Comings Soon: 5 IPL Movies

So the IPL is finally over... Sigh ! Thanks everybody and thank you Sachin !
Saurabh Tiwari is poster boy of IPL Bosses for finishing off with a DLF Maximum !

So now it is time for some entertainment.
And what way better than with some movies ?
Cricket and Cinema drive this nation crazy.
So here are 5 movies inspired by the IPL...
Coming Soon...

Pirate of the Caribbean

The Pirate 'Finally' Falls

Jilted by the West Indian Cricket board, an irate Christopher Henry wrecks Gayle storms in East Indian Cricket show piece. He slaughters the hapless bowlers before 'Finally' falling for the Super King's guile ! He walks away with individual laurels even as the Super Kings celebrate.

The Mommy Returns

The Turbanator and The Mommy !

The Turbanator lifted the Mommy last time around. Still the Mommy went home without a win. The claim was they lost 160 millions in 2010. They wanted a sequel with a hope to rake in the moolah. This time too, The Mommy Returns; Empty-handed !

Father and Son

Father and Son

The Father and Son live in a world of their own; a gigantic world. They sell beer and fly Kingfisher with beautiful girls. The son has a 'Dum Belle' in tow. They even rope in the Pirate as their hit-man. But when it comes to the final hurdle, the King of good times falls in to bad times, the Prince becomes Pauper and the Belle sings "Dumb maaro Dumb".

Beastly

The Beastly Slinga !

The terrorized batsmen ran for safety to save their toes as the 'Slinga' went berserk through IPL. But may be he went weak in the knee during the final week. The Mommy returned home sad for the God !

The Hangover II

The Hangover Spills Over to Galleries !

What do you do when you already have a hit which has broken many records ? You make a sequel. But the trick is to make it bigger, better and more banging. This is exactly what Hangover II attempts, and manages competently. The Yellows had the Reds for a swallow. This will linger on for the Cricket Crazy Chennai fans ! This is the 'Biggest Hit' in Tamilnadu that doesn't have Rajnikanth in it !

The End !

SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Indian Plumpier League: The Bigger IPL !

Disclaimer: This post is a figment of imagination of the writer. This is purely a fun article and doesn't intend to be derogatory about any of the honorable people mentioned. No way does this betray any maliciousness on part of the writer who himself is on the verge of being certified overweight. 

No offense is meant about the well endowed men and women. I am 'Broad'-minded. When I say that, it should not be confused with the Narrow minded ICC Match Referee with an England Captain for a son.

From being Agarkar-like, time has managed to render me in the 'just under the overweight league' with a BMI closing in on 25. I was never known for athleticism and that perhaps is why I preferred to play and follow Cricket. Not that I was any good at that. But Cricket still remains the only field game that still offers 'Fat' chances to the physically over-endowed to hold their own against the likes of Jonty Rhodes and Keiron Pollard.

There was 'Ample' evidence that Samit Patel was dropped from England probables list due to the eschewed fitness standards set by the ECB. The now past India Coach had expressed concerns over 'Overweight' Indian Cricketers. That was unfortunate. Just imagine if  weight or size did matter in the past, Sri Lanka would not have won their lone World Cup and England would not have won Ashes in 1987.

Here is an ode to those big 'BIG' men who regaled us with their skills. Here we launch the "Indian Plumpier League" [IPL]. Let us take a look at those weighty teams and their leaders of 'substance'. For those keen to play in the League, pound in all the pounds you can; more the merrier. The auction will strictly be held on the basis of Pounds. And all payments, hefty or otherwise will be made in Pounds too. A Pound for a Pound !

1] Chubby Supper Kings: With their love for heavy meals at night, the Chubby Kings lead from the front. So they have the Chubbiest Captain !

Leverlock, Stock and Barrel !

2] Belly Bare Devils: The Team from the Capital languishing at the bottom this season. Who can pick the spirits of this team ? Who else but the one with a belly that can scare the Devil ?

Belly that can Scare Devil !

3] Gol-Guppa Weight Ryders: Having either puny or fit skippers has been SRK's idea of a Captain. That is why the team has never been 'Stout' on field. But when you have a 'Big Jesse' for Captain, nobody meddles with them.

Just see Weight Ryder !

4] Binge's 11 Fun-jab: For binge eating, binge drinking, fun and jabs, you need not look around. He is a 'Legend' in all. The Prince did 'Eat' them all up during the World Cup !

Eat all You-We can !

5] Chicken Gorgers: They can munch and gorge on anything and everything including bowling attacks and 'Aloo Bondas' of Hyderabad. A worthy skipper has to be a man of stature.

The BIGGEST Talent from Pakistan

6] Royal Chill-hangers Ampleore: They will just chill out on Royal Challenge and avenge all the defeats so far. The Mr. Cool of Lankan Cricket will 'walk' away with the Captaincy. Well, he always walked his runs.

'Run'atunga who always walked runs !

7] Boonie Warriors India: One of the all time great overweight Cricketers excelled in fielding with all his girth. He will be a Boon to any lowly placed team.

A Boon for the underdogs !

8] Cocky Tuskers Carousel: For the Cocky Mallu who walks without a care like a tusker, they finally have a merry-go-Round of tuskers. The Cockiest of them all will lead the team. Gatting, Batting, Fatting and Swatting [of Pakistani Umpires] all allowed.

Gatting Batting Fatting !

9] Bum-boy Indians: For those who love everything in big chunks. The most Powarful man in Indian Cricket will lead from the front. His style and substance will make him a 'Roll-model' !

