Flip - Flop and Wild Angels !

From the day the IPL-3 started, I have been waiting for the 'Fake IPL Player' and his invaluable output. But somehow he has gone missing. So I was desperately searching for someone for the inside information from the IPL front.

Lucky me, I got a chance to talk to an insider from King's Eleven Punjab. For the sake of his physical and fiscal health, he has chosen to remain anonymous. He prefers to be known as "Face-Less IPL Player" or FLIP henceforth. Here is my first telephonic conversations with Flip! Hope to catch him more often! 

GR: Hi Flip, howz the mood with Zinta's boys?

Flip: Oh, there is no mood, it is rather doom. You call me Flip and my team and its Icon both are Flops. Don't ask me! I feel like crying...

GR: Hey, relax… I know you're not in the scheme of things now; but trust me things will change for better...

Flip: Not a chance in this world. The team is as divided as the Commies are over appointing Bachchan as Brand Ambassador of Kerala!

GR: But things look quite fine over the TV. All of them look friendly...

Flip: Haven't you seen "Jab We Met"? Kareena and Shaheed have even kissed each other in the movie. But you know what was happening in reality, don't you? People do totally different things in front of the camera!

GR: Oh ho! So what is the issue?

Flip: Are you a Moron? Can't you see the Young-King sulking and all the Indians in the team actually uncomfortable with that?

GR: Well, he is coming back from injury and has yet to get back to groove...

Flip: Groove my foot, you know nothing. He is always groovy these days. Haven't you seen his paunch? He is ridiculed 'Paunchab da Sher' these days.

GR: Well, fitness is a problem with Young-King off late!

Flip: You are from Kerala, so you should know! Peace-brat told me they call 'Punch Drunk' people 'FIT' over there. So you have a point there, Young-King has "Fitness' problems!

GR: Oh, don't tell me that. Most of the boys do like to enjoy good life...

Flip: That my Dear is not the problem, the problem is he is 'FIT' off the field and 'Unfit' on it. Sometimes he even looks 'Misfit'. What a waste! 

GR: OK, but what is Lovable Ms. Zinta doing about this? 

Flip: Have you seen her get down there? She too is sulking. King Khan has turned things around a little bit. Otherwise all these film-wallahs are struggling. Sculpted beauty is totally depressed. Ever since she entered, the Royals have gone from ‘Warne to Worse’.

GR: But that is a one man batting army. Goldsmith, Dimmed Pomegranate and Roving Jade all are out. Take out Photon Senior and they are zilch!

Flip: Well, coming to Photon, did you here Photon Junior on the stump microphone during Punjab’s first match? He was telling, “Saala kuch bhi samajhta nahin, dubaayega iss baar bhi” [Translated as: "Brother-in-law doesn't understand anything. He will sink it this time too".] This was about Boy Sanger. So sad, the Captain commands no respect in the team.

GR: What about you? How do YOU feel about him?

Flip: What difference will it make? I am like Fake IPL player, will never get to play a ball. But I have all my sympathies with Boy Sanger. Win-warden, the other Islander in the team is the only man he can turn to, for help!

GR: So sad. Where will Young-King go from here?

Flip: To the night club, where else?

GR: Oh common, you are smarter than that. What will happen to him?

Flip: Well, that was a joke if you didn't know. I overheard him talk to Peace-brat about writing a book like Jumbo Bhai. He wants to share and bare all…

GR: Bare all… like Dada?

Flip: No, he wants to talk about his life. I think he will have more to tell about the Women he mated than the Man of the match awards.

GR: Don’t be so rude, he was a match winner…

Flip: That is exactly it. He WAS a match winner. Now he looks like a mate whiner. Look at the list; Shuttle Pad Girl, Dim Sharma, Mandy Baby… the list is endless! Once he was called ‘Successor to the God’. Today he is nothing but ‘Sexessor’. He has taken the playboy image so seriously, plays like a boy on the field. No responsibility!

GR: Alright, alright… What about the book?

Flip:  I really couldn’t catch all of his talk with Peace-brat. But he has more substance to write about his off-field action. Jumbo Bhai has called his book ‘Wide Angles’. Young-King can actually call his, “Wild Angels”! All of them in one book, that will be a ‘Hit’ like one of his pull shots of Baby Broad!

GR: Wow! that is quite a lot. Thanks Yaar! Do keep in touch…

Flip:  Yup, sure… Now I have to rush in. We have a team meeting this afternoon. They have gone out in search of Young-King who went out last evening! As soon as they find him, the meeting will end! See you soon and for God’s sake please don’t divulge my name and number!

GR: That was really GR8! I shall keep you 'Faceless', but please do come out more often!