Pom Pom Pom: Every Donkey has a Day !

Team  India's graph and my blogging curve seem to be related; though unintentionally. The World Cup victory had left me contented for some time and I wrote on IPL only because it was relaxing to write when you didn't have to worry about 'One Team' you love.

I was disappointed by the defensive Cricket played in West Indies and the whole of England tour was a nightmare to be best forgotten as soon as possible. But somewhere during the series, I had tweeted, "Every dog has a day and today belongs to Pomeranian".

Their Test series win was comprehensive though too many things went wrong for India. But their ODI win was plain lucky. The arrogance of the Neo-No.1 team was oozing and pouring from every orifice as the humbled Team India's body language went down to Antarctica.

I stuck to my tweet and was pretty sure Team India will see better days soon. Exactly during the slump of Team India, I too was not able to follow Cricket the way I usually do, thanks to some personal issues apart from a hectic professional life. Hence the posts here dwindled and perhaps saved me from writing much negative about my favorite team.

After having thumped England thoroughly, Team India have vindicated my faith in them and that of millions of fans. All good things will have to come to an end and all bad things too will have to come to an end. Dhoni and his boys are back and they are bleeding blue !

Considering the fact that Team India have Sachin, Viru, Yuvi, Zaheer and Nehra missing from our best possible 11, this win augurs well for the future. Add the first choice replacements like Rohit, Ishant, Sreesanth, Munaf, Vijay, Dinesh Karthik and Badri to the list. And due to form and selection issues, Yusuf Pathan and Bhajji too are not playing. That means this is at best India B-Plus Team, not even India-A !

Mission Accomplished : Captain Accomplished !

For all the criticism they faced during the English tour, Team India showed exemplary behavior during the whole tour. We are witnessing how the English players are behaving when the fortune has taken a 'U' turn. Dhoni very slyly yet very rightly pointed out during post-match presentation during the second ODI.

There is a huge gulf of class between these two teams. One knows how to behave even when the chips are down. The other is downright arrogant and almost vainglorious. Having criticized Dhoni's calling Bell decision, I feel the laws of natural forces have caught up with the Poms quite very soon.

Some of the statements by English experts and press during the England tour went like this...

Geoffrey Boycott: "India look a pale shadow of an ordinary team"
Nasser Hussain: "There were a few donkeys out there in the field today..."

Some extremely inconsiderate Indian critics and tweeters have called some of the players in this English team, donkeys. That is unfortunate and totally abusive. Some went to the extent of tweeting, "Some of the English players looked like pale shadows of donkeys out there"

We should respect our guests. "Athithi Devo Bhava" - Treat the guest like God.
So please stop this nonsense now !

Post Script: The animal kingdom isn't very proud to be associated with the English Team that has turned out in this series so far ! And the hardworking and efficient donkeys have protested saying, "We consider this blasphemous. We are always well behaved even if people consider us sloppy. We wouldn't be rude and obnoxious when we know we are in deep shit. So we want all this abuse to stop immediately"

Every Donkey has a Day !

SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

I have a Wait Problem oops Weight Problem !

 "I was to blame for my weight problems" Samit Patel !

Broad and The Broader !

Ball Ball Bach Gaye !

Showing Stomach for a Fight !

All these years I used to suspect Pizza Hut, Paneer Maakhni, Mushroom Pepper and Salt, Gulab Jamoon, Roasted cashew nuts, Coconut oil, soft drinks, Lays and Baskin Robbins were responsible for my 'weight problem' !

I have a Wait Problem; just can't wait for food !

Thanks Samit Patel for owning up. We all need someone or something to blame for anything and everything.

Now I can blame you in future !

Thanks again !


SPun Doctor Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

Father, Son and the Holy Spirit of Cricket !

More than a month since "Doctoring the Balls" last saw a post. July was completely barren. Partly because of personal issues and partly because of not much inspirational stuff happening. The West Indies - India series was totally forgettable. I don't even remember who all played that series.

The ongoing England - India series seems to be attracting more attention for what is not Cricket than Cricket. Conceding the fact that England appear distinctly superior team at present, I still believe India have been pretty unlucky on several aspects.