Powar Power !

10] Rotundistan Royals: A Patel from England alone qualifies to lead the bunch of Rotundistan Royals. To Sum it all, will get justice at last. This completes the ensemble of ten teams.

Sum of it all Patel !

This Obese version of IPL will begin as soon as we manage to find enough players plumper than the plump to complete 10 teams. Anyone interested to join the weight-wagon, don't wait, just shoot your applications. Weight is the only criteria !

Some patented attractions:

Cheer girls will be replaced with more ample and attractive 'Beer Babes'. Buxom is the word !

Buxom Beer Babes !

Concessions on ticket prices to those weighing above 100kg. They will be accommodated in the exclusive 'Century Club'.

Beer, beef and all kind of food served at subsidized rates before, during and even after the match.

Log on to our website for more details:
www.indianplumpierleague.com



SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

What do I do when low on Cricket Adrenaline ?

Team India are the reigning World Champions in ODI Cricket.

We also have the World No. 1 Test Team since over a year.

IPL attracts more eyeballs than most of the International series.

Rahul Sharma and Sreenath Aravind have bowled with promise.

Ambati Rayudu and Paul Valthaty have enlivened the proceedings.

Shane Warne believes Rohit Sharma is a Master in the making.

Tendulkar is still hungry for runs and Dravid isn't finished either.

Virat Kohli is batting well and shows guts as Captain of men.

Sehwagging reached epitome before he was shouldered out.

Gambhir is taking both Captaincy and his name too seriously.

Ashish Nehra continues to recover from one injury after another.

Yuvi continues to prove he is a different player in Indian Colors.

Munaf bowled well till he lost his head and match to Amit Mishra.

Sreesanth excels as Sreesanth and bowls 5 good balls in an over.

Bhajji hasn't slapped Sree and called Symonds a Gentleman... Man !

So much happening and Mumbai Indians choking before the Finals !

So much of action, fun and excitement has not really excited me. Why ?

Why am I dormant compared to my normal over-talkative standards ?

Very often this happens to me during those never-ending ODI series.

Every single IPL season, I have felt it as it comes to the business end.

Tendulkar may be God to millions and many who don't believe in God.

Sehwag may be the most destructive batsman in all forms of Cricket.

Gayle may have redefined the IPL Batsmanship taking it to a new height.

I realized something today. I am going through a trough in Crickinterest.

I realized today that I am missing something, rather missing someone !

Fortunately I know what to do when I feel so low on Cricket Adrenaline...

I just watch THIS !




Post Script: I can sit through an entire day and then through the night watching VVS bat with the tail in tow than suffer some of that 'Cricket' played by the likes of Sunny Sohal and Manish Pandey; the Masters of Inelegance !



SPun Doctor

Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Time to test the Bench - 2 : Realignment of Stars !

A lot of DLF maximums, Karbonn Kamaal Catches and Citi Bank moments of Success after the "Time to test the bench" post, have forced me to make changes in my Team for the ODI Series in the Caribbean.

So here is my ODI Team for the West Indies Tour ! This is open for further updating till 13 May, the D-Day for the selection. 

Who is out and why ?

Ravindra Jadeja will have to wait. Though he isn't bad, someone better has come up.
Robin Uthappa remains the flash in the pan man. He has disappointed.
R. P. Singh has flattered to deceive. Will need a little more effort to make the cut.

1] Gautam Gambhir [Captain - He remains firmly there in spite of patchy form]
2] Paul Valthaty [In spite of indifferent form, he is in for the X-Factor]
3] Ambati Rayudu [He has proved his credentials. Needs support]
4] Virat Kohli [We know there isn't a better No. 3 right now]
5] Yuveraj Singh [Yuvi in India Colors is different player and we love him]
6] Suresh Raina [We don't have a better floater. A certainty]
7] Rohit Sharma [Done better since the last post and can't deny his talent]
8] Yusuf Pathan [IPL batting form getting better. He deserves a place in the 11]
9] Parthiv Patel [The Wicket Keeper. Continues to show utility]
10] Ishant Sharma [He has been good and improved. No doubt he is Future !]
11] Munaf Patel [I don't like his fielding. But the truth is he is bowling well]
12] Rahul Sharma [Most economical Bowler in this IPL deserves a look]
13] R. Ashwin [Though not great, he has been good. A better 50 overs bowler]
14] Vinay Kumar [Continues to work hard. Deserves to be support bowler]
15] Praveen Kumar [Needed for the street-smart experience]

The 11 for the First ODI

1] Gambhir
2] Valthaty
3] Virat
4] Yuvi
5] Raina
6] Yusuf
7] Parthiv
8] Ashwin
9] Rahul Sharma
10] Ishant
11] Munaf

There is a flimsy possibility of any more changes coming up in my team. But as the saying goes, Cricket is a game of glorious uncertainties.

On Saturday, May 7, a youngster gave a professional verdict, "Sir, Isn't Prasanth Parameswaran a great prospect ? Isn't he MUCH BETTER than Sreesanth ? I think we should drop Sreesanth and bring in this boy. He is too good."

I told him, "I think it is too early. He was lucky with a no-ball that got Sehwag. You can't judge one bowler after 8 overs and say he is better than a bowler who has 70 Test wickets from 21 tests. Let us wait for Prasanth to perform consistently".

Prasanth Parameswaran broke Stuart Broad's record for maximum runs in an over on Sunday, May 8.

SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/