Toes and Woes: The Revenge of the Slinga !

Even as Ireland pipped England in a historical match at Chinnaswamy Stadium Bengaluru, I prefer to dwell on what happened yesterday.

Whoever thought it was a boring match ? I haven't laughed as much even while watching Chatur's Balatkaar speech from '3 Idiots'. Well, I was laughing at the plight of Kenyan batsmen and also at what could be in store for the rest of the teams through the Cup.

Here are some interesting 'Slinga' facts from the Kenya - Sri Lanka match...

1] Revenge of the Slinga: Just like Sehwag, Malinga was waiting for this 'Revenge Match'. No, he wasn't around in 2003. But WTF, they beat us then and we have to extract revenge !

2] Save Toes Campaign: Cricket Pundits will have to quickly invent some devises to protect the toes of batsmen from those Malinga Yorkers.

3] Third Highest Contributor: Malinga had another distinction in the match. C and D Obuya brothers scored 103 runs between them. Kenya's third highest contributor was Malinga himself. He gave away 9 runs with no-balls and wides.

4] Don't Catch them, just crush them: Malinga again walks away with another distinction. All his victims were either bowled or LBW.

5] Accidental runs: Most of the 38 runs scored of his bowling were thanks to no balls, wide balls and edges apart from those inadvertent drives resulting from accidental contact of the speeding ball with the unsuspecting bats. 

6] UDRS Euthanasia: Tanmay Mishra labored around facing 13 balls without being able to get the ball out of the 5 yard circle, if there is one. And he had the cheek to ask for UDRS when another Malinga Yorker crushed his toes. The Third Umpire ruled him out, in what can be termed as the first ever incident of 'Active Euthanasia' on a Cricket field ! It is with this wicket that the 'Hat-trick' began. 

7] Denial of rights: Chamara Silva was severely reprimanded by Sri Lanka Cricket for running out Kamande. That fellow denied a certain seventh wicket to Malinga. How mean can some people get ! 

8] The Last Man Standing on his own toes: Odhiambo will go down as one of the World Cup Heroes in Kenya. He was the only one to find the boundary ropes with the ball after the fall of Obuya brothers. All others managed to cross the ropes this side and that side during the procession. Odhiambo then returned flattering bowling figures of 5-0-26-0, most economical for his team. Most importantly, 'He did not get Yorked by Malinga'. No mean achievement ! 

9] No Big ones: No Sixes were hit in the entire match because Malinga did not get to bat. So he settled for a 'Sixer' of wickets. 

10] Cup of woes: If he stays fit throughout the Cup, it could be the Cup of woes for a lot of batsmen !

11] The Last Man Talking: At the post match presentation, MOM Malinga talked in Sinhalese and that was a treat to watch or rather listen. His speech was faster than his sling shots. And honestly, it was tougher to comprehend than all of those toe-crushers !



SPun Doctor