goes out and bashes everything in sight as if he were Dharmendra and the bowlers, the baddies. And then Rahul Dravid comes out with his brand of Gandhigiri and refuses to hit anything ! No wonder Dhoni, Raina and even Sachin look lost in the middle. 

The Great Indian Run Rate: India have over the past 3 years maintained a better run rate compared to all other teams in Tests. What is the secret ? This has been partly explained above. Sehwag wags to attain a strike rate of 100% or an average of 6 RPO. Dravid lags and attains a strike rate of 25% or about 1.5 RPO. The other confused lot fall in between at 42% or 2.5 RPO. Thus India manage to keep the total scoring rate above 3.3 RPO. 

The All Rounders problem solved: Bhajji is the answer to India's long standing prayers for a Batting All-rounder. Sending him to bat at No. 8 is a master-stroke. India's middle order actually starts here with very competent batsmen like Zaheer, Ojha and Sreesanth to follow. And just think of it, Ishant Sharma is not even playing. What an embarrassment of riches.

Suresh Raina finally has arrived as the Bowling All-rounder. So what if he has got more wickets than the runs he has scored of late ? Anyway we now have two genuine All-rounders !

Taking responsibility, Indian style: Whenever Team India are in trouble, someone or the other stands up to be counted. The 'Someone' is Laxman and the 'Other' is Harbhajan Singh ! 

This series is not about the 50th Century: Whom are they trying to fool ? Every member of the Team is so preoccupied with this number, they have actually forgotten there is a Test series going on. Anything else happening out there is an irritant. No wonder the Kiwis have taken flight after being grounded by Bangladesh !

Then some 'Random' acceptance Speeches... 

Bhajji: People threw brick-bats at me and I used the bricks to construct Milestones in Mohali and the bats to score two centuries ! 

Gambhir: I owe my performance in this test to Viru and Rahul. While Viru went on like Viru, nobody noticed me. Those who did notice, thought Rahul batted left handed at the other end. 

Dravid: I am relieved now because there is someone to take over my mantle now. I was totally confused while I watched Gambhir bat. I often felt I was out there in the middle and batting left handed. 

Sehwag: New Zealand is an ordinary team. It is just that some of us are wasting too many four balls. I have to make up for everyone including Sreesanth. I would prefer if Bhajji comes out to bat at No. 3 and Rahul comes out only if we have to face follow on. 

Raina: I play my natural game as Dhoni has asked me to. What if they keep three men on the boundary ? I can always come back and play the next innings or the next or the next... 

Laxman: I enjoy playing under pressure. I am forever indebted to my team-mates for providing me with ample opportunities to do so. It is such a pleasure, almost like sitting inside the pressure cooker used by my Mom to prepare idlees. What if you are steam cooked practically every test ? Idlees do taste Delicious ! 

Dhoni:  We have to accept we have not batted well and our bowlers have tried their level best to match the batsmen. Our fielding can be better and the wicket-keeping particularly needs some improvement. Overall though I am satisfied with our performance. You win some, you draw some and you can always drop some catches.

McCullum: Bhajji inspired me to go for the Double Ton. If he can score two hundreds in two innings, I can score two hundred in one innings. Impossible is nothing ! 

Vettori: We have come back strongly after the Bangladesh debacle. Aussies lost 2-0 in 2 Tests in India. So we are better than them now. I believe my new born baby deserves all the credit for this.

And last but not the Least !

Curator: I hoped I will be remembered as the man who prepared the pitch on which Sachin Tendulkar scored his 50th Hundred. Alas, Everyone else scored here except Sachin !





S-Pun Doctor

Zulaqrnain Hyder goes into Hiding; The Real Story !

Five unrelated headlines that perhaps are closely related !

Now let us see if and how they are related...

1] I was Rubbish 5 years ago: Swann !

Swann says he 'was' rubbish 5 years ago. Which should mean he doesn't think he is rubbish now. That  definitely is a great or ominous sign before the Ashes depending upon which side you are supporting ! 

2] Best Still to Come: Strauss !

Strauss believes 'their best' is yet to come. Which means the progress from rubbish to Swann is not the end of progress ! And that implies Aussies have a job on hand.

3] My Teammates respect my Captaincy: Clarke !

Clarke in the meanwhile doesn't want to sound intimidated. But he isn't confident about his own Teammates. So he says his 'Aussie Teammates' respect him. So are there 'Non-Aussie Teammates' in the Aussie Team now ? People from the other world believe this team is full of them ! 

4] Tendulkar Better than Bradman: Zaheer Abbas !

Zaheer Abbas for one is one such chap. He has no respect for the current Aussies including Mike Hussey and Marcus North. So much so, he has gone on record and declared 'The God' to be better than 'The Don' ! Last heard that Obama is planning to hire Zaheer Abbas to solve all the outstanding Indo-Pak issues !

5] PCB Send Legal Notice to Arthur !