Most of the good decisions on field have gone in favor of England and almost all bad decisions too have. But that isn't anything new for India. When was the last time did India have the better of Umpiring ? Adding to the issue is every expert's verdict that India are themselves to be blamed for not accepting UDRS.

But this post is about 'What is NOT Cricket' and NOT about 'What is Cricket'. Let us just take a look at what has happened so far.

Kick and remorse !

Event-1: Swann kicks the stumps and expresses remorse and gets away without even a fine. This was his second such offense in 5 month. Praveen Kumar expresses displeasure about Umpiring decision and gets fined. Even he showed remorse, buts still was fined...

Moral of the story: An Indian's remorse is not remorse enough to escape fine.

Event-2: Baby Broad goes to examine if Laxman had applied Vaseline to the edge of the bat to cheat the 'hot spot' and is convinced there was no Vaseline. Michel Vaughan tweets about Vaseline and then counters the outrage with sarcasm. We never knew Vaughan had any sense of humor. If he had he never showed it in his playing days. What would have been the reaction if Sreesanth were to go and examine the bat of Bell or Strauss in a similar situation ?

Moral of the story: Having a Match Referee for father helps. Sreesanth's father is not even an Umpire.

Event-3: Bell was technically and stupidly run-out. But still English stink tank wanted India to take back the appeal. India complied because they didn't feel good about that. They had suffered a lot in the Caribbean. But isn't it surprising that it is only one way traffic when it comes to "Spirit of Cricket" ?

• Sachin Tendulkar was once run out thanks to timely obstruction by Shoaib Akhtar. He was NOT recalled.
• Dhoni was twice ruled out wrongly by the third Umpire and the whole world saw that. No Captain or Commentator remembered the spirit of Cricket.
• Chris Broad has been so narrow minded in his approach towards Team India that he is worse than Bucknor and Harper.
• Srikkanth was run out wandering out side his crease in his first test. The opposition Captain never thought much about the debutant then.
• Sehwag was denied a century in one of the most un-sportsman like act by the Sri Lankan Off spinner. Of course he was punished, may be because he too is not the son of an ICC official.
• Any act of aggression by Indians on field gets immediate and immaculate punishment. From Manoj Prabhakar to Ganguly, Gambhir, Bhajji, Sreesanth and many more examples. But others somehow get let off easily with 'expression of remorse'.

Can someone remind me of an incident of an Indian batsman being called back by opponents when he was declared out wrongly ?

Spirit of Cricket will have a meaning when it is a give and take. So far it has always been interpreted as "India give and others take" all favors !

With the way the English press, players and Commentators have behaved so far, this is bloody war out there and we are conceding vital advantage there ! I don't blame Dhoni and his team for playing poor Cricket. It happens to the best of the men and best of the teams. But I am pissed off like hell because they called back Bell. How long will India have to keep playing the nice guys or be forced to play the virtuous ?




SPun Doctor
Also blogs @ http://diehardcricketfans.org/category/contributed/govind-raj-shenoy/

No Pace = No Peace !

My last post was my most serious ever. That emanated from the fact that I am depressed with the way Team India have struggled during this cup. But looking back, I gave India no chances of winning at all.

From the day Munaf got that Man of the Match award in South Africa, I knew India were doomed. Why do I believe so ? Just look at our opponents from that series. South Africa are playing this cup without the man who got more wickets and bowled much better than Munaf during the same match and the same series.

Why do I dislike Munaf Patel ? As much as the Team members, Captain and Selectors repose faith in him, I strongly believe Munaf is not the guy we need in our campaign if we want to win. And why do I 'believe' so ? Let us look at Munaf's repertory.

What He is: Decent line and length bowler. Can keep it in the corridor with the new ball.
What He ain't: At best a trundler. No Pace. No Yorker. No Bouncer. Not much Reverse Swing. Regularly bowls length balls at death. Can't run to save his own life or that of his wife. Batting is a single digit lottery; you win once in one million chances.

How can India depend on a bowler who depends upon the pressure created at the other end or by huge scores to survive ? He has got 9 wickets to his credit so far. But at what cost ? Except the Bangladesh match, he has consistently gone for runs when it mattered the most. People remember Nehra went for 13 runs in the last over. But they have forgotten Munaf went for 14 in the 48th over against Saffers. He also bowled a pathetic last over against England.

