The Writing on the 'Wall'

Monday, 22 February 2010


While missing Rahul Dravid during Nagpur Test, I had coined an ‘Inspired’ slogan cum prayer for Team India for the Eden Test, “Wall is well”. This got the approval of my friends’ circle. A lot of people found it funny as well as relevant. This made me think about Rahul Dravid; one of the modern day Cricketers I admire for both his Cricket and his character!

So here I am, with some light-hearted but pretty valid thought about Rahul Dravid, ‘The Wall’! RD henceforth.

Our mighty neighbors to the north, China have always looked down upon India as inferior to them. They even claimed recently that India’s Nuclear program was at least a decade behind that of their own. Well, how do we counter China then? In the field of Sports, we can hardly match them, except in Cricket! Tennis was one sport where we were ahead until recently, but not now. China has leapfrogged ahead of India in most of the fields.

They have the strongest ‘Political Will’ to curb any kind of ‘Terrorism’ on their soil. Unfortunately as of now, our rulers have proved time and again, ‘We don’t have it’. They have so much going for them and then they have the ‘Great Wall of China’. So what do we have? And then I realized; we have RD, ‘The Great Wall of India’!

RD is a Commerce graduate. Ever thought of what RD would have been if he were to be into business? He would have ended up on the ‘Board’ of ‘The Wall Street Journal’.

It was admirable of Team India that they came up triumphs at the Eden without RD. But most of the times, when RD is injured and sidelined in Test matches; ‘The Writing is on the Wall’ for Team India.

When the ICC finally decides to honor RD for his contribution to the game of Cricket; they will have to induct him into the ‘Wall of Fame’! And when a shining portrait of him adorns the ‘Hall of Fame’; we can call it ‘The Wall on the Wall’!

The grapevine has confirmed the news of the international chain of Supermarkets going to re-launch their chain in India with RD as their ‘Icon’. And the shops will be named, ‘The Wall Mart’.

It also is rumored that the manufacturers of the famous ‘Mentholated Cough Lozenges’ are in contact with RD for promotion of their ‘Cool’ Mint. They are going to call it ‘Walls’ and the punch line will be, ‘The Wall without a Hole’!

Taking cue, the Ambuja Cement too have roped in RD as ‘Brand Ambassador’ with a new ad, ‘Yeh Deewaar Kabhi nahin tootegi’ means ‘This Wall will never break’! It sure is an awe-inspiring thought!

Yash Raj Films [YRF] have confirmed the launch of a Hindi movie based on Cricket and it will be titled, “Deewaar”. In a scene reminding us of the old YRF Classic; the rival Captain will ask Indian Captain, “Mere pass Gul hai, Shahid hai, Shoib hai, Sami hai aur Rana bhee hai, bol tere paas kya hai?” And Indian skipper will reply with the customary cool, “Mere paas Deewaar hai”!

It is now out; the secret at last is out! The dethroning of RD from the Captaincy of Bangalore Royal Challengers has nothing to do with Cricket. RCB owner Vijay Mallya actually wanted RD to be part of his Kingfisher swimsuit calendar tentatively titled ‘The Balls and The Wall’.

Since RD the ever so Gentleman didn’t like the idea, Mallya had no option but to sack RD from Captaincy. He hoped Peitersen will be more accommodating. But even before Kevin settled down on the job, he had to leave. Last heard that Mr. Mallya hopes to use the honorable Anil Kumble with the theme ‘The Bimbos and the Jumbo’. We are waiting for the response from Kumble, just like Mallya!

And why did RD suddenly resign from Captaincy of Indian team soon after the twin Test Series wins in the Caribbean and England? Simple, he heard too many things which were not meant to be heard. People like Ashok Malhotra who were blabbering a lot; forgot an old adage in Hindi, "Deewaar ke bhi kaan hote hain"... "Even Walls do have ears!"

Finally… what will I call this piece of information shared with my friends? Well, some day I would like to write a book on ‘The Rahul Dravid’. I have a nice name for the book ready, but I am not ready to divulge it yet. So I will call this blog-post, ‘The Wall Journal’!

For more details, please log on to: www.thegreatwallofindia.com