The Cricket World Cup is around. The excitement is building up. I can never support any other team but Team India till they are knocked out. Right now I am optimistic in spite of all the negative talk and Piyush Chawla.
If they win, Team India will face a deluge of awards. If they lose, some of them might have to apply for Police protection to their person and properties. Cricket Crazy Indians, we all are !
But even if they don't win, I adore Team India including Piyush Chawla. Hope they win and win a lot of awards, prizes and contracts.
I am a middle class blogger and can't afford to reward them big. But I would like to give one gift each to every member of Team India. Howsoever trivial they might appear, I love to give them even before they play their first match at Mirpur against their 2007 nemesis.
So here are my gifts to Team India...
1] Sachin Tendulkar: Kapil Dev said Sachin will not retire without a World Cup. If this one eludes him, it is unlikely that he can win in 2015. So I very humbly would like to gift him a miniature World Cup trophy. If India win, great. If they don't, let him keep it as a consolation prize.
2] Virendar Sehwag: A sustained release icepack fitted into the helmet. He will need it to keep his cool. Viru is vital for India's fortunes. If Sehwagging continues throughout the tourney, the Cup cometh home.
3] Gautam Gambhir: A tongue depressor; used in the Doctor's clinic to keep the tongue down. Gauty's bat starts to falter when his tongue takes over. He has already put an enormous burden on the team by saying this is our best chance. I remember 1987.
4] Yuveraj Singh: No, not Revital. He is already on that. A DVD of his altercation with Andrew Flintoff and the aftermath is what he needs. The difference between the Cup and the Slip for India will be, the form of Yuvi; literally and figuratively !
5] Virat Kohli: Tee-shirt with "Attitude, wear it on your gloves". He might be benched initially, but should not be disappointed. The Dude with attitude needs to keep his head during the Cup.
6] Mahendra Singh Dhoni: A miniature Helicopter. He needs to be reminded of the 'shot'. Not only in Pepsi ads, he needs to play them on the field.
7] Yusuf Pathan: A complete Gillette Mach-3 shaving system with accessories. He needs to be told it isn't the beard that is responsible for his runs. Clean shaven guys and even his former Rajastan Royals buddy Shane Watson are scoring runs; without a beard. If the beard were to bring luck, all the Mullahs would have won the Cup for Afghanistan.
8] Suresh Raina: The CSK jersey. He somehow becomes a transformed man in that outfit. Send him in Indian colors with CSK jersey underneath. He will have added protection against the 'short ball'.
9] Harbhajan Singh: A wrist band with 'No. 1' inscribed. Forget 'Doosra'. Bhajji needs to get is 'Pehla' going on Indian pitches. How else can we stem the runs in the middle overs. He will have to bowl on those 'national highways'.
10] Zaheer Khan: A "Taweez' to keep him free of injuries during the whole tourney. Though I don't believe in them, I've heard Cricketers are a superstitious lot. It might just keep him happy. If any bowler can win it for India, Khan can.
11] Ashish Nehra: An old fashioned foot-role. He needs to keep them straight and not on the leg-stump.
12] Munaf Patel: A Roller-skates set. He needs to run on the field, not walk in the park.
13] Ravichandran Ashwin: A Bench. He will have to warm it all through the Cup, unless Bhajji gets injured or badly mauled in initial stages.
14] Praveen Kumar: A mechanical Swing. He needs to do just that with the new ball and with the old ball. Lest him go the Ajit Agarkar way.
15] Piyush Chawla: He already has got one in the form of a berth in the squad. Anymore pampering will be injustice to Amit Mishra and Pragyan Ojha.
And finally...
Gary Kirsten: Not me, only Team India can give him a parting gift. The Prize will be the only befitting gift to his Priceless contribution to Team India. Hope they do it for the First and the Last man in my list; they deserve it !
S-Pun Doctor
Good one, Govind! Especially true about Bhajji... he needs to get his pehla correct rather than worry about the doosra.
ReplyDelete(One question though: How will Munaf run with roller skates? He will have to glide :))
Shridhar, some practice with skates can improve his agility :-)
ReplyDeleteNice post Govind. Raina certainly needs a CSK jersey to boost his luck n form.
ReplyDeleteThough I wouldn't mind GG taking part in some verbal fights. He is a typical Delhite, so surely it gets him more determined.
Welcome Freehit. I have no issues with Gautam's on field snarls. Go ahead. It is his tongue wagging off the field that gets him into trouble. Everyone can't go Sehwagging. In his own inimitable style, "Ek hi Sehwag hai" !
ReplyDelete