Unfortunately the wise men in the garbs of Selectors left Team India with no other options. Dhoni's zeal for Piyush Chawla is tough to understand. That boy hasn't played any meaningful ODI Cricket for ages. The selectors should have known with the "Handle with Care" tag that both Ashish and Zaheer come, we should have had one more Pacer in the 15 member army.

Piyush Chawla will go down in the history as the costliest blunder ever by a bunch of Selectors. I am not being wise in retrospection. I have from the beginning believed Nehra, Munaf and Piyush were misfits and said so.

We are now facing a possibility of a second successive first round exit at the World Cup. Many people believe India have already qualified for the Quarters. But that is far from true. There are so many possibilities.

Imagine England beat West Indies by a big margin tonight. West Indies then rout India on Sunday, again with a big margin. And Bangladesh upset Saffers, India will probably be pipped to the post by England. How do we like that ? Though there are a lot of ifs, it isn't impossible.

And if that happens, we needn't worry about our combination for the next round. Our highest paid players can straightaway start preparations for IPL-4. There is some relief. Only an Indian Team will win IPL, come what may !

What is the Carry Home message ?

Australia have Lee, Johnson and Tait; all doing well.
Saffers have Steyn and Morkel, the best pair in the business today.
England have a ready Pace replacement for every Pace bowler that gets injured.
Pakistan have Aqthar, Gul and Riaz and a factory of Fast bowlers.
Sri Lanka have Malinga and a bunch of disciplined medium pacers.
West Indies have Roach, Russel and a number of support bowlers.
New Zealand have Southee, Mills, Franklin and many slow medium pacers.

What do India have ?

Zaheer Khan !

Don't even mention Nehra and Munaf. We already have seen them, discussed them and done with. Sreesanth ? He doesn't have the confidence of his own Captain.

So the situation is simple...

No Pace = No Peace !

That is "The End" !



SPun Doctor

World Cup Early Favorites : Mind Speaks !

I am not at all happy writing this post. But when I feel like this, I have to.

Will India triumph on 2 April 2011 ?

My Heart wants to say "Yes", but the mind screams "NO" and silences the heart !

Why ? Let me give my reasons why other teams stand better chances.

This World Cup is like a Marathon Race. It is quite long, as long as some of my posts. The last team standing on the podium will be the one with the maximum endurance. And India don't look like they possess it.

Let me explain why I rate the chances of India lower than other teams.

1] South Africa: For me, they are the favorites this time. They have played good amount of Cricket and almost all are fit. Their Batting might is perhaps second only to India. But they have the best bowling army with enough ammunition to exploit any conditions. Bowling and quality of fielding will make the difference on Subcontinental pitches. So they start as favorites.
Key Players: Kallis, who else ? Steyn and Amla.

2] England: Forget Ryan ten Doeschate. Forget 6-1. That was a team drained after the monumental Ashes win. England will be a different team at the WC-11. They too have a fabulous batting line up, perhaps third strongest. But it is the bowling and the Swann factor that will make the difference. They seem to find ready replacements for any injured bowler. So, they are my second finalists.
Key Players: This could be ODI Swann song for Peitersen and Paul Collingwood !

3] Sri Lanka: Their middle order is nowhere near that of India or South Africa. But the 'Big Two' seem to deliver most of the times when it comes to ICC World Cup. But what makes them hot is the sheer quality and variety of their bowling attack. No team can boast of having every type of bowler except the Lions. How the middle order fairs will decide their fate in the knock out stages.
Key Players: Malinga and Murali.

4] Australia: Forget ThrAshes. Forget practice matches. Aussies are a different team in ODI Cricket. Absence of Mussey will hurt them. Else I would have put them at No. 2. They have two vital players, Watson and Lee and they will leave a big impact on WC-11. And never discount Ponting. Bowling is much better than India and that gives them the edge.
Key Players: Shane Watson and Brett Lee.

