Showing posts with label Aussie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aussie. Show all posts

Sunday, March 24, 2013

The Aussie Annihilation: A Lazy Analysis !

Returning to "Doctoring the Balls" after the longest hiatus of almost half an year. It wasn't as if I was too occupied or had lost interest. It was just that I was lazy to compile a blog-post and was satisfied with short comments on the Social Media. Here I am just compiling some of them together; my take on the Annihilation of Aussies !

Chennai:

India's Opening pair reminds me so much of "Sholay". We have a Viru and a Vi-Jay and then there is a Coin Toss Dhoni NEVER wins !

Exasperated with the Aussie tail bothering our bowlers, Bhajji has declared, "India should ban wickets 8 / 9 / 10 or take them at the beginning of the innings !"

The Chennai pitch where India scored 572 and their last 3 wickets added 200 in less than 50 overs is a bonafide dodgy subcontinental minefield of a track not suitable for Test Cricket !

Question: What did Nathan tell Sachin Tendulkar that upset his rhythm before his fall ?
Answer: Saaraa shehar humen Lyon ke naam se jaanta hai !


Virat is now definitely ready to carry the burden of nation. Well deserved century ! 
 
Jadeja getting so much turn and 3 wickets on day-1 of a test means just one thing. This test might end before lunch on day-4, if not earlier !
 
Hyderabad:
 
The theme at Hyderabad was: Kai Po CHE ! 
 
Clarke survived a very close LBW of Jadeja. So Jaddu boy decided to take the law into his own hands and bowled him now ! 
 
Clarke gambled by declaring with 1 wicket still left. But Dhoni is a Master of the Gamble: He sent 2 Night Watchmen to Open !
 
Shane Watson's wife gives birth to their first child. Likely to be named Powerpoint Presentation-1 ! 
 
Michael Clarke will get out in all possible ways to Jadeja before the end of this series !
 
Ravindra jadeja should be immediately appointed Honorary Manager of all Government offices. He knows how handle Clarkes !
 
Cheteshwar Pujara and Murali Vijay have beaten Australia by an innings at Hyderabad !
 
Of the 4 suspended Australian players, only one is a Man [Usman]. Rest all are Sons [Watson, Pattinson, Johnson] !
 
If coach were to ask Bhajji to make a presentation, he'd've given him a glittering 'gift wrapped' "Presentation !" 
 
Haddin going to India: He is expected to Wade through troubled waters !
 
Mohali:
 
India's Population Control Board must hire M S Dhoni's services. He can eliminate many with his ways at the crease during tight chases !
 
Mickey Arthur has ordered Phil Hughes to buy a Pup or Dog that can eat his homework before the second innings !
 
Rajeev Shukla was quoted as, "Shikar Dhawan is the best thing to have happened to Indian Cricket since Rahul Gandhi !"
 
Inspired from the famous Bachchan dialoguie from "Sharaabi": "Mooche Ho to ho Shikhar Dhawan jaisi, Nahin to naa ho !"
The Hundred Man and the Twirling Mustache
End of the road for the Viru-Gauty ? Too early to write them off but Dhawan, Vijay success means a happy Dhoni sans the Delhi-Bully gang !
 
Delhi:
 
Dhoni has won everything in this series except toss !
 
Jadeja will get two wickets lesser in Delhi test thanks to Clarke !
 
Jadeja can't give up on Australian Captains. Clarke nahin toh Watson sahi !
 
Jadeja completes an over in the time that Ishant takes to push back his hair into place !
 
Will Ojha spend 1 year on 99 ala Tendulkar ?
 
We soon might have ads like "This ball of the over sponsored by...blah blah" on NEO Prime TV !
 
I wonder why they didn't send Ajinkya Rahane to open. He has enough experience opening; the drinks bottles !
 
Indian middle order is like our bureaucracy. They sit in AC and order around. We people know they won't but we still expect them to deliver the goods !
  
Australia missed Clarke the bowler than the batsman. Jadeja too missed him, but the batsman !
 
Australia Captain Clarke has ''Declared'' they can take pride over the fact that India couldn't bowl them out 8 times in the series !
No more performance related worries for Mrs. Che Pujara !
Che Pujara's wife is totally satisfied and extremely happy with his performance !
 

SPun Doctor Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Zulaqrnain Hyder goes into Hiding; The Real Story !

Five unrelated headlines that perhaps are closely related !

Now let us see if and how they are related...

1] I was Rubbish 5 years ago: Swann !

Swann says he 'was' rubbish 5 years ago. Which should mean he doesn't think he is rubbish now. That  definitely is a great or ominous sign before the Ashes depending upon which side you are supporting ! 

2] Best Still to Come: Strauss !

Strauss believes 'their best' is yet to come. Which means the progress from rubbish to Swann is not the end of progress ! And that implies Aussies have a job on hand.

3] My Teammates respect my Captaincy: Clarke !

Clarke in the meanwhile doesn't want to sound intimidated. But he isn't confident about his own Teammates. So he says his 'Aussie Teammates' respect him. So are there 'Non-Aussie Teammates' in the Aussie Team now ? People from the other world believe this team is full of them ! 

4] Tendulkar Better than Bradman: Zaheer Abbas !

Zaheer Abbas for one is one such chap. He has no respect for the current Aussies including Mike Hussey and Marcus North. So much so, he has gone on record and declared 'The God' to be better than 'The Don' ! Last heard that Obama is planning to hire Zaheer Abbas to solve all the outstanding Indo-Pak issues !

5] PCB Send Legal Notice to Arthur !

And as a clear indicator of Pakistan softening its stand towards long-standing enemy India, PCB has warned Mickey Arthur with dire consequences. There is no mention of India, BCCI or any Indian in any part of their latest salvo. That is such a big relief !

As a further goodwill gesture, PCB has offered to play India in a home series to be played in Sri Lanka. The team will be lead by both Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan. MoYo will lead from one end and Y2K from the other. As usual, Afridi will be the Captain !

The PCB's Arthur threat package includes bombarding Arthur with Bigg no balls courtesy Dolly of Bigg Boss with Veena Malik for expert help. They also plan to fix him in a match with Rakhi Sawant on next edition of Rakhi ka Swayam-war ! Appointing him as the next Pakistan Coach too has been mooted as one of the harsher punishments.

No wonder the poor guy got scared beyond words. If anyone talking against 'Match Fixing' has to face all this, it isn't worth it. If Mickey Arthur can be subjected to such unbelievable torture, what will a puny little substitute of Kamran Akmal do ? He has to 'Hide' because his name says so...

So...

Zulaqrnain Hyder goes into Hiding !



S-Pun Doctor