And as a clear indicator of Pakistan softening its stand towards long-standing enemy India, PCB has warned Mickey Arthur with dire consequences. There is no mention of India, BCCI or any Indian in any part of their latest salvo. That is such a big relief !

As a further goodwill gesture, PCB has offered to play India in a home series to be played in Sri Lanka. The team will be lead by both Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan. MoYo will lead from one end and Y2K from the other. As usual, Afridi will be the Captain !

The PCB's Arthur threat package includes bombarding Arthur with Bigg no balls courtesy Dolly of Bigg Boss with Veena Malik for expert help. They also plan to fix him in a match with Rakhi Sawant on next edition of Rakhi ka Swayam-war ! Appointing him as the next Pakistan Coach too has been mooted as one of the harsher punishments.

No wonder the poor guy got scared beyond words. If anyone talking against 'Match Fixing' has to face all this, it isn't worth it. If Mickey Arthur can be subjected to such unbelievable torture, what will a puny little substitute of Kamran Akmal do ? He has to 'Hide' because his name says so...

So...

Zulaqrnain Hyder goes into Hiding !



S-Pun Doctor

Oh Kiwis, They Know Not What They've done !

The Bhajji, The Kiwis and The Peace of Mind of a Country !

New Zealand have always tormented India. Much worse than the South Africans, Steve Bucknor, Maoists and Pakistan sponsored Terrorists. India's records against Australia, Pakistan, England and West Indies have shown significant improvement over the past decade. But the Kiwis somehow have maintained a kind of enviable hold over the Indian psyche. Something like the Post-Miyandad Pakistan did for a long time.

This is true in spite of the fact that India managed to beat the Kiwis in Kiwi-land the last time they visited. But that win was a labored one. This can be explained by the fact that India always play at the level of opponents. Never crushing wins; almost always hard fought wins !

Chris Martin gave a glimmer of hope of an unbelievable win for the Kiwis last evening. But that perhaps was a ploy by the Indian top order to fool the visitors and then unleash Laxman once again on a day five pitch.

Laxman did what he is best at. He batted on and on and on till the frustrated Umpire Davies got him out. How can he remain not out for the third time in three tests on a day five wicket ? There should be some kind of respect for that dreaded entity !

But what the Kiwis have managed to do or rather not managed to do is what is going to hurt us Indians more and more in future.

No, it isn't Chris Martin's spell on day-4. We have seen and survived worse !

No, it isn't Kane Kane Williamson's maiden hundred on debut. We have seen that too !

No, it isn't Jesse Ryder either. Ryder somehow likes Indian bowling like Srisanth loves to make faces.

No, it isn't about denying Sachin Tendulkar his 50th test century. He will get that and we aren't worried.

No, it also isn't about Rahul Dravid managing to survive and thus keeping Pujara out for some more time.

It is about Harbhajan Singh's Century. For a long time now, he has threatened us with his 'All-round' abilities. The Aussies managed to keep him at bay. He has played some cameo knocks before and has saved some matches or helped in some wins.

But a Test Century had eluded him. It was this distinction that allowed us to sleep in peace. The peace assured by the fact that we can always ridicule Bhajji for his 'tall claims'. Alas, the peace of mind is decimated now.

Bhajji had declared himself as 'All-rounder' before the recent Australia series. And we all had a good laugh when he failed with the bat. Imagine a Century on a last day track for Bhajji. How will we survive the Centurion Harbhajan now ?

Oh They Know Not What They Have Done !





S-Pun Doctor

India Won !

India drubbed Australia by 7 wickets and saved the Indian fans a lot of stress and heartache !

If Mohali was won on an Oxygen cylinder, Bengaluru was a 'Smoother Delivery' !

2-0 is better than 1-0 and certainly much better than 1-1. Thanks Laxman !

"I don't like to count. I score and let others count": Sachin Tendulkar continues to grow up and nobody can help it ! 

Vijay finally has arrived. Gautam Gambhir should watch his steps ! 

Sehwag failed to cross 50 in a Test for the first time after 11 tests.
 Incidentally this coincides with his tongue wagging more than the bat ! 

Pujara has arrived. Che is here to stay !

Thanks Rahul for being 'The Wall' for all these years ! 
But I think it is time to say Dravid RIP [Retire In Peace] ! 

Raina needs to rein in his ODI and T-20 shots in Test Cricket !

Dhoni can do nothing wrong, including promoting Che today ! 

Bhajji the Batsman failed. Bhajji the bowler fared better ! 

Ojha is not Bedi, but we will settle for Ojha because he doesn't call Bhajji a Chucker ! 

Zaheer is an 'Old ball' and is better with the Old Ball ! Dhoni revers him !

Sreesanth still has the fire in the belly. But not much in the new ball !

Laxman was smiling like a sage at the post match celebrations, and why not ? 

Ishant Sharma gets his confidence back when he sees a certain Mr. Ponting in the opposition.
He deserves an applause too ! 

Kudos to Gary Kirsten, his support staff and his wards ! 

A wholesome Victory for a Team that looks more like a Number-1 Test Team now !

S-Pun Doctor