5] Pakistan: Cornered from all sides thanks to match and spot-fixing and players not mixing; Pakistan nevertheless is a team on the accent. They play their best when they are pressed hard. Bowling looks impressive even though a tad erratic. But if they can bowl out teams after conceding 25 wides, who cares ? Yunis Khan will be the fulcrum of this low on experience but high on Adrenaline Team.
Key Players: Any one from the 11 !

6] India: Batting card looks like a dream. But bowling causes nightmares. Sreesanth can win and lose matches single-handed. More often he manages the second. Ashish Nehra does not inspire enough confidence either. Munaf had a decent outing against Bangladesh. But can he bowl as well defending 270 ?

Bhajji doesn't really know his role in the team. Is he supposed to control runs or take wickets ? Zaheer can be fit and unfit even before you can pronounce the name Isha Sharvani. And then the Yuveraj Singh issue, is he a batsman who can bowl a bit or a bowler who can bat a bit ?

It is 'All is well' for Men in Blue when at least 2 of the top 4 score big. But that doesn't happen everyday. And there lies the problem. When the Top order falters, India lose the plot. So, for the miracle to happen, Sachin, Viru, Gauty and Virat should fire in every single match. Will that happen ?

If India have to win in spite of all these short-comings, Zaheer and Bhajji will have to deliver consistently and big time apart from the Top order !






S-Pun Doctor

Ponting is Right !

In spite of his great batting deeds, in spite of his 3 successive World Cup wins and in spite of his place in the pantheons of the 'All Time Greats' of Cricket; I have never really liked Ponting.

Well, almost all Indians have reasons not to like him. The caning suffered in the 2003 World Cup Final being just one of them !

Most of the times, I have scoffed at Ponting and his rantings. But not this time.
What he said is absolutely true.

Minnows have no place at the World Cup !

The ICC should seriously think in this direction and thankfully they already have if the reports are to be believed. But I am against having even 10 teams. There should be only 8 teams, just 8 and no more.

But isn't this injustice to the associate members ? This could sound so on face value, but it is not. There is a way out. This is how we go about it...

The Main Event should have only 8 teams as it was till 1987.

Each Team will play another team once and the Top 4 will qualify for the Semi-Finals.

The Final should be a best of 3 affair to test the endurance and the ability to bounce back.

Top 6 Teams qualify to play main event based on overall ODI rankings 12 months prior to the main event.

There should be a First round of qualifying tourney involving teams ranked 7 to 20 in the format that is being played now at this Cup.

Let this be held in different countries and the ICC should support the event. This tourney can also be called Plate Division World Cup or something like that.

Both the finalists will get to play the main event.

This will mean the minnows will get to play more matches between themselves and also get to play 2 - 3 teams from the Test playing group. The competition will certainly improve.

Fear of relegation can lead to an improvement in the Test Playing Nations Group too.

Imagine India, England, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, New Zealand, South Africa or even Australia being relegated to the qualifying tourney. That will hurt the egos and can inspire stiffer competition.

A Test playing nation missing out on main event is a possibility. When that happens, it will act as a wake up call to that team and an incentive to the one that pipped them.

What happened yesterday [20 February 2011] was just not Cricket.
It was massacre, slaughter, annihilation, decimation, humiliation and anything you like !
Let us not suffer more of those insufferably lopsided Sundays.
Who will watch them ? Just who will pay to watch Canada playing Kenya in India ?



S-Pun Doctor

India, The Deserving No. 1 Test team !

By hammering the hapless Kiwis by an innings and a lot, India have sealed their place at the Top of Test Rankings for some more time. Unless they get humiliated in South Africa, they might stay there. Do India deserve to be No. 1 Ranked Test Team ?

Let us take a look at our Assets and Liabilities first...

The Assets

India has on paper the strongest batting line up and perhaps one of the all time best.

Just two Guys have scored more than 26000 Test runs. Another two take the tally up to nearly 40000. Awesome, Right ?

One Opener has created the fear of God in the minds of atheists.

And the God after all comes to bat after the Wall !

Every time there is a crisis, the Man stands up and there is nothing Lax about him.

A young Tyro who has played more ODIs than any 23 year old bats at No.6 for India. If not battered by good short stuff and not bettered by his own impetuousness, is a damn good No. 6.

