Pakistan will play the 2011 World Cup with the unbeatable record of having 11 Ex-Captains in their playing 11. Any team in future can only equal this record, never be able to break it !
Well, unless the ICC decides to bring back the Super Sub. Even in that event, only Pakistan stands with a chance to break their own record. No other team in the world of Cricket can manage to muster so many Captains !
How will this happen ?
The story unfolds thus...
Shahid Afridi has resigned and has tipped Salman Butt to succeed him.
Salman Butt will lead in next two matches. As is a recent convention with Pakistan Cricket, he has to retire and then come back just before the World Cup, simply because it is played in India. Butt loves Indian pitches.
Shoib Aqthar will be the next Captain. He will demand for the Captain's Cap because every other player has had one. But he will be banned for 2 weeks and 6 days by PCB for misbehavior with team-mates. He will be recalled before the WC.
Umar Gul will replace Aqthar for one ODI and will suffer a hairline fracture somewhere in his body.
PCB will then support a Wicket Keeper Captain in Kamran Akmal since other two Asian teams have one. Akmal will drop all the catches due to distraction of Captaincy. He is dropping them even without it. He will be forced resign from Captaincy halfway through a match due to rebellion by 9 other players.
As a compromise formula, his little brother Umar Akmal will take over for the rest of the match.
Imran Farhat will accept Captaincy because PCB will tell him he can be accommodated in the playing 11 only as a Captain. As is his wont, he will goof up his chance and will be sacked after the first match.
India - Pakistan talks are failing and both sides are hurling verbal missiles at each other. Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari wants to show how fair they are to the Minority Hindus in Pakistan. So he asks PCB to appoint Danesh Kaneria as Captain. His tenure as Captain will be cut short due to serious riots in Rawalpindi, rumored to have been triggered by intemperate comments by the 'Rawalpindi Express'.
When the going gets tough, the puff gets going. Mohammad Asif is the best fast-bowler in the subcontinent today. Nobody doubts his action. The problem is with his actions, away from the oval. He will Captain for one match and then take a break to attend to court cases regarding the Narcotics case.
Since there will be no one else willing to take up Captaincy, Mohammad Amer will be made the Pakistan Captain for the 2011 World Cup. Wasim Akram believes Amer is smarter than Wasim himself was at 18. Isn't it good enough reason for him to be made the Captain ?
Since the batting cupboard is so empty, all the usual suspects will make a comeback. They all will join hands to save the prestige of their Country !
Thus the playing 11 will be...
1] Salman Butt [Ex-Captain by Chance]
2] Shahid Afridi [Ex-Captain by Choice]
3] Yunis Khan [Ex-Reluctant Captain]
4] Shoib Malik [Ex-Unpopular Captain]
5] Umar Akmal [Ex-Compromise Captain]
6] Mohammad Yusuf [Ex-Retired Captain]
7] Kamran Akmal [Ex-Dropped Captain]
8] Mohammad Asif [Ex-Doped Captain]
9] Shoib Aqthar [Ex-Doomed Captain]
10] Mohammad Amer [Ex-Captain in waiting]
11] Danesh Kaneria [Ex-Rioted Captain]
The 15 member team will be completed by Umar Gul [Ex-Injured Captain], Imran Farhat [Ex-Captain forever] and two more 'Future Ex-Captains'!
Now beat this if you can !
No comments:
Post a Comment