Breaking Views !!!

We have a million 24X7 News channels in all languages doing ‘Breaking News’. So opinionated are the people running these shows; they often come across as if they are ‘Breaking Views’ !

We just have to take a look at the Maha Siddiqui - Shoaib Malik – Sania Mirza episode and the overkill on prime-time news channels.

Finally the well-wishers and some Muslim Politicians have helped solve this deadlock to pave way for a happy Wedlock for ‘Our’ Sania with ‘Their’ Shoaib. Some channels went to the extent of predicting an improvement in Indo-Pak relations and even a lasting remedy to the Kashmir thorn. Some views indeed !

But there sure must be some story in this whole story of Ayesha – Maha vs Shoaib Malik drama. When we have so many people airing views and making Nano-pixels out of this story; why should this Blogger keep quiet? So here we go… Breaking Views !!!

The Inspirations!

Ayesha aka Maha Siddiqui is an obviously Indian girl brought up on Manmohan Desai movies. So her version of the story has a 20 year old Shoaib Malik coming up to her with the missing ‘Hair Pin’. Doesn’t it look similar to the Amitabh Bachchan – Parveen Babi hand-kerchief scene from the Desai potboiler ‘Amar Akbar Anthony’? So it was here their life took a ‘Hair Pin Bend’ according to the Indian Girl !

Shoaib Malik is a Pakistani boy who allegedly grew up on pirated discs of Abbas - Mastan movies starting from Baazigar. This is quite evident in his side of the ‘Story’ of the beautiful Ayesha Siddiqui and the overweight matronly looking Maha Khala - Apa. He has once again proved how naive these Pakistani boys really are ! They somehow never grow up there. Look at Shahid Afridi, he still remains 25, even as his eldest daughter is getting ready to elope with an Indian boy at Dubai !

The Aspirations !

This only goes on to prove one thing, both Ayesha aka Maha and Shoaib are pretty good at spinning; I mean the yarn ! Shoaib was reported for ‘Chucking’ the ball early on in his checkered career and underwent rehabilitation.

Today he stands banned for one year by the PCB on charges of ‘Chucking’ matches. But all this hasn’t stopped him from ‘Bowling’ Maidens over ! Just take a look, Ayesha Siddiqui, Maha Apa, Sayali Bhagat and now our own sweet little Sania; the list keeps growing like the tantrums of Sreesanth !

The Hard Truths !

Neha Dhupia was once famously quoted, “Only Shah Rukh Khan and sex sell”. The IPL and the ‘Not so Idiot Box’ have left even ‘My Name is Khan’ of SRK an also ran movie. Sex still sells but in spells. Hence the Bollywood is in serious trouble today. Perhaps we can save Bollywood by clubbing Cricket, Cinema and Sex together !

The Remedy to be Directed by Modi !

Cricket these days comes with an overdose of SRK and all those Bollywood babes from Preity to Shilpa to Deepika to Sameera. Kartina Kaif gets more footage than Mohammed Kaif during Cricket matches, thanks to IPL. Do we need any more proof ? Just marry Cinema to Cricket, but of course under the able Dictatorship oops Directorship of Lalit Modi !

The Un-boundary Script !

The view is getting wider and wider; in fact wider than the 140mm grin of Lalit Modi. An over-popular but under-achiever Tennis Star with looks to beat the Bollywood beauties, an out of favor former Cricket Captain of our neighboring country and an overweight, overambitious and stardust struck girl from the Deccan Chargers land; what a dizzy cocktail; A DLF Maximum !

The Mini-Screen-Play !

To further spice things up, we have Sayali Bhagat an intimate friend of Shoaib Malik. This has prompted the ‘Imaginative’ channel people to launch a new series for the season 3. After ‘Rakhi ka Swayamvar’ and ‘Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’; we have a new gala reality show to be titled Shoaib Indian Dulhaniya Le Ayenge to be anchored by Pakistan Captain Shahid Afridi. Rakhi Sawant has consented to add weight to the show !

The Producer and the BIG Picture !

If these channels are so smart, how can Bollywood lag behind ? They won’t like to be compared to Preity Zinta’s King’s 11 Punjab after all. So Abbas – Mastan duo have already come forward with a multinational project to be shot in the Middle East, India, Pakistan, Australia, USA and Wimbledon. Warne R Brothers are likely to finance the movie with money earned from the flourishing underwear business !

And the Title:

The movie will be released on 1 April 2011 during the IPL-4 season ! The filming is expected to begin soon after the 15 April 2010 wedding and will have to wind up before Shoaib completes his one year ban. It will star Maha Siddiqui, Ayesha, Sayali Bhagat, Sania Mirza and Rakhi Sawant in the lead with Shoaib Malik in and as...

Sab ka Malik Ek Hai !