The Captain Cool is indeed Cool. He will face his sternest test next month.

Not many teams can boast of a No. 8 with back to back test centuries and 300 runs in a 3-Test Series. India do !

Zaheer Can get Smith and rattle any batsman in the world with new ball. If the new ball doesn't get you, the old will !

Ishant has rattled Ponting before. He has rattled Chris Martin now. If his hair doesn't obscure his vision, he should be able to pitch the ball in right areas.

Sreesanth is India's Best test Bowler on pacy pitches. If he makes batsmen dance to his tunes rather than dance himself, he should be India's Triumph Card.

Ojha can smother the run rate and frustrate any batsman. No reason why he should not be able to do it to Amla and Co.

If a Team can keep Pujara and Vijay on the bench, that speaks of the Bench Strength ! Not to forget Yuveraj Singh who is not even on the Bench.

But are these the reasons for India's Supremacy ? As much as I would like to believe, there is more to it than meets the eyes. So here we go...

The Liabilities

This team has only one bowler who can be called World Class today; Zaheer Khan. And he is 32 years old and is unlikely to improve from here.

Bhajji is hardly a bowler now. Sreesanth and Ishant are too erratic. Ojha at best is a restrictive spinner.

A Team that has a No. 3 batsman who scores at 35 - 40% strike rate is not a great asset in modern day Cricket. He actually brings the scoring to a grinding halt and there by undoing all the gains of Sehwagging.

Gambhir and Raina will be tested severely with short stuff and will find out how different is the life of a Test Cricketer outside India. Hope they will be wiser for that.

Sachin doesn't boast of a great record in South Africa. He too has had problems on those pitches.

Laxman has to make sure he doesn't leave big gaps through his stance. It looked as big as the margin with which New Zealand lost. Dale Steyn must have seen his dismissal in the Nagpur test.

Question: Can we trust Bhajji to bat to win or at least save a test for us ?
Anwer: No.
Question: Why is he in the team ?
Answer: To Take wickets.
Question: Is he doing that regularly ?
Answer: No.
Question: So what do we do with him ?
Answer: Replace him... Err Wait !
Question: But with Whom ?
Answer: Ojha...
Question: Oh Really ? Can he take wickets ?
Weren't we talking about Bench Strength ?

So how do they manage to stay at the top in spite of this ?

Answers:

1] Australia: In serious decline after the retirement of the Great Bunch. The current lot would not have qualified to carry drinks during the 1999 - 2007 Period.

2] South Africa: Great batting and the world's best fast bowler. But a bit too one dimensional team. Somehow falter when everything looks great. And Smith can author a book titled, "1001 ways to break your fingers". Take out Steyn and the bowling isn't way much better than the Kiwis.

3] England: The Best equipped Test Team now. But some loopholes still not plugged. Batting can crumble against good spin. And that has restricted their progress too often.

4] Sri Lanka: There are more than 800 reasons to believe that with Murali is gone, they will find it tough to win away from home. Malinga, please forgive me. But the ICC rules don't allow you to bowl from both sides. Even Anil Kumble wasn't allowed. Their batting can come unstuck against good quick bowling.

5] Pakistan: If anybody can inspire Pakistan Cricket, Younis Khan. But they have a Butt as the Head of the PCB. So what do you expect other than serious shit ? Send this man to Afghanistan to live with Taliban. They might surrender thanks to this Pain in the Butt of a guy.

6] West Indies: Gayle storm can engulf opponents once in a while. But overall they suffer from Sreesanth Syndrome. Absolute Brilliance one moment and Nadir of Mediocrity the very next.

7] Bangladesh: One season doesn't make a Champion team. They have done well in shorter formats of late. But the Lions are an Ordinary Team in Test Cricket. Apologies due to Sehwag !

8] I am Happy Zimbabwe aren't playing tests. Else Chris Martin would have scored a Test Century and Ishant Sharma would have batted all 5 days of a test without getting out, why without even getting beaten once.

So this reminds me of an old Hindi adage:

Andhon ke Gaon mein Kana Rajah ! 

In the land of the blind, one eyed man is King !

India Deserve to be the No. 1 Ranked Test Team !

I rest my Case.






S-Pun Doctor